The Pitch

Original Message — From : Emilie – To : WHQ  Subject : Entry Fee


Last night I went with a group of friends to WHQ & I must admit that neither the club, music or people were my scene at all (most of my friends had a really good time though).

Unfortunately, I had already paid the £8 admission before I realised that the place wasn’t somewhere I wanted to be for the night, and left pretty well right away. I was really hoping to get my £8 back, being a student it’s a fair bit of money for me.

The guy behind the counter downstairs said to wait until the manager showed up, but after a good thirty minutes of waiting still nothing.

I left, but am really hoping to still get my entry money back, since it is more than I can spend on ten minutes in a club that wasn’t for me.

Yours, Emilie


The response

Original Message — (cue title changeFrom : WHQ – To : Emilie  Subject : Re: Entry Fee & Cheeky Monkeys…

Hi Emilie,

The short answer is no.

You came of your own free will, willingly paid & then chose to leave. Also, the idea that you can accurately draw such conclusions about the Club after ten minutes, we don’t feel is really credible.

We are very well advertised & you, like everyone else who attends, has the option of checking us out in advance, via the internet to see what we do & present, prior to attending any of our events, via our informative website,

The fact that you chose not to do that, or ask around to gauge opinion on what kind of Club we run, was your choice.

If you honestly can’t afford to risk the admission fee on places you have not been to before Emilie, then to check them out in advance is obviously the smart move.

Honestly, expecting us to refund your money when you clearly didn’t bother to do that & apparently couldn’t even afford to come anyway, is an oversight that borders on foolish.

It’s not like you are some sort of charity, so in this type of circumstance, as in life, you really need to take responsibility for your own actions.

However, that said, we are great believers in karma…

As we have found your e mail & request to be so original (& cheeky), we will be donating the £8.00 you paid in admission on the night you came to our favourite charity, rather than us paying it into our business bank account, or refunding it to you.

So, the money you paid us will be donated to Monkey World in Dorset. You can see all of the wonderful work they do, via the link in the Stuff We Like section of our website.

Many of the inhabitants there are nearly as cheeky as you!

Best wishes, World Headquarters.


Original Message — From : Emilie – To : WHQ : Subject : Re: Entry Fee & Cheeky Monkeys…


interesting choice of charity, but I guess if that’s the best you can do then fine.



In conclusion

The fallout from Emilie & the hapless refund punt that became ape related, was that we decided we quite liked Emilie. This is because Emilie had a punt, struck out, accepted that fact & happily ended up assisting monkeys.

So, the world temporarily became a slightly better place for our favourite, Dorset dwelling, inspirational Ape brethren.

So, a happy ending with yet more of that good old WHQ natural justice… x