Halloween 2011

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THE WINNERS HAVE NOW BEEN ANNOUNCED..!

Please see the post at the top of the ‘Stuff We Like’ section re competition winners!

Always remember… True spookiness will never be compromised x.

Welcome to the complete WHQ Halloween Costume Competiton 2011.

Halloween & New Years Eve are the most amazing nights of the year here at WHQ. So, every year we throw the best & spookiest Halloween party in the city, by miles & these are the sweet people who came in 2011…

It was a really fab night & a proper celebration of true spookiness. Massive thanks to all who came & made such an outstanding effort making costumes & dressing up.

This was our biggest ever Costume Competition so we hope you enjoy it.

This year as always we decided to photo everyone as they arrived in the queue, so that no one missed their chance to enter & all the costumes were in tip-top condition at the start of the night. There are loads of photos below & if you were there & got your costume snapped, you were in with a chance of winning, if you could rustle all your chums to vote.

It was a really been a bumper year & many of the costumes (as you will see…) were absolutely inspired & we heap heartie praise on them below…

Some others however, were just a bit gash really & thus, we had a few lagers while we wrote all this (mainly in the middle of the night) & added critical comments & mildly humourous jibes by their photos, ridiculing their unfortunate misguided attempts, all round slackness & lack of effort.

It was all just a bit of a laugh & any scathing, drag queenesque, comments we made on your carefully constructed looks were purely in jest.

The Prizes…

The top prize was the Spookiest Costume of All. The winner of this category will got, £250.00 cash, 6 tickets for New Years Eve, a £50.00 New Years Eve bar voucher, 2 WHQ Hoodies & free admission to the Club (+1) any nights they liked for a whole year.

There were also prizes for the Most Innovative Costume Design. This won £ 100.00,  two New Years Eve tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

Best Non Spooky Costume also won £ 100.00,  two New Years Eve tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

This year there were also three extra awards outside the public vote, but which you were still welcome to comment on & make suggestions for. Full details are below.

All prizes where possible, were personally, paw delivered by Ronnie the WHQ dog.

The Rules…

If you scroll down to the bottom of the page you could submit votes for your favourites in the comment section.

Anyone could vote, for as many costumes as they liked, but could only vote for each costume once or your votes didn’t count.

Votes had to be out of ten & include a comment.

You had to vote & comment on at least 3 costumes per post for your vote to be registered.

You were free to comment on ones that you thought were rubbish too if you liked & take the micky out of your pals etc. When voting we asked you to please use the full  name that we had given the costume so we could be sure who you meant.

When you voted it came to the WHQ office & we then had to approve it to avoid getting loads of spam & we will update the voting daily.

You were free to use any hustle you liked to get more votes & it was ok to put links from this page to facebook etc if you wanted run a full on campaign for yourself.

If you wished to vote but don’t want to appear in the comment section you could e mail you vote to our offices info@welovewhq.com where it was added into the final totals.

Ronnie the WHQ dog was the adjudicator this year & as always, her decision in all matters was final. Anyone she took a dislike to during the voting process, was disqualified & then eaten.

Ronnie picked twenty of the finest contestants to go forward to be considered for her special award, for ‘Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’. The top ten won Hooodies & NYE tickets & from 10 to 15 won NYE tickets.

There was also a ’Best Bloodwork Award 2011′ & a ‘Best Make Up Award 2011′ chosen by all the girls who work with us at the Club.

This was all outside of & extra to, the normal competition shenanigans.

Ok then, here 2011’s entries, obviously voting is now closed. There are four sections in total, all on this page, displaying one after another. They are… ‘The Zombies’ - ’The Animal Kingdom’ - ‘Famous People/Mini Categoies & Costumes without Categories’ - ‘Multiple Disciplines’.

Feel free to pop back again too over the coming days, as to see all the photos & read all the text took us just under 2 hours..! 

2011 really was that deep & the last thing you wanna do is miss a belter like 5*Zip Girl, Die Pod, or Zombie Masterclass 2011. There really are great looks all over the place. Please bear in mind this was all written in 2011, so there will be odd moments when the tense of the commentary may have drifted a little over time.

Ok, now if you are sitting comfortably, we shall begin….

 

The Zombies.

One of the most over subscribed categories this & every year, the Zombies enter the competition at varying levels of competence. Some are quite simply incredible & some are so, so, inexpilicably bad they deserve really good beating…

Here at WHQ we like to try to give them that beating, in cases where we feel it is well deserved. Standards must be maintained & we can assure you that they are & things explode into absoulte astounding Zombie glory, further down the page…

For now, we shall begin with some of the more junior contenders.

1. Hurt My Neck Stealing the Ribena.

This pathetic attempt at a Zombie has been put at the top here, in order to highlight the disparity between this lame, happy-go-lucky chancer, his half-baked Ribena antics & the absolute masterpieces of Zombiedom that lie ahead for you, within this category.

This man is lame & in true Zombie spirit should have his heed smashed open with a rock. We guarantee you, should he ever turn up here again in such a low budget Vimto based costume, that is exactly what shall happen…We shall personally see to it.

2. Utterly Pointless.

There is nothing to say about his get up, other than it is pathetic. Nothing.

3. Minimum Effort Zombie.

A spattering of Be-ro flour, a touch of jam & a 100% incorrect pose, more suitable to an academic, cross-dresser, make this lame, would be Zombie idiot next on the list for a breeze block, stotted clean off his noggin.

4. Slightly Better Zombie.

At least he’s got the stance right, has embraced the obligatory bleeding eye socket (always a winner) & he probably thinks he’s doing quite well… Maybe needs to scroll down the page a wee bit & rethink his groove.

5. Back to Front.

We are currently considering opening a glamour over spookiness electro convulsive, corrective therapy programme, to re educate all these young ladies, who persist in putting glamour over spookiness at Halloween. This is wrong! Deeply, deeply, wrong & these two cheeky little monkeys are first on the list.

6. Ill Conceived Fireman.

Something or other Fire dept abbreviated on his crap shirt… Check!

Cod, Ali G faux gangsta hand gesture… Check!

Inconsistency of strawberry jam on face & vimto on shirt… Check!  

Total rubbish… Not even half a proper Zombie.

7. Half Arsed Jimmy.

Here’s another squinting half  chancer. Call that a flippin’ costume..? He’s about as Sonic Youth as Cliff Richard. You must try to do better brother, have you no pride..?

8. Drag Ya Leg.

Facial expression is Zombie gold, the shirt a little clean to be a true Zombie wardrobe item. Great work with the mouth though, proper red blood next time will further unleash the obvious Zombie potential this young scallywag has within him.

9. Obligatory Rocker.

Good stance, authentic rocker carry on, only problem is he probably looks like this all year round, probably due to the snakebite he drinks &  the widely accepted, total musical retardation of the goth rock genre.

10. Half a Job Harriet.

This Zombie is not a Zombie. It’s a Half a Job Harriet, who whilst getting blood on the corner of her mouth, has totally overlooked her eye sockets (a crime against Halloween) & has neglected to adopt any form of Zombie pose…

That’s a shame because the work she’s done on her shirt with potato prints, could’ve won her a prize (were this a nursery school & we were giving out prizes for half-baked efforts that bear no comparison to the genius of her assembled peers). The first law of Zombiedom…If you don’t act Zombie, you won’t be Zombie. All chancers take note.

11. Zombie Jessica Rabbit.

This Rabbit appears to have no ears (& seems a tad rampant…)  Half a job, she criminally confuses seaside postcard, slap & tickle sauce, with actual, meaningful, Halloween spookiness content.

12. Zombie John Lennon.

Wearing that when he was shot was he…? Well.. was he..?!! A travesty of continuity department errors, which overshadow a masterful facial wound.

13. Zombie Spice Girls.

Sporty still alive is she..? Well…is she..?!! Only 4/5 of the gang dead here unfortunately, which is a shame as it was looking pretty good. 

14. Shamone.

Surprised to see only one Zombie Mike this year. Seems Amy’s kinda pipped him in the undead popularity stakes.

15. Zombie Peter Pan & Tinkerbell.

Nice to see these two much loved children’s characters slaughtered in the name of Halloween. However those necks need more work. If you die from a throat wound, believe us when we say, it’s a lot more gory than that.

If you wanna find out just how gory, try turning up next year in the same costumes & letting us butcher you… A lovely concept squandered by minimal strawberry jam.

16. Zombie Junior.

The standard suddenly goes up… Fantastic work with the lungeing hands & the shadow they cast. He’s definitely on the right track here but Zombie Junior needs to mature his look & realise that you can’t have that much blood on your hands without getting a bit more on your shirt. For him to return triumphant as Zombie Senior next year, he also needs to realise, all Zombies have ripped clothing - It’s the second law of  Zombiedom.

17. Morris Dancing, Leprechaun-Type Zombie Mess.

Barely a Zombie at all, this mish mash of looks, whilst incongruous, sort of Victorian & totally off the wall, unfortunately just doesn’t work for the lad. There’ll be no prizes for him this year, but if he emails us via the website, we will donate some vitamin D tablets to him.

Hopefully, they will assist in sorting out that heinous case of rickets he appears to be sporting, which although in keeping with his Victorian type theme, is making him walk funny…  Better luck next time pal.

18. Slashed Up Doctors.

Came to the party, already know they’re not going to win, don’t particularly care & are just here for a good laugh & a bit of a dance about. This attitude too, alongside spookiness, is also in the true spirit of Halloween.

19. Surgeon of death.

Very basic costume this one is pal. More overt spookiness next time please.

20. Yet More Surgeons.

Good eyes & bloodwork from both of these medical professionals & the addition of the severed hand is both a a tasteful & appropriate move.

21. Zombie Baby Nathan.

School boy error here, by the lad Nathan. You can’t be drinking out of a baby’s bottle if you’re a Zombie, unless it has blood in it. Added to the fact, we’ve got minimal blood on the romper suit, he’s gonna have to up his game seriously next year to avoid the scorn of his peers.

22. Dead Roman in a Suit Jacket.

Why would you…? This Zombie pretender is totally devoid of all merit.

23. Zombie Albino Rasta.

Novel concept we’ll grant you, but does it really work…?

24. Gruesome Threesome.

A nice claw there on the left, gives way to a nice scrunchy central sneer, topped off with top level Zombie/ Mummy paws on the right. A nice little look & the girls have done well in this snap, accompanied also by a top notch supporting cast. Looks like things are picking up at last…

25. Retro Zombies.

Good take on the several days dead, blue Zombie genre. The 70’s were the golden period for Zombies, when they could just potter about bumping into each other all the time, without all that 28 Days Later, dashing about palava. Both looking good here & it’s a nice classy homage to happier, more contented times.

26. 20’s Flapper Zombie.

She isn’t from Hati & Zombies only appeared outside of Hati in the mid 70’s… Terrible continuity error, but an equisite chest wound, with good blood colouration, even so.

27. Zombie Tin Tin & The Captain.

Topical, as the Tin-Tin movie is about to come out & even though reference to Zombiedom has been paid here by the lads, it isn’t really over blown enough in the costumes to deliver maximum votes.

‘Topicality is always good’, is in fact it’s the 15th Law of Halloween, but must always be viewed alongside Law 16, which clearly states “Topicality at Halloween, on it’s own… is simply not enough”.

Read clause 8c of the World Headquarters Official Halloween Code for further details. Don’t forget readers, we must never compromise on spookiness…

28. Dead Police Officer.

Always a joy to see… Here she is Zombie-ing up quite nicely & showing a keen eye for the competition, given the fact that she has a WHQ Halloween flyer in one hand & a £10 note in the other. She’s keen, but you have to wonder if the Zombie competition may be a little too fierce for her this year…?

29. Zombie Mimes.

Who aren’t actually miming & seem to be relying on pure maths & the trio principle, to triple their chances. Reasonable blood work, average make up, surely can do better.

30. Zombie Freddie Mercury.

Lacking in Zombie pose, not really very champion & certainly not rocking us at all.

31. Sailorgirl & Batwoman.

How these two have ended up in the Zombie category, is beyond us. Both have gone for glamour over spook, which as previously explained in this competition, is a crime against Halloween, meriting a large & prolonged electrical shock. Interesting blood work on Sailorgirl’s arm & if we’re not mistaken, that may be a slashed chest… right there under her hair?  

In the wrong category they may be, but they seem in good spirits though & we hope they embrace re education & make a point of attending the electro convulsive, corrective therapy programme, we mentioned earlier.

32. Shy Zombie.

Took us ages to get this geezer to agree to have his photo taken, yet his get up is certainly better than some of the limp-wristed chancers, further up the page.

He’s got his faults, terrible hairline/make up border, total lack of inner ear make up & bloodless palms, but despite all that, his shirt is extremely well put together. With a couple of strategically placed shirt tears in there & a spot more makeup, he could stand a chance in future contests.

 

We’d advise him to attend our Zombie posing seminar, which we’ll be holding in the Club a fortnight before Halloween next year.

33. Unenthusiastic Dead Fairy Tale Characters.

Another bunch who got all dressed up then cried on when we wanted to take their photos & wouldn’t pose. The spirit of Halloween is exhibitionism. That, young ladies is a fact & you’d do well to observe your peers, below…

34. Lunging Dead Schoolgirls.

A proper bit of enthusiasm goes a long way & these two were well up for the evenings spookiness. Not the strongest costumes, but commitment can always overcome that. You can’t put a price on a young ladies willingness to lunge.

35. Dead Schoolgirl 3. That is a tight look, with some quality self harm wounds there on the right arm. The addition of pen on the hands, in a schoolgirl context is historically accurate. We all drew on our hands at school & thus she has nailed this look totally.

36. The Purple Gang.

Chums with Half arsed Jimmy (number 7), but obviously not pally enough to sort his look out for him. Great face painting skills on display here & a nice comandeering of the colour purple from those lazy witches, elsewhere in the competition. Reasonable bloodwork, great eyes & the trio factor, all lift this to a quality snap. It’s cool the way the spook factor grows, as you veiw the snap from left to right…

37. Zombie Convict.

What a fab chest wound & she hasn’t scrimped on the claret either! Really strong work here with great eyes, lopsided head & a proper competition pose. Tick, tick, gold star!

38. Zombie of Sorts.

Bit more of a clown really. Average face make up let down by everyday clothes. Is it just us, or are the girls running away with this category of the competition..?

39. Zombie Nurse 1.

Excellent claw work, slightly undermined by the tab in her other hand. A Zombie box well ticked with the bloodied mouth, indicating recent feeding on human flesh & with a little more application & dedication may hit the heights next year. Must stop allowing herself to be distracted from concentrating on her inner spookiness, by tabs ‘n’ lads.

40. Zombie Nurse 2.

One of the best poses of the competition, an effortless hang, arms any Mummy would be proud of, lop-sided head (slashed throat, hopefully, covered by hair), Witches’ tights into the bargain & a high octane vacant stare. Here she has taken the basic elements of spookdom & blended them together nicely, in a highly successful montage.

41. Zombie PLO soldier.

It’s a good solid stare, but the bloodwork is poor & pink. This we fear will keep her out of the prize giving ceremony. Living proof that it’s really important to get your blood right on Halloween. Remember kids - Tampon red, not Vimto purple - at all times.

42. Dead Baywatch.

Not a lot of blood on the go here, but given her outfit she most probably drowned & was then maybe nibbled a bit by some fish. As with so many of the ladies this year, she is bringing a element of sauce with her to the proceedings. Another contender who made a point of owning her look & stayed in character all night. Nice effort.

43. Dead Zombie Slut.

Having a sign saying who you are on your costume is always risky & can go either way…  She needs to be really careful to not forget to stay in character, or her sign could be seen by voters as cutting corners. 

To carry this look off properly, she needs to pose well, engage a quality lip bite, establish a correctly executed claw gesture & then find some way to put it to good use, in a way that is inkeeping, with both the saucy & spooky elements of Halloween ….

Ooh Err Matron…..!!

44. Matron…  You Called…?

Always on hand to deliver that extra little boost, Matron, whilst not quite a Zombie, kindly offered to appear at this point in the category, to ensure it all flowed correctly. Definitely owning her look, the red eyes are smack on the money & that single rubber glove….? 

Well, we are sure that whatever that conjures up for you, the reader, it will be well within the spirit of Halloween… Great pose, tight look.

45. Dead Wind Up Doll.

A certain contender for the coveted ‘Most realistic blood of the night’ award. Against the blue that is rocking! All you Ribena Zombies, further up the page (& below) should be paying attention. This is how bloodwork should be done…

46. Classic Donkey trick.

Yup, her pals have caught her out again, with the old Donkey ears classic…! Doesn’t detract from her look too much though. Can’t tell if her dress has skulls or Minnie Mouse printed on it?  The witchy tights are rocking, but once again she is let down in the Blood Dept.

47. Zombie Hippy 1.

Plenty of blood on the go here & both the facial & mouth attention, neatly implies a recent feed. Nice vacant stare, maybe just slightly lacking a little eye make up..? Then again, maybe she’s one of those au natural, skinny dipping, no make up hippy types & has not been dead that long..?

48. Zombie Hippy 2.

Nice stare. Excellent focus with the majority of his bloodwork being around his mouth. Pleased to see a peace sign from a member of the undead, as opposed to some of the Ali G hand nonsense that has blighted other areas of the competition.

49. Kinda Half Clown, Half Zombie men.

That’s what’s on the go here. Really need to look at the neck make up though & they’re a classic example of why Wind up Doll (number 45 above) needs to hold regular bloodwork perfection classes for all future entrants of this contest.

50. Zombie Smithy & Nessa.

Excellent showing from the Gavin & Stacey favourites. Great pose, great eyes & a proper pastiche. In a totally different ball park to the two ribena merchants above. Very cool.

51.  Zombie Red Head.

This is A list Zombie posing. All over Be-ro, sunken eyes & nice blood colouration. Lovely touches with the hand marks on the legs, implying death as a result of a particularly sinister assault. Wonderous, yet subtle inward twist on the knees too. Very well executed indeed.

52. 28 Days Later Man.

The clothing is great especially the ripped coat. Half decent bloodwork & pose too. Loses it with the fag though - when infected with the Rage, you don’t stop for a fag…

It exposes the fact he is pretending & it sullies the requisite level of enthusiastic application, needed to deliver a Rage victim pose correctly. Might work down the quayside, but not here pal. More dedication required next year.

53. Dr Viktor Frankenstein & His Bride.

Fantastic effort. He is posing to perfection & really hitting the mad proffessor vibe smack out of the park. She meanwhile, is a masterclass in textbook Halloween arm elevation art. Look at the quality on display here from both of them…!! Absolutely top class & one of our certain favourites.

54. Zombie Charlie Chaplin

Excellent work with the torn clothes, colour of the blood is spot on & it’s a good look. Shame his tash is coming off.

55. Victorian Zombie.

Nice scarring & general attention to wounds. Could have dropped a coupla shades on the blood, but the overall effect is tight.

56. Obligatory Rocker part 2.

Arrogant bunch these Rockers. Lack of soul records in their collections make them think they can just bool up on Halloween, not a drop of blood in sight & expect to be called a Zombie. The flippin’ nerve! Great Kiss-type make up here though & a good scrunchy face. But without the blood… He’s not one of us - he’s one of them.

57. Zombie Jonny Ramone Meets Zombie Pirate.

JR is playing two camps here, as he seems to us to be rocking a bit of a mini-Hulk card alongside his Zombie credentials. Great eyes, really great.

Zombie Pirate however, is wearing a flippin’ anorak & we are going to mark him down for that & behead him if we ever get the chance. Zombies do not feel the cold & even the pussies in the Animal Kingdom section of this competition aren’t decked out in great big, David Bellamy coats that their mam made them wear, along with clean underpants in case they got knocked over. Soft arse.

58. Zombie Steve Irwin.

A good little face on him here but hardened World Headquarters Halloween spooksters will recall last year’s Zombie Steve Irwin, who also sported an Australian dangling corks hat. Here’s a young man who hasn’t done his homework properly.

59. Cross Eyed Zombie.

She is a class act. Two bleeding eye sockets, supa dupa cross eyes, a dishevelled & off the wall look, kinda like some sort of Zombie Maid Marion, lost in the woods…

There is a top quality neck wound & though we never like to be too critical, we feel as a result of that, a slightly lop-sided head would’ve been the icing on the cake.

60. Zombie Couple.

We can’t work out if they had a fight & she hit him with a frying pan & killed him or what? Either way he’s more Zombie than she is & he doesn’t seem to bear a grudge. There’s a charm in this picture & for once, we shall break with Halloween protocol & celebrate two people showing affection for one another above spookiness.

We should point out, we will only do this on this one single occasion because, as we said, there’s a real warm & genuine charm in this picture & we like it.

61. Sid & Nancy.

Masterpiece alert! What a fantastic look. Sid manages to drop in a hand gesture, which to the uneducated eye could be viewed as part of the Ali G-ism infection, which apparently beset areas of Newcastle during the Halloween period.

As any connoisseur will tell you, Sid’s gesture, with which Nancy joins him, is a simple basic, old skool, punk rock, two-fingered “F**k Off” & not some nu skool ‘Westside‘ nonsense. Add this raw authenticity in with the historical accuracy of the outfits & the amazing make up job (definitely top 5 this year) & what you have borders on perfection. We will be stunned if this does not score very, very, highly, as this is the very penthouse of spookery.

62. Pirate of Death.

He’s got it going on here alright… Beautiful home made sword! No amount of cash can ever purchase that degree of  Halloween authenticity. A great raggy zombified Pirate look, incorporating Witch’s tights (which is a really lovely touch!). His sneer is from the top drawer & to cap it all, he’s got so much flavour, he’s wearing a mask on his head!  

As we all know a mask at Halloween can often be seen as a cop out, so he’s just taken it to the next level, really thought outside of the box, leaving us discombobulated, as he presents his mask as a hat..!

What some people would count on for their whole look, this boy drops in as a mere titfer! Pure class & further proof, as if it was needed, that home made when it’s this standard, is always, always, best.

63. Zombie Barbie

One of the looks of the night, Zombie Barbie really nailed it. With her “Made in China” on her leg crossed out in blood to say “Killed in China”, her totally black contact lenses & her body to costume match up ratio, you couldn’t really miss her.

A very well chosen look & a perfect balance of glamour, sauce & spookery. All girls in this competition who’ve gone simply for glamour, would do well to take a leaf out of her book & make a bigger effort next time - free their minds & spook up a little more.

Barbie truly educating the femmine gender in a positve fashion & leading by example? Never thought we’d see the day..! That is a fine example of  the true power of Halloween.

64. The Undead.

His game is tight. He’s a well crafted Zombie, who’s been dead for a while, as he has the blue thing going on quite nicely. The eyes are beyond criticism & the torn clothing is 100% authentic.

We hate to nit pick & as you will surely realise, it is not in our nature to criticise the costumes of others purely for our own amusement… But we have to challenge his use of the knife as a tool…

Think about it - Zombies cannot possibly use a tool. It is industry standard & it’s indoctrinated by Rule 11 of Zombiedom.

It’s such a shame because  his execution is otherwise near perfect, but he’s only got himself to blame. WHQ cannot allow people to break the established laws of both Zombiedom & Halloween in such a blatant fashion without bringing it to the attention of voters. What’s right is right. 

65. C Section.

Original, inspired, humourous, spooky & smack on the money. We shall certainly be voting for this lady. What a sublime effort! From the umbilicus, to the sneer, the whole execution is from the toppest of drawers. We run this competiton to uncover new & vibrant spook talent like this. Earth shatteringly simple & just so, so, effective… 

We aren’t even going to take issue with the baby not being blood spattered, as an original contender such as this lady already realises that was an error. But when you see original work of this calibre it is inconsequential. That costume is the total Bomb & every Zombie that walks the earth is proud of you…!!!

66. Zombie Charver.

A really nice bit of work here too. Great facial make up & the fact he has taken it to the point of art, raises him above many in the pack. Look closely… that teeth to cheek teeth vibe properly rocks.

67. Psycho Shower Curtain.

Old Skool Flavour!! This kids, is really, really, fab in the extreme! Looked absolutely amazing on the night & with the knife sticking out of her curtain and everything, really ranks highly on our card. Dare we say an early tip for possible winner..? Spook originality like this is rare indeed… We hope you the voters treasure & reward it.

68. Zombie Masterclass 2011.

Right kids, here it is, the benchmark on so many levels. Not only are the hands extended like claws, but they are extended at the precise angle that would also allow them to poke out eyes as they grasp. Masterful…

The bloodwork around the shirt is simply exquisite & she has avoided the classic clean shirt mistake, that most Zombies make, by starting with a shirt that was off white in the first place. Preparation, as all craftsmen know, is nine tenths of the job & to base the whole ensemble on an off white, nicely torn shirt, then add the element of the tartan neckerchief (we all know jocks are radge) is simply sublime.

Again she’s ticked a box many Zombies miss, in that she has got blood in her hair from where she’s been noshing down on the entrails of her last unfortunate victim.

In further intricate details (we could literally go on forever…), the majority of her bloodwork is around her own mouth & she’s cunningly kept the blood round her lips, looking nice & damp, whilst retaining the same shade (only dry) for the blood on her shirt. No Heinz vs Ribena clashes here kids..! The eyes too, are perfection & if you needed any more reason to herald her as a true Zombie Queen, check out the hand print on the bottom of her shirt…

See the way, the blood soaked victim has grasped at her, made contact & then slipped away, smudging the blood as they fell to the ground to face certain disembowelment…

Even just taking that one element of the hand print & then comparing it with the hand print of a less accomplished Zombie (shall we say Zombie 10 from earlier up the page), leaves you in no doubt that this is a thoughtful, mature & complete 360 degree look that is way ahead of the pack, executed with style, fashion & degree. We are in awe of you !!  Gold star…. Go to the top of the class.

That concludes the Zombies, now for the next section. 

 

 

 

The Animal Kingdom.

Our Animal friends always kick up some wonderful costumes at Halloween & at World Headquarters we like spooky animals a lot. That is why a photo of Ronnie the Dog (the competition adjudicator) takes pride of place at the top of this section, sporting her finest Halloween terrorhound fangs.

You can’t vote for her as she is not a costume, she really is that spooky if she doesn’t get her walk.  Thus we thought it fitting to kick off The Animal Kingdom section with the true spirit of Halloween, immortalised here by Ronnie, for all to see.

The Animal Kingdom…

1. Pinata Zebra.

It’s home made, which is always good & she seems very proud of her arm make up. As she only actually has three stripes on her forearm, we can’t really see why she is so pleased with herself? Her mask appears to have been adapted from a pig one, by adding a little bit of marker pen. She has made the effort though, it is home made & the little zebra pinata is a highly original accessory that almost makes up for the mask…

If it is in fact full of sweets, to give to little trick or treating children (after she smashes it open on their heads) when they knock on her door at Halloween… Full marks!

2. Zebra Man.

This is not home made, it is shop bought. Therefore even though it is a stronger look than Pinata Zebra above, we are unable to award it top marks. It is a really nice swerve though, showing true commitment, right down to his shoes…

If you look carefully, I think you’ll find that rather topically, he may actually be hung like a horse…? Hard to tell with all the stripes going on, but a stirling effort nonetheless.

3. Where the Wild Things Are.

This is a great home made effort. Looked so convincing on the night, we had our adjudicators remove his Gruffalo head to inspect it on the inside. Here we found a plastic hard hat holding a load of fake fur together with gaffa tape. Excellent work, especially when you consider how hot they must’ve been spooking their way around the Club. The standard is high this year & once again this gets top marks.

4. Sexy Beast.

A great look that was really rocking out in the queue. His stance is fantastic & his piece de resistance came later in the evening, when the lager kicked in & he had a small altercation with another person in the club. Humourously, this culminated with him, in his full garb as he appears here, pursuing a fleeing Beetlejuice down the street… Hilarious!

5. Dead Leopard.

Dead Leopard marks the start of a series of low budget cats that get steadily worse over the next few snaps. She has at least made an effort by being a leopard, as most of the feminine feline contingent this year are a trifle generic, as you’ll see.

6. Low Budget Tiger

Appears to have gone to the same school of costumerie as Pinata Zebra above, but hasn’t displayed the nouce to accessorise on his lame suit. His mask is off the back of a cereal packet, but in contrast his pose is from the top draw, even with fag in mouth. This young fellow is clearly a wasterel & a ne’er do well… Who is blatantly squandering his untapped, inner Halloween potential.

7. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen. Basically…

8. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen Part 2. The sequel (now with added mouse).

9. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen. The Return.

Here Kate refers to her costume as the ‘Werecat’. Presumably because she wasn’t quite sure where the cat was within her look..? Biro, fluffy lugs & one clawed hand do not a cat make. All you Cat Women must try harder next year, or you’ll get it in the neck the way all those buckleless lazy Witches have, elsewhere in the competition.

 

10. Slight Improvement Cat.

The addition of Cats-eye shaped contact lenses & the PVC suit, takes it to the next level, raising her above the naughty step ‘Pen & Ears’ brigade. Good pose, well executed. It’s nit-picking, but could’ve done with some claws.

11. Magic Cat.

She seems quite happy with the one claw thing, but we all know at this, the highest possible level of feline competitive tussle, it’s not enough. Do like the mask though, but the bow tie isn’t quite doing it in terms of complimenting the Pussycat vibe.

12. Cleave Tiger.

Given that she’s exhibiting a fair old bit of ‘Ooh Matron’ type sauce, it’s a shame she didn’t go that one step further with the actual Heinz Tomato version. She coulda zombifed her tiger a bit & got some splattered down that cleave & on them there claws. Almost there.

13. Minimum Effort Cat

No whiskers, no tail, no mask. Just a set of ears from the Joke Shop really. No one can question the fact that she has, what  are absolutely grade A posing skills & it’s another tragic waste of endemic spook potential & claw talent. Lazy, lazy, lazy, going in the secret book for a firm smack.

14. Dead Rabbit

In a similar predicament to Minimum Effort Cat, Dead Rabbit is basically all about the lugs, which look like they were knocked up in 5 minutes out of last year’s plastic christmas tree. Saved only by the fact she zombified it. A lame effort but she did at least read the script, so there’s room for improvement next year (& plenty of it!)

15. Cat People.

Kinda spooky & as we all know, it is impossible to argue with a bleeding eye socket. Little bit of a half a job though, as simple improvements could’ve raised their game.

Those improvements are - symmetrical eye socket blood (as in, applied to her face too) & also -  symmetrical black lipstick (as in, applied to his lips, as well as hers).

Then as a finishing touch, symmetrical facial hair (as in, snipped from his pubes & then glued onto her chin), to set it all off just dandy. These two must learn not to cut corners with spookiness.

Looking ahead, unless they can get the look together as a couple for next year, we recommend he breaks out on his own, playing to the genetic strengths of his unique lugs & moves into the solo, Mr. Spock, or Lord of the Rings, Fairy-type Dude costume arena…

Obviously we derive no humour & take no pleasure in giving you this sage advice, we do it soley for your own good & in the interest of spookiness.

16. Three Blind Mice.

How dare you…?! If you are meant to be Three Blind Mice, how can you possibly justify having your Ray Charles/Peters & Lee glasses around your necks..?! You should be wearing them, you fools!

This is the moment when your costume is immortalised for all time & blatant, inherent laziness, has deprived you of a golden Halloween, rodent-related, ensemble picture of Stevie Wonder impersonating proportions - Little baby cuddles… Really..?!!

Mouse 1 also appears to be on the phone…?!! Unforgiveable disrespect for the cult of Halloween. Bye Jingo, the next time you lot come to the Club, there’ll be traps down..!!!

17. Evil Monkey.

More accessorising opportunities missed. No coconut, no banana, no Johnny Vegas, no coco pops, no pg tips, no palm oil plantation where his rainforest home used to be. There’s no use pointing the finger, the kid’s just not trying.

18. Scary Monkey Clowns.

Weren’t sure whether to put these in the Clown category or the Animal Kingdom. But as they were Monkeying around with the idea of being Clowns, we thought here was the right place. Good Clown make up here & a nice miserable Halloween groove, being exuded by all of them.

Top of the class is Monkey 1, as he looks the scariest & is protecting us from the spooky things he might say. The actual costumes are a tad lame but all three do match & as a trio they’re three times as good as one of them would be, that’s just basic mathematics.

19. Cujo the Dog.

Cujo had slight problems getting people to remember who she was meant to be, as the low budget & ludicrous horror B movie she starred in, was so long ago & so pants. Full marks to her though, for keeping a spooky & unique Halloween character alive.

Better a ridiculous, comedy dog than another of those flippin’ ten a penny, fluffy ear & a bit of pen Cats. Originality means points & supporting minority spookiness is within both the spirit of Halloween & the spirit of World Headquarters.

20. Dalmation ‘Gangsta’.

Another costume apparently infected with the Ali G-ism hand gestures that we have seen appear elsewhere in the competition this year. Halloween demands a snarling face & claw-like hand gestures. It’s industry standard pal.

Fair enough we retired turnips, we all accept that pumpkins are easier to carve. But this faux gangland hand gesture nonsense & any further americanisation of spookiness is a step too far - plus it makes him look like a knob.

21. Shop Bought Wolf

This has been zombified slightly by what appears to be a superficial throat wound. The costume is weak however & not home made. In order to raise her game, she should’ve parked herself next to Red Riding Hood, elsewhere in the competition & gone to town with the tomato ketchup.

That would’ve been a double act that could’ve elevated her in the Premier league rankings. As she stands at present, next season she’ll be away, at a metaphorical Scunthorpe…

22. Zombie Sheep

Masterclass alert! Masterclass alert!! Masterclass alert!!! Zombie sheep has got it absolutely 100%, totally, bona fide, locked down! What a classic look, gloriously home made, excellent reverse scrunch on the pose (as opposed to the basic arms out front classic stance).

You can see & almost feel the pain of zombification, twisting & contorting her & you can almost hear the throaty growl & taste her putrid, scroffulent saliva, as it dribbles down her perfectly constructed zombie face. She’s gone for the ‘dead for quite a while’ zombie vibe, with the blue skin & nailed it!

Really really top notch spookery & this young lady is top ten on our scorecard. Living (or rather undead) proof that simplicity & commitment to spookiness gets results.

23. Crocodile.

His criminal lack of zombification for this reptillian character, has led to his name being put in the secret book, for a proper hard smack on the bottom, alongside several other lazy, underzombified, miscreants in this competition.

24. Frog of Sorts.

Think he might really be a lizard as he has a tail, but who knows? Either way he’s shop bought, so we can’t see how even his Kung Fu stance can get him a prize.

25. The Octopus.

Opening the seafood section with a bang. Looked great in the Club & as sea creatures have a good record in this contest (see Jellyfish, 1st prize 2008), a good bet to be in the upper echelons when the votes are cast.

26. Zombie Lobster.

The Lobster suit may be a rental, but the red zombie vibe is all his own & lifts it to the next level. He’s got a nice ’slightly constricted by my ectoskeleton’ vibe going on with the pose too. Shame about the pants…

27. The Avatars.

Animal or not? who can say..? They look great though & have paid real attention to detail. Not that spooky, but when your look is this well crafted you get a pass. Lovely counterpoint with their white teeth in a sea of blue. A true make up milestone in this years competition. We’d like to see you do it all again next year, but on foot high stilts for true  accuracy, but despite that minor quibble - Well done you two!

28. Ultra Low Budget Avatar.

Jesus christ…! What a bliddy mess. It’s difficult to know where to start with this young lady… Is she an Avatar? If so, she is shamed by her chums above & must surely leave the forest kingdom with her head bowed in shame.

Her fan club have now been in touch with Ronnie in the comment section below, to tell us she is actually meant to be someone called Mystique from the X -men & how fabulous her look is….  Really…?

We’re trying be complimentary but it’s really hard as this is a make up train crash, that looks as though it was applied by a blind gibbon. She gets half a mark for the one handed pose & that is real WHQ generosity. Deffo needs to chum up with couple  27 for some make up tips, as her hairline/make up border redefines the word ‘poor’.

Here’s that hairline again in close up & look….She’s having a little poo! -  Bless x.

29. Killer Easter Bunny.

A top contender. Home made headgear, tres spooky & kept in character all night, darting around with his little basket of eggs. Got a touch of the Donnie Darko’s in there, but this dude has pushed the boat out, made the look his own & really lived the role. We can all learn from this exceptional effort. 

With talk of fake detachable intestines & red glow in the dark eyes, down in the comment section, he is a really strong contestant for the prizes.

30. Bert Raccoon.

Bert’s pose & cult kid comedy cartoon throwback factor, are the strongest aspects of this look. The eyes are also good. You can see by the way the crowd has parted that Bert has got the groove on.

It is always a joy to see minorites, like Bert, represented & feel they have a place at WHQ. That’s what our Club is all about & what makes it special, on every single level.

 

That Concludes the Animal Kingdom, now for the next section.

 

Famous People, Mini Categories & Costumes Without Categories…

This section contains numerous famous people, interspersed with mini categories, like World of Pumpkins, Pulp Fiction Corner, Mexican Day of the Dead & various other costumes simply too far out to categorise.

Billie the Boss.

It’s been a whirlwind year for young Billie. Having worked last year taking down costume names in the queue, 12 months later she finds herself running the whole Club & ordering Tom around all the time, poking him with sticks & calling him hurtful names to try to break his self confidence & demean him… Now that is spooky by anyone’s standards…

Unfortunately it’s kept her so busy that this year she could only muster up a a bit of marker pen for her half baked whiskers… Hasn’t even got any proper fluffy ears. Last year she was also a pants cat, but at least she managed a fake fur coat.

Living proof that anything can happen in WHQ if you work hard enough. It also proves it’s tough at the top & that being a proper little witch is an advantage, if you work in a really spooky place.

The 118 Sisters.

Here we see the 118 quins. It’s a good, humorous look, but we all know there are only two 118 men on the actual adverts. This acting in multiples thing is a tricky one. Got right, it should be five times as good, but we can’t help feeling that in this case, it’s a bit of an easy ball to take (for three of them) especially when the stakes are so high.

Could be that they reckon a gang of 118 men is spooky..? But for that to work they’d really need to be almost identically dressed, so they could  pop up simultaneously, in different spots all over the Club & freak people out. As they aren’t, this seems more like just a really good night out & a laugh for the whole gang, rather that a serious competition contender. Gotta love those tashes though!

The Beastie Boys.

Hilarious! A top look & just so, so simple… ‘89 Beaties Boys vintage nailed. Not scary at all, just really, really cheeky, cute & brimming with personality.

 

Well done lads, that’s so off the wall it could just put you in contention for the best non spooky costume of the year award. In terms of effort to result ratio, this is a masterclass. 

 

Pirate girl.

Red is working nicely here for Pirate Girl. It’s a tight look, but seems to us that she’s a bit more of a Gypsy Rose Lee? Pirates aren’t like Witches, so there are no set rules or sacred culture, which must be followed to avoid crimes against Halloween.

Surely though, a sword wouldn’t have gone amiss & an eye patch or parrot perhaps, would’ve nailed the costume properly & raised her game. In summary: good look, spoilt by zero accessories & total spookiness bypass.

Leatherface.

Outstanding Bloodstains! This is definitely a contender for best bloodwork of the competition. The way he has balanced the shading on his sleeves & arms is utterly realistic. Not sure if it’s a working chainsaw, but let’s face it, it’s only a party. Excellent pose, nice leather face & a great chance of winning something this year.

 Jessie J.

We think she is meant to be Jessie J..? For those of you who don’t know her, she is famed for yodelling like a wounded Jack Russell, having a broken foot all the time & kidnapping small multi-cultural children.

She then imprisons them & forces them to learn all her songs. Once they are fully rehearsed, she throws them into the crowd at Glastonbury,  then plucks them out (apparently at random) & forces them to perform with her, singing word for word, whilst pretending they’ve never met before.

Now this lady does actually look a little bit like her, except to really nail her look, she should’ve had the cast on her foot. Then she could have topically dragged her leg (ever so slightly), paying a slight & tasteful homage to the world of Zombiedom.

A golden opportunity to accessorise & adapt said accessories, to further the cause of Halloween spookery, has unfortunately been missed here.

Death of Starbucks.

Starbucks Coffin? What does it all mean? Why is her head red? We’d like to think that she’s making some sort of deep, philosophical statement about consumerism & exploitation in the third world. But if she isn’t, then she’s just dressed herself up to look proper daft & stuck the word coffin on her brown paper bag, as a desperate clutch at spookiness…  Either way she looks a clart.

Die Pod.

Very, very, very, very strong. A fantastic original idea, well thought out, well detailed, well named, Halloween themed, very ‘now’  & unashamedly home made.

The pumpkin for apple back is just the start of it, check the front out…

Boo! Tube - you gotta love that, Critter too, look at her…  That is a top contender for most original costume idea & at the very least, she surely has to be snuggling up all warm in a WHQ Hoodie, clutching her NY Eve tickets before too long. She could even go all the way & hit the big money.

Proof that you don’t need to spend a fortune if you are inventive & just a bit spooky in real life. Excellent eye work too, which (as by now we all know…) could only have been bettered - by the obligatory bleeding eye socket. That costume has just properly raised the bar… Hey, Mrs… We know you can hear us… Very, very, well done!!

Dude in a sack.

What is going on here..? It’s a funny little person in a bag… They must have a lot of faith in whatever they are meant to be, but we haven’t got a clue..? Nutter.

Cat Attack.

Perfection in eye work, if ever we saw it. She’s rocking some kind of Aunt Sally Panda in sabre tooth cat attack vibe, which is either highly connoisseur, or we’ve totally missed the point…  

 

Who are we..?

Not sure… Gonna need some help via the comment section on this one… Elton Johns…?

Sedako the Ring.

Nice groove with the proper actual Japanese Kimono & obligatory VHS tape. Again, as with last year’s Ring competitor, lacking the essential pond weed. Nice & scary though as he is about 7 feet tall.

Frankie & the Brides.

The notion of Frankenstein & his numerous brides forming a little pop group in honour of Halloween is highly appropriate. The ladies are all strong in the syrup department & Frankie’s limp wrist is pure Halloween class.

Bride 1’s little tootle she’s having there on her horn, would appear to be the most poignant musical contribution. The whole ensemble is marginally let down by Frankie running out of make up on his forehead, other than that a really nice group shot.

5* Zip Girl.

Jesus, Mary & Joseph - Check her out..!!  Absolutely flippin’ Outstanding with a capital ‘O’! One of the most memorable looks of this or any other Halloween. The attention to detail is exemplary…! What a flippin’ look. Is it from a movie? It’s just so mad! Check out her pins…

She’s got nails in them! All her effort was well worth it & she is racing up the field. We know everyone wants to win, but if you don’t vote for this outfit & score it highly then there is something seriously, seriously, wrong with you…

It’s just the most amazing Halloween look we have ever seen. Simple as that… You would have to come to the party dragging poor little Madeleine McCann’s actual rotting corpse around on your back, to tick the spookiness box any more comprehensively. Already a major contender for Ronnie’s special, ’ Services To Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’ award. It was an absolute privilege to have her in the Club.

No * Zip Man.

Another year we might have said ‘wow really great’. But unfortunately for this little chap he has been blown right of the water by the girl above. It must be from a film for them both to be rocking it. His is rubbish compared to hers. Look at his ludicrous little jerkin he has on…

He hasn’t even made the top of his nose up properly & has made no effort to blend in his zip.  Bet he was gutted when he saw her… Ha!  We’d have just turned around & gone straight home. Really unlucky for the lad, but he only has himself to blame for underestimating the oppositon.

All together now, lets all shout…. ‘Hey Mr! Mr!! - That girl up there  just kicked yo’ ass..!’

There is a lesson for us all in here, a lesson about commitment to spookiness. These two are like a  microcosm of the entire competition this year… The girls are now totally running away with it…

Mexican Day of the Dead.

We saw our first Mexican day of the Dead contestants at last year’s party. They can be proud of the lasting impression they made, as this year the MDD’s have mulitiplied considerably, as we shall now demonstrate…

Mexican 1.

Good work,casually dishevelled heair, gives way to a well serviced hair-make up borderline that appears almost seamless. A nice facial pattern, making her eyes look permanently surprised. Good attention to the neck (at bliddy last !) with the only minor quibble being, it’s starting to fade a little around her lips & chin, from where she’s possibly been giving all the boys a bit tongue & nosh.

Mexican 2.

Not a full blown Mexican in the true sense, but a nice co-ordination between hair, eye sockets, flower & dress. Quite a spooky look & definitely a grower. Given the level of spookdom around on this particular evening, it’s possible for a look such as this to be overshadowed by some of the more extreme grooves in the competition. Take some time with it readers, as it is connoisseur spookery & you can’t argue with a cheeky little nibble of lip.

Mexican 3.

This is more in the classic Day of the Dead style, an excellent use of colour, let down somewhat by the classic error of not taking the make up past the line of his top. Nice vacant stare, hiding the fact that it’s possibly a West African shirt (& if so major continuity error). Nice try though.

Mexican 4. Calavera.

Calavera is representing the more authentic end of the Day of the Dead genre. The idea of this whole groove is that you paint yourself up like a dead person, with a decorated skull & celebrate the lives of your ancestors in a happy, carefree way. As such this Mexican festival, which takes place at the start of November each year, is one of the most positive global applications of spookery & this category can only grow, year on year.

This is a nice make up job with funny teeth & the cob-webbing is a nice touch. However, next time we see him we are gonna do him a massive favour & pin him down, beat him unconcious, grab a brush & paint his scraggy neck with a bucket of white emulsion…

As we have now officially lost our patience with incomplete & inconsistent neck make up, within the context of this competition.

Mexican 5.

This is another good one. The beads work really well & the looking up to the heavens pose, with the eyes, is a mark of quality. The ability to pose with whatever is at your disposal is an essential trademark of any aspiring Halloween competition winner.

Mexican 6. Mexican day of the Lame…

Dearie me… With most competition outfits there is a fair chance that someone else is gonna try the same look. This little chappie needs to learn the same lesson, as copycat zip boy, further up the page.

No one wants to come bottom of the class & with his little Ska boy’s hat, clown’s tie & baby panda’s found the felt pens make up job, our friend here has achieved exactly that. Go & sit in the corner & face the wall…

 

World Of Pumpkins.

Pumpkins have replaced turnips completely now, as the Halloween lantern of choice. Turnips tasted nicer but pumpkins are easier to carve. It may hurt, but we all  just have to accept that times have changed & we must try to be strong, adapt & move on…

The Pumpkin King.

This is an excellent pose, filling the lens. Nice use of purple (Witches take note) & the claws are smack on the ticket. The only 2 problems displayed here are the fact that, his pumpkin head, isn’t lined up properly with his own eyes (raising serious issues of Halloween health & safety) & the fact that he doesn’t have a crown. Kings have crowns, that’s basic Fairytale crack. He does have a natty cloak though & they have been somewhat thin on the ground this year.

Pumpkin Dress.

This is a home-made effort & the little face is laugh out loud. It’s a confident pose, with the crossed legs & the arms akimbo & she’s obviously very proud of her achievements, as well she should be. Despite the fact she looks like she could be in Bucks Fizz & in some 80s Halloween time warp, she just seems so pleased with herself & her funny little outfit that you can’t deny it’s somewhat endearing. Bless x.

Flatbelly Pumpkin.

Pies love, that’s what you need… Pumpkins are supposed to be round. Everyone knows that. What we have here, appears to be more of a Zombie (pose), Witch (tights), Carrot (outfit) hybrid. This is either, highly original & breaking new boundaries in spookdom, or a parcel of you know what… Top marks on the orange face though, not sure if it’s a part of the costume or if she’s just got a touch of the Geordie Shores?

Pumpkin Dude.

Here’s a funny, little fellow, who again looks very pleased with himself, what is it with these pumpkins..? He’s done well to source those orange pants & his overall groove is good. He’s got cheek, swagger &  we all know what’s letting him down…(all together now, that’s right, here we go again…) inconsistencies in neck make up application. He’s also got, make up hairline issues, but as he presents himself as a fully confident package, bereft of all self-consciousness, he pulls it all off really well.

Cheery Pumpkin.

Here’s another happy pumpkin, out celebrating the death of the turnip. Hers is a slightly less elaborate ruse, shop bought if we’re not mistaken & as long as she just came to have fun & doesn’t expect to win a prize, then we suppose it’s fair dues.

If however, she establishes a facebook campaign, getting thousands of people to vote for her, propelling her into the prize fund reckoning, then we shall hunt her down & in keeping with true pumpkinnery, scoop out her insides & throw them in the bin. That would be justice & that along with spookiness, is what we’re here for.

Another thing we are here for, is to always jump straight through any comedy window that presents itself. At Halloween, we rely the fact that people as happy go lucky as Cheery Pumpkin, will realise we are only poking fun when her pals say…

 

Cheery Pumpkin’s Slapstick Chums.

Poo! She’s just farted & her bumhole is this big…

Sorry Cheery Pumpkin, but we honestly, just couldn’t let that one get away… Ha! x.

Hire Shop Bananas.

Absolutely terrible. Not spooky at all. Not funny either. Mainstream twaddle & bordering on a crime against Halloween. We expect to see this sort of faeces in the Bigg Market, not in the holy temple of spookiness, that is World Headquarters. Disgraceful…

Kate Bush Lip.

Luckily for this young lady, she has a genetic Kate Bush lower lip, as beyond that, her spookiness appears to amount to little more than some low grade blood work in her pectoral region. 

 Another Low Budget Hire Shop Banana.

Now we have been here before, haven’t we readers..?

Heinz Self Harmer.

You appear to have come as a repressed, middle class, attention craving, privately educated school girl with attachment issues..?

Spooky Something.

A very good facial pose. Very, very, good. The stare is top notch, the lips are on & the left eye socket is right on point. Nice work with the ‘crush your nuts’ hand pose too.

There’s a fine line make up wise, wherein you can just do your face as a kinda death mask & not have to worry about making up your neck. The trick if you are gonna rock that look, is to have absolutely no make up on your neck at all - not even a smudge…

Spooky Something has achieved that balance & has delivered a make up lesson, that many in this competition would do well to take note of.

Ritchie Tenenbaum.

Here your man is being some guy off a film we haven’t seen… Googled a pic of him & he does look like the dude though. Shame he couldn’t have shown a little more maturity, in the content of his (apparently) prepubescent tiny vagina chest wig…

We don’t subscribe to the Belgian school of thought that states  ’If it’s got hair on it, it’s ready…’  Adults only round this way, thank you.

Bloody Hilda.

Hilda Ogden & her Coronation Street chums rocked the whole Grannie Char Lady look back in the day. Here we see it updated for Halloween with what we can all surely agree, is an inadequate amount of blood…

The slippers are class, but scrimping on the claret is not in the true spirit of Halloween. This lady needs to invest. We are looking for buckets, not mooncups…

Gypsy Dancer.

Another candidate for the pasty shop, Gypsy Dancer has nailed her look & it’s a relief to see she’s gone Balklands as opposed to Dale Farm. Appears to have a minute smudge of blood on one of her hands..?  Which unfortunately cannot possibly qualify as spooky. We are looking for a strong, regular & consistent flow, not light, intermittent spotting…

Jammie Dodger.

A class act & people actually audibly cheered him as he approached the queue. It looked home made & whilst not spooky, broke new non spooky costume territory. Simple but effective & well celebrated by his peers.

Hopeless Wastes of Time.

Jesus! Hunt down… catch… rope… petrol… match… you know the drill.

The Trolls.

Mad hair & the toppest quality face scrunching really take this pair to the next level. Nice accessorising of shorts, shoes, bags & hair colours, delivers them as an accomplished duo. The costumes aren’t that adventurous, but Trolls are officially spooky & a massive deal in Scandinavia. Nice bit of international flavour, let’s face it - it is World Headquarters.

Adventure time Gang.

Nice & obscure & well put together. A proper little crew, rocking a minority look.

Thing 1 & Thing 2.

Keeping these minority looks in focus & alive, is a major defining purpose of our Halloween party vibe. Here we have 2 Dr Seuss characters brought to life & back in the headlines…

Dating from way back, you have to ask yourself, were it not for these two, when next in your life you would ever come accross them again..? Excellent revival quota & they both do actually look a bit like the real Thing 1 & 2, which rather topically - makes it spooky…! Very laudible effort & another really great example of minority work.

Harlequin.

There’s a genuine enthusiasm in Harlequin’s pose here & it’s a nice step outside the run of the mill clown vibe. Not that scary, but quality facial scrunching should always be acknowledged at Halloween.

Note to self- Attempts to influence editing of page may result in opening of comedy window…

Ha! If you check the comment section below, Harlequin has been in touch, grumbling that we chose not to use the full frontal shot we took of her. She genuinely thinks she is the best costume in the competition, says she wants her photo changed & is…

‘Not being funny, but… is in it to win it… & how can we expect her to get votes with a headshot… etc., etc.,’

We thought we were doing her a massive favour with the edit & had protected her modesty… Evidently not.

Well she’s certainly being funny now, when you see how desperate she must be for the toilet…

Surely a two pinter..? Best whip that romper suit off & relive yourself Petal…

Luigi & Mario.

These two shop rental cop outs have been comprehensively out tashed by the 118 sisters earlier in this category. They also look like they are about to audition to try to get into the most influential pop group ever to have graced the Planet’s surface - Steps.

Especially him on the left… We really do need more imagination from you next year my loves…

Luigi the Lady.

Ditto, but with 2 extra marks. One for the white gloves & one for not coming over all ‘H’.

Peppermint Butler.

This again is some kinda obscure cartoon guy. He’s from a bizzare TV show called Adventure time. In the actual show, he is just a kind of round, blue, peppermint disc with a face & doesn’t have an incongruous, gurning loon attached to his back, as he appears to have here…

He’s been in touch via the comment section to explain his gurning lunacy is the result of copious amounts of beer, which we accept. Nothing wrong with that pal, in fact well done! It is at a party after all.

Utter Shite.

Total & complete.

Utter Shite part 2.

Almost as bad… Called him self a lumberjack but was kidding only himself with that one. Could have trumped his pal above with a furry little mirkin, had he only made the effort & undone his top button. Not giving him a point for the pose either, but whoever in the background there who is reaching out to drag him offstage, is to be highly commended.

Utter Shite Part 3 (the return).

What on Earth is going on here? Whatever kind of demonic loon he’s trying to portray, cannot possibly get away with insurance man’s shoes. Is he some sort of Vampire… ? As he seems to have a little Vampire tooth there under the little rag he’s got on his head… Whatever it is he’s up to is not assisted by his lack of pose.

At this level of top competitive spookery, the whole body must be contorted to effect the most realistic representation of spookiness (see Zombie Sheep - Animal Kingdom #22). Just using your face is never gonna work, especially if you cover half of it up. Bit of a Muppet Show job.

Utter Shite 4 (Son of).

Ringo Starr in his gran’s poncho..? Whatever he’s attempting here, he’s failed miserably. Teal & his chums are laughing at him in the background, which is both understandable & wholly justified.

Cyborg.

Saw her on the night & can confirm that the photo doesn’t do her costume justice. Even so, the fag doesn’t help at all & the Be-ro is at best patchy. A complicated look, constructed from many elements, will always require dedication to hold it all together. Her delivery just isn’t tight enough so she falls at the last…

Boobie Gran.

BG seems to be a fellow in a gran’s outfit, with large, inflatable, boobie meats. Whether this is actually a costume or just a fetish he’s been waiting to get out of his system for a while, is up for debate.

Jigsaw.

Scary character done well, but not, we feel to the standard of last years Jigsaw, who was a girl & had accessories. Class socks though & the neck make up (though it may be on the way out), is still in place & was at least applied in the first place. Which is more than can be said of many of the other miscreants taking part in this competition.

Snow White.

Bit of a spook bypass going on here & not in the true spirit of things. Zero blood, zero threat, zero pose, zero spook, must surely equal zero points at this level. Nice, totally out of place jacket though…

s

Posessed Doll.

Kinda spooky in the eyes & the knee thing is a cool doll touch. Even though she’s a doll & obviously wouldn’t have any blood, a smattering on the dress, utilising a tad of poetic license, would have ensured a little more spookiness & taken her dress out of the Playschool presenter zone.

Fallen Angel & Queen.

We assume that Fallen Angel must’ve had some wings on her back but due to camera fatigue, we haven’t managed to snap them. We don’t know what Queen is the queen of, but it’s safe to say, she isn’t Betty, Freddy, or Graham Norton.

Hollyoaks Lookalike & Kenneth Williams.

Haven’t got a clue what’s going on here, just know that the bloke on the left looks like he could be off Hollyoaks & the bloke on the right looks a bit Carry On film. You the jury must decide…

Stumbled Upon the Party.

These 3 dwarf, albinos have really gone to town & delivered one of the most utterly convincing transformations of the whole competition…

Oor Willie.

Timeless, timeless, classic Scottish newspaper cartoon column geezer. Simple & rarely seen. A fabulous piece of minority cartoon character revival work. Couldn’t wait to get his bucket down when he saw the camera coming & his pose is historically accurate.

It’s the minority thing nailed & though totally unspooky, must get marks for seasoning the event with such diversity & class.

Alien Victim.

This is effort on a grand scale. She’s started right out of the rule book, by sorting out the bloody eye socket, we’ve all come to know & love. Half a Zombie arm pose into the bargain & a fantastic splatter of pre-sternal neck blood, the colouration of which is 100% on it.

Then to cap it all off, a proper little Alien Spacestation Badge on her sleeve, to accompany what to the untrained eye, appears to be a rather handsome penis, packing a considerable bite… Obviously, you horror experts can all easily identify this as actually an alien life force, bursting forth from her freshly ruptured loin. Magical..!

Surely merits a full frontal… Ding - Dong…!!

Nuns on the Run.

Poor, shop bought twaddle. Nuns on the drink (& providing at least one further example of Ali G paw syndrome), more like.

Saucy Investigator.

A fantastic look for a proper minority character. Rarely seen, as all girls like to pretend Investigators don’t really exist, so that they can never be accused of being one. Saucy Investigator needs to tread very carefully here… She could so easily be drummed out of girls club for giving the game away… 

Striking terror into the hearts of all the boys, Saucy Investigator, has her magnifying glass & is guaranteed to use it, whilst stalking all your recent female facebook friends & thoroughly (& regularly) examining the inbox of your mobile telephone, prior to going in huff for the rest of the year… We’ve all known one, genuinely terrifying…

Mad Scientist.

That’s right, cover your ears, you already know what’s gonna come next… So we’ll keep it short & just give you the outline in three easy to follow stages.

Poor + lazy = character assassination. You do the maths…

Scary Fairy.

It’s a good pose, with excellent use of slightly bent knees, to imply a pre-lunge situation, adding both velocity & possibly height to the imminent clawing. Nice wings & point of note to all Zombies, if your blood isn’t the same colour as her nails, then you are a Vimto merchant…

Halloween Glam Girl.

Another strong contender for our electro-convulsive therapeutic correctional programme. When these costumes were first posted online, it was over 3 pages. Then, as now, Glamour over spookiness was not only a crime on page 1 & 2, it was also a crime on page 3, irrespective of it’s tabloid connotations. For next year Sweetness, get a bucket of raw liver, pour it over your hairdo, stick your arms out in front & say Whoooooooo…! There you go, simples.

I am a Mime.

This is a quality, French-type, mime pose but there’s absolutely nothing scary about it at all… If this was a mime competition, this would win, as it is not - Nil pwah.

All Bases Covered.

This is a great snap, uniting four disciplines of spookiness, Mummies, Daft Ears & Bit of Pen Cats, Low Budget Joke Shop Horn Devils & Corpse Brides. Special mention should go to Mummy, who appears solo, elsewhere in the competition, for once again, really nailing it with the eyes.

Captain Black.

A classic old school TV puppet villain, who appears to be being played this evening by the popular TV & radio light entertainer Paul O’ Grady…

No Eye Deer.

At first glance, we thought Turtle? Then we thought some sort of Harry Potter reject? Perhaps the comments section would be kind enough to enlighten us…?

Thanks to Zombie Masterclass 2011 (Zombie #68)  for telling us that this is apparently Link from Nintendos Zelda (whatever that means..?). If you are voting for her, she remains No Eye Deer.

An Idiot Abroad.

We named him that, so if by some remote chance he did actually come as Carl Pilkington, then his outfit potentially borders on genius.

Cereal Killer.

See what he did with the name there…? Here we see hirsute litte Jimmy, tragically wasting his lycanthropic gift from the Gods. Now that coulda been a genetic Werewolf costume to celebrate!

Lowest Possible Budget Riddler.

Fetch us a stick…  Fetch it now! We intend to hunt you down & administer the beating you so richly deserve, for this atrocious, not even half an effort…

The Riddler..? You haven’t even matched your green jacket & pants!  Where is your make up? Are we missing something..?

Is your pee pee shaped like a question mark & you whipped it out just after the camera flashed or something..?

Check the Riddler in last year’s competition - Now go & sit on the naughty step & have a proper think about what you’ve done…

Katie the Invincible.

Brace yourselves, we all know what happens next. Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie… Where shall we start? Smudged make up? Orange blood? Having a fag? None of these apparently essential components of your costume, are gonna score you points.

Katie, you must show commitment to spookiness, at all times, but especially at Halloween. You need to tighten it up, as in terms of your inner spookiness, on this occasion, you’ve let yourself go. Not a crime against Halloween, just a misdemeanor & we’d all like to see you come back stronger & with more dedication, application & presentation next time.

 

Minimum Effort Trio.

One bleeding eye socket, between three of you…?!!!  Poor.

 

Poison Ivy 1.

Ivy has got great, green facial make up that really sets off the red lips. It’s a really great look. The hair colouration is smack on the money & the only drawbacks are the lack of any justifiable Halloween pose & fact that the make up on her body isn’t as vibrant as that on her face. She also has a fag… sticking out of her ear - Spooky!

Poison Ivy 2.

That is a syrup of day-glo proportions! Ivy 2, whilst more vibrant colourwise, has let herself down with minimal facial make up & zero body make up. Whenever you rock a popular look at the party, you must always max every angle.

If you don’t, you can be sure someone else will & here in the Ivy category, as we’ve seen throughout the competition, you must never underestimate the opposition. Imagination, dedication & spookiness. These must be your doctrines.

Spook Technology.

Without doubt, the greatest hand claw posing skills this competition has ever seen go completely to waste, as these two vain little Spooks look at pictures of themselves on their own camera, rather than pay attention to their one opportunity to make a lasting mark on this competition.

A tragic waste of spook talent, that has genuinely upset us, when we think what could’ve been. Never was  there a finer claw etc. etc. She is the claw that got away…

Twisted Assassin.

Dunno if he’s off a movie or what? But he looks canny hire shop & is so obviously a mask that he compromises his own spook factor, by over guilding the lilly. Costumes from hire shops are the curse of Halloween, stifling genuine creativity & the true art of spookiness.

If you have little children in your family, make sure you impart this important information to them, so that by a process of education, breeding & evolution, we can eradicate this blight on our society forever.

The Joker 1.

Where is his syrup? It’s an essential part of the Heath Ledger - Joker legacy. Face make up wise, he’s strong & whilst he rocks an effective rubber glove vibe, we prefer Matron’s ( Zombie section #44).

The Joker 2.

Take 2 - This one’s got the syrup, but his make up simply isn’t strong enough & his neck (which we now intend to wring) is devoid of all make up. If he expects to win anything looking like that, he truly is a flippin’ Joker.

Wonder Woman.

Held her look well, even though she seemed slightly the worse for the drink in the queue, was very keen to get her pose on & then apparently fell asleep half way through…? Was quite tall too, so held it together in an Amazonian stylee, up until the snoring started…

Ronald McDonald.

At World Headquarters we hate McDonalds. We only just let a Zombie Ronald McDonald slip through the net last year & are not about to tolerate anything to do with him this year.

Call it harsh, but our lives & those of the animals & ecosystems with which, we share the planet, are shaped by the choices we make. F**k off Ronald.

N-Sync.

Ha! x.

The Hitcher 1.

Hitcher 1 has the obligatory syrup & all the essential elements of the look. He is however, totally upstaged by Zombie Charlie Chaplin in the background, who having got over not maximising his potential in his own photo, has now decided to really turn it on, spooking Hitcher right out of the park with a sinister cameo of the highest order.

The Hitcher 2.

It’s a classic underestimating the opposition job that we’ve had to mention so many times in this competition. Very weak make up, totally upstaged by his namesake above, who as we already know was in turn snookered by the boy Charlie. It’s been a bad year for Hitchers & could even see them slip forever from the competition.

Leg Cocking Male Nurse.

Does exactly what it says on the tin. You can just see the tip of what seems to be his pee pee, all purple, like a little randy poodle’s, peeping out there, just beneath his gusset…

Half a Hulk Costume.

We think he’s being the Hulk, but if he is where’s the torn pants..? He hasn’t got enough blood on him to qualify as Zombie Hulk & we all know Hulk is rock, so it’s not like he’s been chinned by someone & got some little wounds.

Overall this appears to be an ill conceived effort & a criminally wasted opportunity, to properly exhibit what looks as though it could just be a vagina chest wig, of some considerable merit…

The Lumberjack.

This is a great pose & his beard is working a treat for the Lumberjack vibe. He’s got a nice home made axe & with an investment in some fake blood, could’ve doubled his chances & thus his potential votes.

Tinkerbell.

Now this is a weird one because with both her face & her pose, she has absolutely nailed Tinkerbell. The angle of the head, the arms, the eyes & facial expression are all dead on it. A very simple look, with few components, really well executed. If we had to pick fault, it would only be with the recently used tampon that appears to be clagged on the side of her face… Otherwise, excellent.

Harry Botter.

We’ve taken the liberty of giving his name a public schoolboy remix, to accurately reflect what his character embodies…

Here he does actually look like the little, fictitious twerp, responsible in both his nonsense books & films, for promoting low standards of Witchery & numerous dilutions of & crimes against Halloween. As such, we just can’t bring ourselves to like this, or say anything positive about it.

Thus, this unfortunate contender is totally skuppered by choosing to emulate what we, here at World Headquarters, epicentre of spookiness in Newcastle, view as a Halloween traitor.

Hire Shop Spiderman.

He’s just not Halloween & the fact he’s put no effort into making his costume, will certainly serve to keep him out of the prize reckoning. All you Shop Bought Jimmies & Hire Shop Charlies should wise up & look to contenders like Die Pod & 5* Zip Girl to get an idea of just how much you need to up your game to get anywhere with this malarky.

Absolutlely Fabulous.

Pastiche of the 2 bints off the telly, not really zombified & looks like they’ve dipped their entire faces in the marching powder, before they clagged their lipstick on. This factor & the double actness of their groove, actually makes them quite good…

 

Oompa Loompa.

Half decent make up job, bar the hands. Not a lot to it really, half a job, needed to spray a lot more green in her hair to live up to the name.

Sweeney Todd.

Great look. Excellent hair, fantastic make up (neck included), always nice to see a cut throat razor, utilised as a weapon of terror. Very, very on point.

Wednesday Adams.

She’s captured the dourness of Wednesday to perfection & played the part well, keeping a dead pan face throughout her time in the queue. This made us wonder if she was perhaps just a weirdo, so when she said she was actually Wednesday Adams, we all heaved a sigh of relief.

Clark Kent.

Superman is not scary. Though we appreciate you are presenting your subject in mid-transformation, historically, this would require you constructing a small, cardboard phonebox & carting it round with you for the duration of the evening.

The fact you’ve cut corners & chosen not to do that, or be spooky, has undermined your chances of being seen as an innovative or serious contender.

Not Quite David Bowie.

Here we see David Bowie as the Gnome King from the movie Labyrinth. In the film he is fully, bona fide scary. Unfortunately, our friend here hasn’t stayed true to the script, or projected his spookiness to its full potential. She has also omitted to steal a baby & use dance magic on him…

 

Pulp Fiction Mini Corner.

Mrs Marcellis Wallis.

You all know the scene, John Travolta’s drug dealing pal whacks a syringe of adrenaline, through Uma Thurman’s breastplate. Nice choice, bit pink on the blood, but the passed out eyes work, even though she’s omitted all of the the snot & dribble, that was such a centrepiece of the movie scene.

The Gimp.

Sauce meets satan. Another good example, of a young lady wishing to incorporate sauce into her Halloween look, whilst also paying close attention the the requisite degree of spookiness. A well-balanced look.

Tragic Loser.

We gave him this name, prior to us working out that he was probably that Twilight Vampire guy off the telly. We had assumed his costume consisted of that little bat ring he’s got & some little kisses he’d drawn on himself. Apologies, you’ll get over it mate.

Hire Shop Captain America.

We believe this hire shop costume is best summed up in the words of  the truly innovative, influential & inspirational pop super group… Steps, in their cover version of that godawful BeeGees song…

Rod Stewart.

This is the art of the syrup taken to a whole new level… Rod Stewart is funny in real life so therefore he is a top target for a quality pastiche. Under normal circumstances, basing your entire costume around just a wig would be unacceptable, but the cheek, gall & endearing humour contained in this particular effort, gets him a pass.

Missed a couple of tricks, firstly by not pretending to be from Scotland - Cockney Rod always does that & secondly by not arriving with a small, new born, premature foetus on his arm, wearing a wedding ring.

The Headless Horseman.

Jesus! That is home made & unfortunately on first glance, quite terrible… Not a horse in sight & you can see her own actual head, peeping out from under the binbag. We do like the head she is carrying though & her fake neck wound & bow tie…

This is so home made it could just be be a grower mind… It’s so DIY & just so unashamedly pants!

Columbo.

Recently deceased, Peter Falk, would be pleased to know that he is now, in death, an official World Headquarters Halloween competition character.

Though great to see, we have to point out that this costume has not been properly executed, as there are no signs of Zombiedom & we all know that ruffled old Columbo would never dress that smart.

Still a refreshing addition to the pallette, we would hope to see it reconceived, with a little more historical accuracy next time round.

The Boy Shrek.

Looks like Shrek, gotta give him that, but it’s a joke shop job innit & while not devoid of merit, scores no points for either imagination or creativity.

 

Frida Kahlo.

Ha ha! Love it, he really has pulled one out of the bag here. This is minority costume application at its very finest. Granted she’s dead & he hasn’t zombified her but she’s such an obscure choice, he’s got it locked.

The tash thing is simply so hilarious, it’s hard to believe that none of you boys have ever tried this before. One of the most original choices of subject matter in the whole competition & a really  great look to see represented.

Well done mate, switched on art students all over the city are clapping their hands.

Saucy (if a bit low budget), Pirate.

No one is questioning either her H, or her P, but is her costume actually spooky..? We think not. Were it not for the little anchor pendant this would be what is commonly know on the yard arm as a non starter. Now if only she had been a lad… called Jim.

Lady Gaga.

Ha! She’s nailed it. Lady Gaga is easy to do ‘cos we all know she’ll wear anything. Still, the cans of pop in her hair are hilarious & it’s a confident, assured pose that we like a lot. Proof that to be your look - you gotta own your look.

Gollum.

He’s got his pose smack on & it’s one of the more striking photos we’ve had this year. However, it is just a mask & with competition this fierce & so many people having made such a massive effort, it’s hard to see his peers putting him up on the winners rostrum. Nice fist, though again somehow conjuring up mental images of Matron ( Zombie section #44).

David Brent.

A ludicrous hire shop costume that does actually work & was really funny. Love the way he’s nailed that Ricky Gervais facial thing, but really needed to gain a few pounds to really DeNiro the role properly.

Breaking News… We have now held a Stewards enquiry as a result of recently posted comments that Ronnie the Dog has brought to our attention.

As a result of this, we are now able to officially confirm, that this outfit was home made & is not shop bought.

This raises it from the simply ludicrous, to the home made & simply ludicrous, surely adding value in both the vote & devotion to chattiness departments.

 

Gazza.

We all remember the classic Moatie stand off & the outstanding telephone interview that Gazza gave to a local radio station…? Here is Gazza with his negotiational offerings. Unfortunately, despite the laugh out loud humour of this idea, he’s missed a couple of tricks.

The chicken should’ve been cooked (& for historical accuracy from KFC) & he’s missing a can of lager. The can of lager is essential, as it was that, mentioned at the end of his speech, which propelled the whole radio interview into comedic hyperspace. A great effort though, really, really funny on the night & certainly one we’ll doubtless see again over the years.

Carrie.

Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. This is proof that by correctly choosing your subject matter, you can do really well in this competition. Here Carrie actually does look a little bit ilk of Sissy Spacek, like she could be a distant cousin or something. She’s used this to her advantage, in picking the classic, tragic prom Queen, as her muse.

You may or may not be familiar with the story, so to recap, Carrie is picked on in High School & ridiculed by her peers. She develops telekinetic powers & after having pigs blood tipped on her head at the Prom, by her so called freinds, wreaks a bloody & brutal revenge.

Can you get more spooky than that..? She’s a really old skool character & to revive her, with this degree of aptitude is a Halloween triumph, make no mistake.

Proof once again, at World Headquarters, you participate in the greatest of all Halloween costume competitions. Let’s hear it for diverse, minority, old skool, spookiness!

Bath Lady.

It’s fancy dress, but it’s not officially spooky until you’re over the age of 65.

Keith Lemon.

Cult leader of the vagina chest wig (ginger division), Keith Lemon is a great choice. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the leopard tooth pendant, which is his trade mark & is slightly lacking in fake tan. Also the fact that her whole costume basically consists of a fairly standard syrup & a ginger chest mirkin, means it’s doubtful that she’ll hit the heights in the vote department. Still a funny one though & the hands are on it.

Vito Corleone.

Certainly working nicely on his chin, his assured pose is undermined by the fact that there’s not enough of him. Vito was much heavier set, but we suppose you can only work with what Nature gives you.  The eyebrow/mouth scrunch ratio is good.

The Demon.

So often, we see a natural born Werewolf (check those arms), wasting a genuine naked posing opportunity, on shop bought twaddle. There are much, much better masks on sale in this city than that. Spookyish, but low budget with it. Please play to your hairy little frame next time.

Almost Jimmy Saville.

He’s not meant to be Jimmy Saville at all & we dunno who he is meant to be, but the fact he looks uncannily like him certainly in terms of syrup, brings a tear to our eye. With dear Jimmy sadly passing around Halloween time, a tracksuit & minimal Zombification, could’ve lifted this young chap to the very apex of the topicality stakes. Chance missed.

Braveheart.

Nice bruised looking head, but his filofax (or whatever that is there in his paw) lifts him right off the battlefield & plonks him straight into the new Waitrose on Osborne Road.

Nice try though & judging from his clenched fist, he too is hoping to bump into Matron (Zombie section #44) & seems well able to clearly demonstrate precisely what service he wishes her to administer…

Shit Robot.

And not a lot more. Home made? Yes. Good enough? No.

He’s now been in touch via the comment section crying that he is the LMFAO Shuffle Robot & everyone knows who he is - Really..? Missing a gold suit if that is the case, but thankfully not as totally pants as we first thought. Wonder if he did the dance…

 

 

Multiple Disciplines….

In decending order, the categories featured in the Multiple Discipline section are…

Brides - Beetle Juicers - Devils - Witches - Swans - Red R Hoods - Clockwork Oranges - Medusas - Furry Mirkins - Scarecrows - Marilyns - Prom Queens - Vampires Spiderwomen - Skeletons - Egyptians - Cruellas - Cave Women - Scooby Doo - Amy Winehouse - Alice in Wonderland - Clowns - Bat/Cat women - Ed Scissorhands - Marie Antoinettes - Ninja Turtles - Mummy

Brides, Corpse & otherwise…

The bride category is always popular, as the idea of an innocent, preferably virgin bride, struck down in the prime of her life, has a special Halloween ring to it. Frankenstein had one, so did Drac & you can’t argue with the top boys.

Bride 1. Bride of Fagin.

Here we see a classic example, with quality sunken eyes & a cool dress, let down somewhat by the little ’oliver twist’ booties she has on there.

Bride 2. Mixed up Bride. 

Bit of a mash up of styles here… We all know purple is officially a witches colour, so the wig doesn’t really go. The bloodwork is fading a bit too & though the palms of the hands are strong & the bodily pose quite tight, the face is a little too happy for the true spookiness of Halloween. Dog’s dinner job.

Bride 3. Stare Bride.

This is more like it… Still not addressing every element, but a good overall effort. Not sure about the fag, kinda detracts from the whole dead thing she’s trying to go for, but she’s well in the zone spook wise & the eyes work bigtime.

Bride 4. Neckless Bride.

Make up that stops on your neck…? No wonder you are horrified! Good dress, good hair, great sunken eyes, excellent dress clutching pose, all ruined by lack of make up on neck & cleave area. Can & must do better.

Bride 5. The Corpse Minidress.

Nice vulnerable pose, great eyebrow tilt, obligatory veil - you girls above can all learn from this little look. Still needs more make up on that neck though, as like Bride 4, this lets the side down there. Nice yearn in the eyes.

Bride 6. Blue Hair Bride.

We are now entering the quality end of the bridal market. Excellent overall pallor, eyebrow tilt, no veil, but we are hoping it’s attached to the flower arrangement on her hair & out of sight down her back. Top pout & overall a good turn.

Bride 7. Grannies dress Bride.

Quality! Loving the little stoop she has going on there. She told us in the queue that she was wearing her Gran’s actual wedding dress, which is a quality touch especially considering her topical granny stoop. Needs a little more make up on her heed, but the strength of her pristine white syrup carries it off for her. An excellent effort, topped off with a quality bloodshot stare.

Bride 8. The Dark Bride.

In contrast to all the other white clad ones, the dark Bride seems quite cheery. That could be because she may not actually be a virgin, like all the Corpse ones have to be.

Or perhaps she isn’t really getting married at all, so isn’t anxious about giving up both her identity &  independence to a lame, out of date institution, that in the long term will only make her miserable & mean she gets no sex… Who can say..?

She rocks a cool look though & that Halloween claw is right on point. Nice veil too.

Bride 9. Zombie Bride.

She has the lot here… She’s stayed within the genre, but stepped outside of convention & made this look her own. Fantastic ‘puppet string’ zombie arm pose action & a really great make up job with high octane sunken eyes, with one socket bleeding. Slashed throat, cut head, black eyes, ouch! She went out fighting on her wedding day for sure!

Real class & that’s before you see that she’s even gone for witches tights! A top quality rework of the entire Halloween staple that is the bridal groove. Top marks! Also one of the most effective contact lens rocks of the competition. Vacant..!

 

Beetle Juicers….

BJ 1.  Limp hair Beetle Juice.

Mate, what happened with the hair..? See your Mrs & her pal below… Have you actually seen the movie..? Great stare, but you cannot seriously rock that pitious level of hair do, accompanied by what amounts to barely half a pose, in this standard of competition. You look like Marilyn Manson, on a Saturday afternoon at the match…

BJ 2. Mrs Beetle Juice.

Fantastic hair & pose. Others in this contest would do well to take a leaf out of your book.

BJ 3. Liverpuddlian Beetle Juice.

He’s got the hair right, but the scousers ‘calm down’ hands are all wrong. You need to take a bit more notice of  your Missus mate & sort your pose out.

 

The Devils… Ah, how we love the Devils, always a category that hits the spot & demands respect! The Devil is the very apex of spookiness & is always a great privilege to see in the Club on Halloween.

Devil 1. Lady Devil.

Pose could have been tighter & missing any real scowl. Tail nicely on display, though not high quality enough to negate the fluffy horns… The Devil - with fluffy little featherie horns…?  That Madame, is a crime against Halloween.

Devil 2. Glam Devil.

The glam thing always gets to the ladies on Halloween. Many can’t decide whether to actually be spooky, or use it as an excuse to be glam & saucy instead. Glam Devil has taken the latter route & thus is rocking a nice appealing look, that shall however, earn her no points. How many times do we have to tell you people…? Spookiness before glamour at all times. We’re afraid you’ll have to go in the book… for a very large electric shock.

Devil 3. Posie Devil.

Great stance, somewhat undermined by lack of trident, lack of red paint & horns from that daft Magic Box shop on Percy Street. Carrie laughs in the background, drenched in pig’s blood,  knowing she is well safe in the originality stakes…

Devil 4. Handsome Devil.

An accomplished pose & the bravery of an all over romper suit. You wonder if it’s so hot in hell, his wee wee just evaporates..? Championship scowl, amazing genetic head shape, let down by shite, crappy, shop bought trident.

Devil 5. Copycat Devil.

Hang on a minute… This dude has the exactly same romper suit & trident as Devil 4 above..! What is this…?! Some kinda ’boil in the bag’ Devil action!!? Both of you should be ashamed & begin whittling original & individual tridents for next year, out of a log you find deep in the woods.

‘Shame on you! Twaddle! Rubbish! etc etc.’ (that is what your peers are shouting at their computer screens, as they look at you, right now).

Outfit duplication is a crime against Halloween & topically, here at World Headquarters, the global epicentre of Halloween spookiness, we sincerely hope you both burn in Hell…

Devil 6. Original Devil.

No horns… no trident… no tail… but what a look! Original Devil is exactly that. An amazing pose, could even be pose of the competition! Given the limited elements to his look, the fact that he totally gets away with it & pulls it all off, smashing this category with such aplomb - is a miracle of biblical proportions.

This man is a credit to Halloween & unlike those shop bought devil chancers 4 & 5, he does not need your sympathy… (see what we did there music lovers…? Ha!)

 

The Witches….

Witches, like Devils are an essential element of the Halloween landscape. There are rules to witchery & here at World Headquarters we try to encourage correct Witch costume application. Therefore, we will be more critical of this, than any other category.

We only do this purely for your benefit, as Spookiness & Witchery, just like Voodoo & Juju, matter… & because they matter, they must never be compromised.

Welcome to our 2011 Witch Correction Programme…

Witch 1. Zombie Witch.

Her blood & wounds identify her as a Zombie but without her pointy hat, she’s on a hiding to nothing. One mark for the pose, no marks for forgetting your essential kit.

Witch 2. Tracey Emin Witch Lookalike.

Bearing a slight, sultry resemblance, to a famous artist who likes a bit of slap & tickle in a tent, cannot be allowed to get you off the hook for not having a buckle on your hat. What were you thinking..?! This is basic Witchery & you must study harder & resit next year. Stripey tights as well love, play the game.

Witch 3. Wicked Witch of Finland.

It might be alright in Finland, Petal, but in World Headquarters our Witches have buckles on their hats. Also complexion wise, you need work. Little bit too glowing with the skin tones, so you need to seriously question your diet, if you are going to make a career in the dark arts. It’s eye of newt, leg of toad & tongue of rat…

Not that macrobiotic, healthy, vitamin filled nonsense that you’ve obviously been wasting all of our time with. While you’re at it sweetie, try & cop yourself a coupla warts.

Witch 4. Westside Witch.

Witches are not ‘a bit Hip Hop’. Halloween is in no way related to Hip Hop. Witches are supposed to claw at you, not make Ali G type hand gestures…

This behaviour is totally unacceptable & coupled with the fact that you too, have ignored the basic discipline of a silver hat buckle, amounts to a disgrace. All the points you’ve scored for use of the colour purple (the official colour of Witchery), use of the colour green on your syrup (another staple in the Witches pallette) & your obligatory stripey Witch tights come to nothing…

So stop pissing around. Get a buckle, put it on your hat, straighten your bliddy fingers out into a claw like gesture & start thinking about transport… All you lame Witches need bringing into line. This is World Headquarters & what’s right is right.

Witch 5. Pink Hat Witch.

Purple, purple, purple, purple, PURPLE!! What is wrong with you woman..?!! Why are you carrying a kiddies wand & wearing a pink lined hat? Pink & Christmas cracker wands have no place on Halloween whatsoever & unless you are the Tooth Fairy & you have fallen in a pot of ink, your costume is an insult to Halloween. Turn up in this garb next year & you are going straight on the fire…

Witch 6. Slap ‘n’ Tickle Witch.

We are supposed to be spooking people here… Turn down the sauce hinny, turn up the spook factor & (must we repeat ourselves..?) get a bliddy hat buckle!

You are redeemed slightly by your shiny, black Doc Martins, which (in the abscence of ruby slippers…) are a quality Witching touch, but could you please put purple laces in them next time?

Witch 7. Slap ‘n’ Tickle Witch, the Return. 

Another case of sauce over spookiness. We are not looking for pouts from our Witches. We are looking for spookiness. The idea of a tiny Witch hat, worn as more of a decoration than a working titfer, is not in the true sprit of Halloween.

Your pointy hat is supposed to provide you an aerodynamic advantage & vital stabilisation, whilst proceeding through the night sky on your broomstick. Broomstick safety is not a joke, unlike your hat, which let’s face it, you’re never gonna get a buckle to fit anyway. 

You’ve not only let yourself down, you’ve let Halloween & the cult of spookiness in general down too. Take note of the commitment shown by the last Witch in this category & then seriously reconsider your career path.

Witch 8. Bee Witched.

Clever play on words with the name of her costume, given her bee-like,stripey tights. They’re a winner unlike her use of white material elsewhere on her outfit, with which she has corrupted the very soul of Witchery. Witches Pay Attention…!! Purple, black, green, dark blue, red shoes - Full Stop.

Witch 9. More of a Warlockess.

She gets away with no hat, no buckle & no broomstick, with an original & striking take on the Witchy genre. More of a true female Wizard, her confident look & excellent work with the big collar, is a credit to Halloween.

Ah… The vodka’s kicked in now & the eyes are closing. Luckily, her arm akimbo, Fumanchu sleeve saves the day…

Witch 10. Almost There Witch.

Virtually every element is here… Stripey tights, black dress, spooky claw pose, plenty purple, touch of green, (at least an attempt of)  hat buckle, but even with all this she lets herself down by failing to attend to the basics… No Broomstick!! She was so, so close…

Witch 11. Wicked Witch of the East.

It’s a classic & original look. Obviously a home made costume, which is within the true spirit of Halloween & the ruby slippers are a connoisseur touch. Bit of a shame that with such a fantastically original idea of rocking a house on her head, she’s let herself down with low budget green make up & lack of house detail.

Next year we hope to see a little battery pack in there with the windows lighting up, cloth curtains & perhaps even a little satellite dish, to bring it all neatly up to date. Still among the most original costumes this year. With a little more application to spookiness, makeup & house detail this could have finish line potential.

Witch 12. Ashleigh The One Element Witch.

That element is purple & that alone does not a Witch make, nor does Ashleigh’s half-baked claw qualify as a spooky pose.  Sorry Ashleigh, but you have no chance of finishing in the top 300 with this tragic, unaccessorised, lack lustre effort. For your own good, we’ve put you down in the secret, naughty book & we all know what that means….

 

Witch 13. One Element Witch Chapter Two.

Poor, poor poor, poor, poor! Must we list all the essential Witch elements you are missing..? No we shall not. Having read this category over, you should be well aware by now of what is required & just how shoddy your lame get up is.

A black dress on it’s own, is just a black dress on it’s own… It’s not a witches outfit. Ashleigh has just gone in the naughty book… You want that to happen to you too..? We will be watching you closely next year & if you do not improve your Witchery, you are straight on the Ducking Stool - No arguments!

Witch 14. Bella Trix.

Apparently one of Harry Potter’s gang & part of the new fangled, child-friendly modern day witchery - that we so despise…

The updating of classic Witchery is something here at World Headquarters, we will quite simply never, ever endorse. This is a fairly accurate portayal of her, as she doesn’t have a hat in the movies, which in our book makes her an imposter. Sorry, but you picked the wrong witch sweetie & as a consequence, we shall have to burn you alive…

Witch 15. The Green Witch. 

Now, at long last, we are in back in business. Fantastic green full body make up, text book pose inc. genuine Witches’ claws &  the merest glimpse of stripey tight, makes for near perfection in the Witching game.

The fact that she hasn’t got a hat buckle is going to be overlooked, on this one occasion. She has a little broomstick tucked under her arm there & her overall look is virtually faultless. All the Witches above should take note. This is the level of Witchery excellence, at which you must compete to be a winner in this, the most competitive of Witching arenas. Soak up that look, then see the next amazing photo below…

It’s a masterclass in grade A Witchery. Witch 15 when we next bump into you, you shall be awarded with a complimentary hat buckle courtesy of WHQ. Simply outstanding!

 

Assorted Black & White Swans…

The swan thing has kicked off big time this year from out of nowhere, due to that movie about the deranged missus that dances about.

Swans 1. & 2. Friendly Swans. 

Nice Swans, but doesn’t this genre demand a bit of ballet & a crazed stare..?

Swan 3. Glamorous Swan.

Again, very nice Black Swan, but no ballet, or look of demented radgeness is apparent in her confident & classy presentation.

Swan 4. Swan in a Parking Bay.

She’s got the ballet, she’s got the eye makeup, but sadly, she’s just not deranged. Where is the spookfactor..?

Swan 5. The Cheating Swan.

The ballet is there, but it appears to be being assisted by a member of the general public. In the true world of swans, such an infraction would be met with a swift peck on the neck. She’s a bit too happy as well. Is this category ever going to deliver the nervous breakdown we so desperately require?

Ha! Seems like we’ve got it with fans of this girl now sounding at the start of the the comment section below… Humour, sense of…remember..?

Swan 6. Swan on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. 

Trying real hard, but looks like she’s acting kinda mad, rather than being mad. A valiant attempt that falls at the last.

Swan 7. Top Swan.  

Check her out, there’s your thousand yard stare, right there. Proper radge pot! It’s a tight face, with the right eye makeup & what a Halloween triumph the blood on her wing tips makes! Our strongest Swan, given the spooky context, in which we operate. Totally owing her look. All other Swans take note…

 

Little Red Riding Hoods…

A contemporary children’s classic, which now accepted as a  Halloween genre, has evolved it’s own individual rules around detail, content, accessories & commitment.

Red Riding Hood 1. Just a Hood.

Rule of thumb with any Halloween costume is that if you only have one element, you have to have real commitment to carry it off (see Devil 6 above).

Unfortunately, for our red-lipped friend, she is missing a basket for Grandma & any element of spookiness. You must try to take your costume further next year sweetie & reaffirm your inner resolve to pursue spookiness in a truthful & thorough manner.

Red Riding Hood 2. Pinky.

This is Little Pink Riding Hood, so despite her having brought Grandma’s basket, she has not stayed true to the fundamental requirements of the role. The clue is in the name…

Red Riding Hood 3. Little Dead Riding Hood. 

A great play on words with her costume title & a full on, bright red hood, come bonnet type cloak affair, that puts her smack in the zone. The zombification of her chosen subject falls well within the remit of Halloween & she is to be praised for both her imagination & application. Handbag should be a basket - But this is a bit more like it.

Red Riding Hood 4. Bang on Red Riding Hood.

This is an excellent effort. Grandma’s basket is a proper weave, the blood red cloak & the wood-chopper’s hatchet for cutting off the wolf’s head, all combine in a functional & historically correct pose. Halloween costumerie at it’s very finest. Loving the blood on the axe, as it removes the initial threat & implies that choppery is already well under way & with a smile too!

Had she brought a friend to stand beside her, dressed as a Grannie in a nightgown & covered in what appeared to be digestive juices… This competiton could have been over! Top marks that girl!!

 

Clockwork Oranges….

Always a difficult genre to nail, Clockwork Oranges appear every year, with varying degrees of success. Not a Halloween staple, so we can afford to be a little looser in our enforcement of Halloween values within this category.

1. Clockwork Orange - Lack of Menace.

We aren’t really very scared of her & it’s a shame as the look with the cane & all, is nice & tight. Not sure the heels are appropriate..?  But having been so hard on all the witches, we’ll go easy on her.

2. Clockwork Orange - A Bit More Like It.

That’s more the ticket, arrogant swagger & proper boots. Good work.

3. Clockwork Orange - Panty boy.

As above, but it appears he’s taken it a bit further & actually brought some oranges with him, down his pants..?

4. Tupp’ny, Elastic Band-Powered Satsuma…

This is a lame effort by anyones standards, thus the name we’ve decided to give her.

Which accurately reflects her complete costume ineptitude.

 

 

 

Medusas… Historically, stares & snakes a good Medusa make…

Medusa 1.  Thrupp’ny Mix Medusa.

A quality scowl - but snakes made from Haribo jelly worms… Really?

Medusa 2.  All Night Garage Medusa.

Slight raise in snake quality, but still under tuppence each from the all night Garage. Looks too sweet & demonstrates a complete lack of stone turning stare…

Medusa 3. Toga Party Medusa.

Got the snakes right at last, nice & erect, with a bit of life to them. On with the stare & claw, not quite sure about the white toga bit though… Always thought Medusa was a more sinister character? As always only you, the voters can decide.

 

Furry Mirkin department…

Now we all know what a mirkin is right…? A neat little furry pubic wig that mad american ladies wear, well it seems that this year the boys are getting into it too!

Fur Mirkin 1.

Here we see Teal Griffin, the famous artist, with a low budget attempt at a mirkin scrawled onto his chest.

Fur Mirkin 2.

Here we have a chap who has gone to a substantial effort to rock a quite fetching zombie vibe, only to have it overshadowed by what can only be described as a vagina wig, smack in the middle of his chest…

Why he even bothered getting made up, when he could simply have rocked that natural 70’s style, hairy growler he has on his cleave there, is beyond us. Wolfman costume next year mate, just come butt naked.

 

Scarecrows… Never many, but always a few, Scarecrows are a good costume idea as not many people do them & less people do them well.

Scarecrow 1. Orange face.

He’s kept it simple & seems to be crossing it with a kinda old skool french farmer type groove. Points lost for lack of neck make up.

Scarecrow 2. Staring Scarecrow.

It’s a great pose, embracing & projecting the stiffness of the straw, whilst managing to hold down a strong element of spookiness. Using yellow crepe paper, instead of real straw must however, lose him marks - Bad call.

Scarecrow 3. The Scarecrow Street Gang.

This we really, really like. Proper straw, nice mix of gender in the gang & a cool execution, as obviously anything scary - will always be scarier if there’s a gang of them.

Real airs of both distance & menace in the poses & as a group shot, it’s up there with this years best, in terms of compositon, depth & spook factor. We’ll be watching the voting on this one, as that there readers, is true, proper spookiness & what this competition is all about.

 

Marilyns…

Marilyn 1. Classic Norma Jean.

Yup you can’t argue she’s nailed the look. But you also have to agree the hair’s a bit candy floss & it’s not in the slightest bit spookified.

Marilyn 2. Zombie Norma Jean.

That’s smack on the money & it’s Halloween magnificence tonks the boottocks of the contender above. In terms of topicality, given the occasion, this is the dopest Marilyn you could possibly wish for.

The blood work around the lips, indicating a zombie who has recently fed, is a quite simply a masterwork. Very, very high quality & very very well done to that young lady.

 

Prom / Pageant Queens… This was a massive category last year that has shrunk somewhat this year under a glut of Black Swans & Corpse Brides. A horror classic, everyone can enjoy a properly butchered prom Queen & they are the very lifes blood of the Halloween festivities.

Prom Queen 1. Prom in the Pink.  

Bit short on the blood here, we prefer our prom queens with a little bit of entrail on the go. None the less a good effort & points must be given for the lopsided head, which as we all know, is a classic slashed throat consequence.

Prom Queen 2. Prom Sneerer.

Liking her sneer & let’s face it, bleeding eyes equal points in this game. Still not really enough blood splattered around for our tastes & at least one of the hands should have been raised & her throat cut.

Prom queens 3 & 4. Miss Infinity & Miss High Heaton.

We know them both in real life & they are not prom queens at all, they are actually a couple of irritating little witches, so we don’t know what they are playing at here..? Ha!

Prom Queen 5 & Zombie Granny.

Prom queen 5 here on the left, has got the blood thing properly organised & is to be commended. Looks like Cereal Killer in the background is about to crock her some more..?  Zombie Granny is hitting a cool pose here too alongside her & the little green hatchet is a cute touch.

 

Vampires… are a bit like witches, you gotta mark them hard as they are a cornerstone of Halloween culture.

Vampire 1. Bin Liner Cape.

Not sure a bin liner cape can be allowed for a Vampire at this, the upper level of spook conflict. Think lush velvets, with blood red or deep purple linings… We are all for DIY at Halloween, but a bin liner cape for a Vampire, is like putting a Burberry charver cap on Nelson Mandela from where we are sitting. See Vampire 6  for cape tips below. Also where are the teeth..? Spookiness must be taken seriously!

Vampire 2. Lame Duck Vampire who secretly wanted to be a Witch.

Pet lamb, it’s simply not good enough… Think about it, to be a Vampire you are missing (at the bear minimum) just a cape & some pointy teeth…

The amount of vital equipment you are missing to be a Witch…? Please don’t get us started on all that again!

Just put the chopstick down.. put it down… We all know you harbour Witch aspirations, but we have transfered you into this category for your own good. Please accept our spook instruction, we know what we are on about & what is in your best interests.

You pal, are simply not cut out to be a Witch. Yes, there could be lots of reasons, but let’s be kind & just say that perhaps you are too nice a person..? Regardless, that effort you are making there, with your bit chopstick, is pitious…

Hang around & we’ll sort you some pointy gnashers out, a red lined cape & you can be on your way. Witching is outside your capabilities. This is your new category & your destiny is now to be a Vampire.

You’ll be thanking us next Halloween & we’d rather you thought of it as a simple career change, rather than a full blown intervention.

Vampires 3, 4 & 5. Vampire Triplets.

Slightly overexposed photo due to the spookiness of Halloween. All three ladies are tres vampish, but must lose marks for not flashing their pointy teeth. Three nice sets of lips though & the suggestion of blood is there with all of them, so we won’t grumble too much. Wish we’d got a better shot so apologies all round.

Vampire 6. Irish Looking Vampire.

She’s got the flame red hair thing locked & it counterbalances the face make up well, but once again, where’s the pointy teeth..?

Vampire 6. Draculina.

There’s a proper vampire cape for ya. Nice red lining, good bodice centric stance with arms akimbo. She’s still not giving it the pointed toothed sneer that we all know this degree of competitive endevour demands though. A near miss…

Vampire 7. Drac’s Mrs.

Fantastic makeup work here, from her indoors. Good cape & eyes too. If fact we have only three real grumbles, which we’d hope she can accept as constructive critisism…

You shoulda fetched the hubby with you for a couple shot & you aren’t rocking your teeth. Also given the exemplary quality of your Be-ro, two little red puncture wounds on the neck wouldn’t have gone amiss & would have really set you right off.

As you well know we’re not one’s to nit pick, but when it comes down to spookiness - what’s right is right.

Vampire 8. Perfect Fangs.

It’s on! It’s on.!! It’s on..!!! Check out the fangs on this little madame! Excellent. They look like her own teeth & with her pale look & dark eyes, she exudes the requisite vampish charm required to make others give in & wanna join the gang. This is a really acomplished Vampire realisation. Absoutely top of the class! 

Vampire 9. Wonky Teeth.

Hee hee hee! Lordy, & just when it was all starting to go so well.. Hilarious! Class hand gesture, but dearie me, put your gnashers in straight love! An opportunity missed if ever we saw one…

Vampire 10. Sinister Drac.

This dude was a class act. Doesn’t just look real spooky, he came accross all spooky on the night too. A true craftsman, check those eyes…

 

Spiders… This one of those categories that you can take as far as you want, as demonstrated by this years varied spider crop below.

Spider 1. Kinda Vampish Spiderwoman.

Happy go lucky & rocking her pose, but unfortunately lacking we feel, in both spook factor & accesories to win big this year.

Spider 2. Charlottes Web.

Nice stance, fab gown & cool spider skullcap. Getting there but short on some legs…

Spider 3. Blonde Spider Girl.

This is a top effort, with all legs apparently in place & puppetry skills to move them around. Has regretably made a schoolgirl error though & not counted her own actual two legs in with her costume…

This has meant she’s ended up with ten legs which as we all know is not within the strict Halloween guidelines to which we must adhere. Standards need to be maintained & an urgent dual amputation is required.

Spider 4. Correctly Legged Spider.

As above, but constucted with the benefit of a calculator. Simple home made costume, with accurate mathematical application.

Spider 5. Adrianne the Pants Spider.

This is Adrianne. Her spider costume appears to consist of her, with a spider drawn in biro on her face, making some kind of attempt at Peter Crouch robotic dancing, in order to conceal the fact she has not bothered to add any legs… tres, tres,  poor.

 

Skeletons… Skeletons are another building block of Halloween Culture & must be respected. This not however, always the case…

Skeleton 1. Baseball Boot Skeleton.

Surely he could have made a coupla little black spat type thingys with bones on to cover his shoes? Marks for blank staring expression, but loss of marks for lack of dedication in the foot dept.

Skeleton 2. Fast Food Skeleton.

He’s looking a bit too happy & well fed to be dead & his suit is a little ill fitting & too big. What we are looking for is the effect of death & bones, not chips.

Skeleton 3. Worst of the bunch.

Growling will not save him as his look is weak, devoid of make up & made even weaker by his little hoodie his Mam made him wear, to keep out the cold.

Skeleton 4. Skelly.

He’s got a good mean look on here, kinda reminiscent of the Hulk. Coincidentally, he also has some little green bones in his hands there…

Skeleton 5. Glam Skeleton.

It’s a cool look positioned unashamedly on the glam side as opposed to the spooky. Doubt she can win any prizes for being scary, but she doesn’t look that bothered & that doesn’t really seem to be her vibe.

She seems a pleasant lady & as such, we reckon she’s probably more interested in steering clear of the young skeletons numbered 1,2 & 3 above.

Skeleton 6 & 7. Quality Facepaint Skeletons.

A great look on this couple. Not pissing about in daft bone suits, just crafting a proper Halloween make up groove. One of the best looks of the night & definitely a woman’s touch in there.

When you young skeletons numbered 1,2,& 3 above, eventually get girlfiends, you too can have your faces painted like this, get a proper Halloween groove on & possibly even have sex too, if you behave yourselves…

Skeleton 8. Disco Skeleton.

We like. She has taken the whole bone thing & shaped it in a new way. Great arm work on the pose & nice to see a little originality on a well worn genre. Obviously  a woman’s touch in here too & when you young skeletons numbered 1,2,& 3 above eventually get girlfiends, you too can have your faces painted like this, get a proper Halloween groove on & possibly…etc., etc.,  etc. ( loop to fade…)

 

Egyptians… This short category highlights clearly, the difference between making a concerted, original effort in the costume dept - or  just winging it…

Egyptian 1. Lame Egyptian.

A half arsed effort if ever there was one! For further context see next photo below…

Egyptian 2. Queen Tut.

Brilliant… Bit of imagination, a little effort at home & bingo -  She’s on it!!

 

Cruellas… Popular but not really truly spooky, unless you are a spotty dog.

Cruella 1. Cruella De Vodka.

A carefree Cruella with nice gloves. Lacking in evil perhaps, but she doesn’t seem to mind that, so we won’t either.

Cruella 2. Actually a Cruela?

We can’t be sure, but if she is then despite her spooky pose, her costume is lame. Think she may be some kinda spider woman? But then again if so, she’s well short on legs. Now voting has started, no doubt she’ll let us know who she is meant to be.

Cruella 3. Zombie Cruella.

Following the Halloween Handbook to the letter, here this young lady takes her chosen celeb & zombifies them. Nice bloodwork on both the chest & leg & surely must be strongest contender in her category. Great sneer too.

Red Ben.

This is Ben who works with us & shall be creating our next mural of Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul in the downstairs Club over the Xmas holidays.

Here he sports a ludicrous syrup & some kind of red blood colouration that is presenting similarly to really bad psoriasis.

 

 

Cave women… We only ever seem to see the two Flinstoneian choices, Betty & Willma. Can’t say we’ve ever seen a Raquel…

Cave woman 1. Betty. Despite the effort with the spooky pose this isn’t working at all in terms of spook factor. Nice bone in the hair but we’d be lying if we said we’ll see you at the finish line.

Cave Woman 2. Willma.

Far better use of the classic claw hand grip than Betty & with those natural posing skills, it’s such a shame you didn’t do Zombie Willma instead & get the tomato sauce out. Maybe next year.

 

Scooby Doo… An absolute spooky kid’s TV classic genre. Greatly undervalued, more please next year.

Scooby Doo 1. Daphne.

A quality rendition, if we had to nitpick perhaps slightly too curly on the hair? But that really is marking hard & we feel the birth of an exciting new category that can only grow & expand for next years competition. Well done!

Scooby Doo 2 & 3. Daphne & Shaggy.

Again any critisism can only be hair based, for Daphne slightly more wavey & for Shaggy some chin hair. Daphne is much more convincing than Shaggy is & he needs to address that, for the good of the whole team. He should pop down & have a little chat with Amy Winehouse 3, further below, to see what they can sort out…

 

Amy Winehousers…  No, you are mistaken - It’s not too soon.

Amy 1. Actual Amy.

This girl actually really looks a lot like Amy & has thus chosen her costume well. She has her tats right & the only quibble is that she is not zombified. The clash of the Marilyns earlier, taught us all a lesson in recognising the spook potential of dead celebs at Halloween.

Given her total nailing of the overall look, this was a criminally missed opportunity to zombie it up a little & actually have people in the Club wondering if she had risen from the grave.

Amy 2. Not Quite Amy.

Now she doesn’t look anything like her & is simply eating out on a nylon syrup. But, it’s Halloween & she has zombified her, so she gets points. Further illustrates the tragic waste of Zombie potential by Amy 1. above.

Amy 3. Kidding No One.

Ha! He’s well on it, but again, suprisingly no reference to death..? Is popping up & see Shaggy at Scooby Doo 3 above, to sort his chin out for him.

 

Alice in wonderland & chums…. Becoming more popular as a category each year, but beyond the LSD vibe of the original book we really can’t see why..? It’s important that we let voters know we don’t really dig the whole Alice thing & we don’t want our lack lusture commentary to stop you voting for costumes you like. So, we shall try to be enthusiastic, & impartial, even though we don’t really get it.

AIW 1. Alice & Rabbit.

Both accurate depictions but aside from Alice’s stare, a little light on abject terror.

AIW 2. Queen of Hearts.

Not the strongest Queen of hearts we have ever seen. Just basically a few cards, stuck on. But she seems very pleased with herself & looking forward to the party, so it’s all good.

AIW 3. Mad Hatter 1.

Looks a little depressed rather than mad, we do hope she cheered up! If we were her we’d play to our strengths & rock a Nancy Spungen groove next time.

AIW 4. Mad Hatter 2.

This seems to be a mix of Queen of hearts & Mad Hatter? Again we don’t really get it… We are old skool & like Zombies, Drac, Mummies & such like. You never know where you are with all this new fangled Alice in Wonderland palava.

 AIW 5 Mad Hatter 3.

Ok she has got the betting slip in her hat, we’ll give her that.

AIW 6. MadHatter 4.

The pose & general look make this a good take on the Johnny Depp incarnation.

AIW 7. Malice in Wonderland.

Cute costume name & at last some flippin’ blood!

AIW 8. The Whole Gang.

Slight air of spookiness here, but not all the gang seem to share the Hatter’s happy go lucky vibe, in fact the Queen of Hearts & the Rabbit look about ready to go at it!

 

Assorted Clowns… Delivered (in the main) with varing degrees of ineptitude…

Clown 1. Baggy Clown.

He has the basics, but a plastic flower lapel  badge would have been nice. Then again with him not having bothered with the obligatory big, long clown’s shoes, you can hardly expect subversive, clothing mounted water pistols. Bet his little car doesn’t even fall apart either…

Clown 2. The Spotty Clown.

Is she really meant to be a clown or has Buster mixed up the photos? She looks more like a Zombie baby in a romper suit to us. Anyway she is mean & genuinely looks as though given the chance, she would bite you, which is nice.

Clown 3. The Half Baked Clown.

Talk about half a job! his facial injuries are quite good, but his overall look & vibe are desperately shoddy. It’s a sad fact that face makeup alone, does not a clown make. 

Clown 4. Breast Clown.

He’s wearing a ’support breast cancer research’ t-shirt as part of his outfit. He’s also got a scary clown face & has his hands extended in a ‘can check you for lumps ladies..?’ kind of way. Add in his mad eyes in & you have to wonder if he is in fact an actual , real life, spelt correctly - Porvort…. & not just a dressie up one?

Clowns 5 & 6 The Clown Twins.

Best clowns of the night no question. A nice original take, proper face make up, matching suits, a bit of a gentle crimp & bob’s yer uncle. With the addition of bleeding eye sockets they have really hit the heights here. Top flavour!

 

Bat & Catwomen… a great genre for the less inhibited ladies who wish to balance their sauce with their inner spookiness.

Bat woman 1.

Great pose, saucy grin. She’s keeping it simple, but she’s owning it none the less.

Catwoman 1.

It’s that grey area between Gimp & Super Hero & she blurs it well. A PVC suit & a whip will aways have mass appeal & the gritted teeth show both dedication & enthusiasm, setting the look right off.

Batwoman 2.

Here, she’s added a little spookiness to the concept with her spiderwebbery & ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ stance. Nice touches.

Batwoman 3.

Brings it all back home with a nice spooky pose. The dress is really on too.

 

 

Edward Scissorhands… one of the smaller categories as it requires a fair bit of dedication to pull it off properly for the whole night.

Edward 1.

A great showing in the syrup dept, somewhat let down by one of the curses of the competition this year - incomplete neck make up. Otherwise, a tight look.

Edward 2.

By opting for the polo neck Eddie 2 has neatly swerved the curse & the expression here we think, coupled with the more home made feel of the getup,  just wings it over Eddie 1. What do you reckon..?

 

Marie Antoinettes…

Marie 1.

Fabulous dress! but neck in tact..? Are we at the same party…?

Marie 2.

Zombified & with the most divinely chopped throat. More like it !

 

The Ninja Turtles… not very spooky, but we do love them.

1. Ninja Gang.

Ninja turtles are always best delivered in gang. That’s just how they roll. This gang were tight & had 2/3’s of their masks exactly right. Pretty good show.

2. Solo Ninja Raphael.

Very home made, almost too home made & lacking in overall quality. Usually we alway prefer DIY costumes, but they must contain proper effort. It’s also not just what you wear, but how you carry it that counts.

Word reached us that your boy Raphael was being a little bit of a dick in the Club, once the booze took hold later in the night. Upsetting the ladies is something a real Ninja Turtle would never do, so he loses points for lack of authenticity. At this level or competitive endevour every little element counts.

It’s a shame ‘cos his pie case shell was a dope feature & he let himself down.

 

The Mummies…

Mummy 1. Fake Tan Mummy.

Good scowl & we appreciate it’s hot in the desert, but she’s a little light on the bandages we reckon. Great look & all that, but not the classic Mummy Halloween at this level of prize money demands.

Mummy 2. Bit Better.

But with the dual schoolboy errors of undergarment (no mummy wears underclothing) & blood coming from eye socket, he fails. Blood on chin & chest we can forgive as it may be someone elses if he has attacked someone.

Blood on eye socket however, whilst normally desirable at Halloween, is in this case impossible. Mummys don’t have blood that flows daftie, they have been dead to long.

 Mummy 3. Bloody Mummy.

Jesus! Claret all over this contender & only you, the voters can decide if it stems from an attack on another living being, or is a critical Halloween error (see above). Can’t say the handbag helps her case, but the hair is on & she is sporting some of the best bandaging in the whole category. It’s a really tough call & we think it’s probably best left to deadlock & the public vote.

 Mummy 4. Sneering Mummy.

His look is good & it’s also a good, if slightly unconventional mummy pose. The blood here could easily have come from another living being so we’ll let that go, but again the undergarments we simply cannot forgive.

 Mummy 5.  Classic Pose Mummy.

Timeless posing, quality sunken eyes & with any undergarments trussed up to look like bandages, she has this right on many levels. No blood at all, which is more points & if she must lose a point for the shoes, she claws it back with the spooky shadows she casts with her arm pose. A very strong contender in the classic Mummy tradition - top marks.

Mummy 6. Pants Mummy.

It’s not that he is pants, it’s just that he’s got them on..! His top half  & his rendition of the classic Mummy arm pose, is a masterclass in Mummydom & he throws it all away with his chino kecks. Why oh why..? Had he only gone a little further with it & sorted out his downstairs, he’d have been so up there.

Mummy 7. Mummy of Darkness.

Every now & then we get a weird snap & this is one of those snaps.. A totally classic Mummy, right down to the feet. The pose is a non Mummy one & is a bit more Greek thinker, but the spookiness of Halloween has entered the camera & messed up the light to create this amazing Mummy shot.  It’s a really great outfit & a nice spooky shot, but who is this..?

The Voting…

Phew! That’s it folks, the 2011 line up is complete. We do hope you have enjoyed the costumes, we are sure you’ll agree that 2011 is an exceptional vintage!