Completely Free of charge, you say..?

It’s Completely free..!

(Unless of course, you are these little guys…)

As you know if you’ve been to WHQ, we run a fly little Club. We hope from reading all this caper, you also realise that we have a fly little site..?

That means that certain people / businesses would love to ride on our backs & act like they represent us or have our endorsement, or our online pals, when we have no interest in, or idea who they even are.

It’s not like it’s one of our friends, asking us for something…

It’s not that at all & however they dress it up, it’s not them doing us a favour…

They just want to eat out on our vibe, using us to get more likes / traffic for their commercial enterprise. Well, we don’t roll with that.

We stay independent, wish them good luck & politely ask them – to leave us in peace.

Do they think if they offer us free things we’ll deffo give them our vote / endorsement / friendship – or a gobble..?


Like like their money / free shit / is a tool..?

What makes them assume we would like them anyway & more to the point, why do they always front & phrase their pitches – Peacock style..? As if we’ve already said yes..?

Total mystery…

There is a big difference between being free & being good. We want to be good, so we stay away from all types of online or offline media nonsense, even when it’s free.

It’s not free, WHQ is what’s free & we just wanna stay real & go our own way. One day the penny will drop with them & we look forward very much to that day.

(Reader’s voice: So, we take it the scene is now set..? You gonna disguise their real name..?)

Yup, it’s kinder that way x.


Original Message – From:  Frankie – To: WHQ – Subject: New submission from Contact Us


I would be interested in trading a link with you from your ‘Stuff We Like’ section of the website and in return you will be the first club to feature in our ‘Late Late Night’ section which we are introducing soon.

Moist Bott Cleft Newcastle is an online guide to the city’s most popular and unique food and drink venues and we would like to feature your venue completely FREE of charge.

At Moist Bott Cleft Newcastle, we are committed to showcasing the very best of Newcastle’s Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Pubs & Cafes.

We are currently looking for featured venues to sit on the homepage of our website  which will soon be launched – ranking on Google’s front page for many niche keywords and in turn bringing your business traffic and hopefully revenue.

Do you have a press release, some hi res images of your venue/food and a menu in PDF format that we can use to get you listed on the website?

(Editors note: Somewhat presumptuous?)

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask.




Original Message – From: WHQ  – To:  Frankie – Subject: New submission from Contact Us

Hi Frankie, Thanks for getting in touch. It all looks very interesting, but at WHQ we never get involved with anything like this.

We are an independent Club & we promote only via our own website, networks & word of mouth.

We don’t like to be associated with the rest of the premises that are in Newcastle, or to participate with external blogs or sites.

So thanks for the offer but we don’t wish to be involved on any level.

Good luck with your project & thanks again for thinking of us & getting in touch.

Best wishes, WHQ X

Shall we try something a little more interesting..?

(Reader’s voice: We love that one..!)