The Pitch

Original Message – From: Josie – To: WHQ – Subject: New submission from Contact Us


Hope you are well,

My name is Josie and I am an Assistant Producer working on a brand new programme for Channel 5, 100% Hotter.

We are looking for contributors to take part in this exciting new series and are hoping you might be able to help us spread the word?

If you could potentially post our flyer on your social media I would be extremely grateful?

Looking forward to hearing from you.
Kind Regards,


The Hand

Original Message – From: WHQ – To: Josie – Subject: Re: New submission from Contact Us

Hi Josie,

What is the show about..?

We have to be sure we think it’s appropriate to our crowd if we are to endorse it.

If it’s anything to do with drugs we wouldn’t be interested.

Best wishes, WHQ x.


Is she talking about outer space..?

Original Message – From:  Josie  – To: WHQ – Subject: Re: New submission from Contact Us

Hi WHQ, 

Thank you for getting back to me.

We are looking for people who spend hours getting ready, who wear a lot of make up, who go to extreme lengths with their look and style to stand out from the crowd. That could be through make up or clothing or both, the show is a little like the TV series Snog Marry Avoid f you ever saw that?

We are just looking for people who are extreme with their style to come and meet with our stylists and have a makeunder.

I have attached a flyer which gives a little bit more, do you think this is something you might be able to help us promote or do you know anyone yourself who you would like to nominate?

Thanks, Josie


Return of The Hand

Original Message – From: WHQ – To: Josie – Subject: Re: New submission from Contact Us

No, we’re an underground Club & the people who come here aren’t like that.

Ours is a music thing.

Best wishes, WHQ x.

The Queen of the Corner approaches…

Now, from one suitably deluded Josephine – to another & this one is a proper daft radge & Old Skool, official, Complaint Corner treasure.

Are you ready readers..?

Now we don’t encounter many human beings as self entitled & sanctimonious, as this most wobblie of eggs – Feel her pain…