The World Headquarters Halloween Costume Competition 2011 - The Results.

Hi Chums, I am Ronnie the Dog & I have been in charge of adjudicating all the voting in this years competition. I also dish out many, many, prizes, as you shall see.

If you would like to comment on the winners, perhaps cry on about why you weren’t one of them..? Or just thank people for voting for you, please feel free to do so on the main Halloween 2011 page, a little further down in our ‘Stuff We like’ section, over on the right hand side of your screen, where the comment section remains open.

Firstly I’d like to thank you all for coming to the Club & supporting this & all the other mad events we have on. This has been a record breaker on all levels, with record entries, record voting & record comments coming in. Thanks so much for all your efforts to dress up, take part & make it what it is - The Greatest Halloween Costume Competiton that exists. 

All the results & prizes are further down this page. If you have won a prize, well done! If you E mail me on info@welovewhq.com we’ll arrange delivery of your exciting prizes.

All prizes will be given out next week & where possible, I, Ronnie the dog, shall deliver them in person x.

As usual, some naughty people didn’t stick to the rules on voting & either didn’t give their scores out of ten, or didn’t leave a comment. Therefore as promised, all posts that didn’t obey the clearly laid out rules on voting have been totally ignored.   

All the legitimate votes are in & counted & I am ready to announce the winners & prizes. First there are the Special Honourary  Awards & then the Voting Results…

The World Headquarters Halloween Costume Competition 2011 - The Awards.

There are 3 special honourary awards this year, decided by our invited panel of expert judges.

We have brought these awards in this year, to ensure that any costumes that voters may overlook, but which we think are fabulous, still get the recognition we feel they so richly deserve. All countdowns are in reverse order with Number 1. being the Winner.

First up we have…

Honourary Award No. 1 - ‘Best Make Up 2011′. This award is to honour the finest make up jobs of the year.

5. Original Devil. Presenting himself as a Devil without horns was always gonna be a stretch… but he pulled it off & his (apparently) all over make up was a joy to behold.

4. Mexican 5. Best of the Mexicans by a mile, the addition of the beadwork on her chin was a masterstroke & not just some really f**ked up spots, as one voters comment may have suggested.

3. Skeletons 6 & 7. Nice & intricate, but we felt lacking somewhat in base coat & coulda developed their mouths a little more… Still top notch though.

2. Clowns 5 & 6. Lovely…. The forlorn looks & the delicate bloodwork, inc. a rarely seen double twin eye socket bleed… Wonderful! Win tickets for New Years Eve as runners up in this award.

1. The Winners of ‘Best Make Up 2011′  winning two tickets to New years Eve & a WHQ Hoodie - are… 

The Avatars. Smack on the money, they really, really, stood out.

Next up we have…

Honourary Award No. 2 - ‘Best Bloodwork 2011′. 

There was much blood featured in the competiton this year. Unfortunately, most of it appeared to be Ribena or Vimto based, but these few costumes stood out in terms of haemoglobic colouration & realism…

5.  20’s Flapper Zombie. Only two slight wounds, but both with near perfect colouration. Not often the case with Halloween blood that less is more, but with this level of accuracy, she nailed it.

4.  Zombie John Lennon. Truly a cult figure after his now legendary appearance as Teen Adolf last year, this time his high point is that masterful facial wound… That is a really choice hole in the face my friend.

3.  Dead Wind up Doll. Stood out a mile in a sea of Vimto merchants. This lady gets 10 out if 10 for blood colouration. Just how we like it!

2. Zombie Norma Jean. Really good work here, contrasting her quality corpse noshing facial coagulation, with her platinum Blonde hair - yummy. Wins a ticket for New years Eve as runner up in this award.

The Winner of  ‘Best Bloodwork 2011′  who wins two tickets to New years Eve & a WHQ Hoodie -  is…

Leatherface. Quite simply, looks real & that’s what this game is all about. The sleeves are sublime…Well done that man!

 And now the last & most important award…

Honourary Award No. 3 - ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Award for an Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’.

With nearly 400 entrants this year it has been a bumper competition. With the whole commentary over on the Halloween 2011 page taking up to 2 hours to read, we wanted to be sure to bring to your attention on this far shorter results page, some of the spooky highlights of the year, kinda in a nutshell.

The Halloween 2011 full competiton page will be up on this site for ever, so there’s plenty of opportunities sometime when you unfortunately may break your leg / are stuck on a train / or whatever, to catch up & revisit it, in all it’s complete glory.

So as chosen by Ronnie the Dog, these are the top twenty contenders for this special & most prestigious award in 2011.

20. Matron. The red eyes, the pose, the prick that does you good, the rubber glove fisting connotation, etc etc.

19. Leg Cocking male Nurse. Proof that if you are gonna cock your leg, you need to make sure you have knob that looks like an excited dogs & you let the bugger hang…

18. Poison Ivy 1. The ability to smoke a fag with your own ear -  is bona fide spooky.

17.The Headless Horseman. Is actually a woman & sporting one of the most rubbish (or is it inspirational..?) costumes we have ever seen. What a bizzare effort!

16. Top Swan. Her deranged stare & bloodied hands thankfully took the Swan section, which had got a bit flouncie, right back into the true spookiness of Halloween.

15. Frida Kahlo. We pondered it’s merits as spooky & we feel it certainly is & moves things forward for future competitions with it’s total originality. Gets loads of votes further down too. True, genuine, originality is well within the both the spirit of Halloween & World HQ. Wins a New years Eve ticket for being in the top 15.

14. Bride 9. Zombie Bride. We loved that she took an updated look at the whole corpse bride genre. Plus the puppet type Halloween hand pose is hilarious! Wins a New years Eve ticket for being in the top 15.

13.  Witch 15. Her attention to detail totally smashed her category. No other Witch even came close. Pure benchmark Witchery. Wins a New years Eve ticket for being in the top 15.

12. Bang on Red Riding Hood. Wins a New years Eve ticket for being in the top 15.

We have taken the liberty of duplicating her write up from the Competiton page as voters seemed to completely ignore her. Maybe that was due to the size of the field this year (400 entrants, 2hr read through etc.) but we feel she certainly deserves recognition for taking RR Hood to the next level. Here is what we said about her…

This is an excellent effort. Grandma’s basket is a proper weave, the blood red cloak & the wood-chopper’s hatchet for cutting off the wolf’s head, all combine in a functional & historically correct pose. Halloween costumerie at it’s very finest. Loving the blood on the axe, as it removes the initial threat & implies that choppery is already well under way & with a smile too!

Had she brought a friend to stand beside her, dressed as a Grannie in a nightgown & covered in what appeared to be digestive juices… This competiton could have been over! Top marks that girl!!

11. Leatherface. The blood, the chainsaw (that made an actual chainsaw noise!) the face, etc etc. He’s already won Best Bloodwork 2011 & he is placed both here & in the Most Spooky category voting too. Clean sweep for the lad. Wins a New years Eve ticket for being in the top 15.

10. Cheery Pumpkin (on the right hand side).  Wins a Hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve for being in the top ten. A lady who can take a joke & surely one of the best sports in the whole competition, for not crying in the comment section about her harsh captioning on the Competition page, as duplicated here, below…

‘Poo! She’s just farted & her bumhole is this big…’

9. Her two chums (above stage left) also win a New years Eve ticket each, for providing us all with such spontaneous comedy gold.

8. The Scarecrow Street Gang. Win a Hoodie to fight over & they each get a ticket for New Years Eve for being in the top ten. Another mob who somehow didn’t draw many votes but we felt really, really, rocked their look…

7. Queen Tut. Wins a Hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve for being in the top ten. We just love this homemade groove. A nice step up from just a Mummy.

6. Sweeney Todd. Wins a hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve  for being in the top ten. An amazing look we can’t believe didn’t get more votes.

5. Five* Zip Girl. Wins a hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve for being in the top ten. A picture says a thousand words… Can you guess what position voters put her in, further down the page..?

4. Killer Easter Bunny. Wins a hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve for being in the top ten.  Eyes that lit up, detachable intestines, home made heed, need we say more…? Also a hit with the voters.

3. Psycho Shower Curtain.  Wins a hoodie & a ticket for New Years Eve, for being in the top ten. As original as they come… You gotta love that knife! A really great effort.

2. C Section. Wins a hoodie & 2 tickets for New Years Eve as runner up. Laugh out loud funny & surely one we will now see copied & developed year on year? Hilarious.

1. The Winner of  ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness Award’  who wins 4 tickets to New Years Eve & 2 WHQ Hoodies - is…

Zombie Masterclass 2011.  Quite simply the best Zombie we have ever had. Read her full write up on the Halloween 2011 page if you are interested in Zombie perfection, have half an hour to kill, or simply want tips on how to go on next year. You can find her at the end of the Zombie section.

Those are the Awards for 2011, now for the actual Results that you all voted for…

The World Headquarters Halloween Costume Competition 2011 - The Results.

Ok, so here are the top ten in the three categories & their outright Winners as voted for by you…

Category 1.

Best Non Spooky. Costumes which whilst not particularly spooky, still kick ass - in reverse order…

10. Mexican 2. This little red head lip nibbler got her chums onside for the voting & just sneaks in at number 10 with 56 votes.

9. Octopus. Got great comment section feedback & a total of 93 votes.

8. Adventure Time Gang. Everyone appreciated their minority cult cartoon groove. 99 votes.

7. Bert Raccoon. Gave a blast of nostalgia to the proceedings scoring 124 votes in the process.

6. David Brent. His homemade chic scored him 125 votes.

5. Frida Kahlo. A really funny, clever & top pastiche, netting him 157 votes. Also listed in ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Award for an Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’. He’s on a roll…

4. Beastie Boys. The boys done good gaining great feedback & scoring 170.

3. Gazza. Deffo a case of mates onside all voting, as Gazza’s quite frankly, ‘half baked off to see Moatie’ effort netted him an amazing 184 votes & he didn’t even remember the can of lager!

2. Oor Wullie. This guy had a real will to win, going so far as to engage the assistance of online sites, specifically designed to get people entering competitions all over the world to vote for each other. Well within the rules, but a classic example of why we also do the honourary awards, which people cannot vote for, to ensure a good spread of opinion accross the competition. His hustling netted him second place with 222 votes. Wins a New Years Eve ticket as runner up.

1.The Winner of Best Non Spooky is…

Where the wild things are. Endeared themselves to everyone in the Club with their willingness to be boiling hot in the name of Halloween. Proof home made is almost always best. 244 votes.

They win £100.00 cash between them, 2 New Years Eve Tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

Category 2.

Most Innovative Costume Design. Innovation comes in many forms as displayed & voted by you here - in reverse order…

10. Edwards Scissor Hands 2. In at number 10 Eddie 2 pulls it off with those low budget claws… 18 votes.

9. Mrs. Marcellis Wallace. Apparently the overall idea & execution, overcame the poor bloodwork & the charm of her syringe evidently struck a chord with the voters…  27 votes.

8. Bath Lady. Simplicity is often the route to innovation… She kept it simple & people loved her for it. 61 votes.

7. Zombie Charva. All in the mouth… 63 votes.

6. Alien Victim. Nice use of frontal appendage brought her a big hard 67 votes.

5. Death of Starbucks. There’s always a weird one gets in, that’s just the nature of a public vote. We really didn’t get this outfit, but that’s democracy in action for you. 82 votes.

4. Psycho Shower Victim. A great & original idea that really hit the spot & was also a contender for ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Award for an Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’. 87 Votes.

3. C. Section. Ticked every box & also made it into the hall of fame that is ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Award for an Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’ too. An excellent effort. 118 votes.

2. Jammie Dodger. Everyone loved the Dodger & he got loads of positive comments. 204 votes. Wins a New Years Eve ticket as runner up.

1.The Winner of Most Innovative Costume Design as voted by you is…. Die Pod.

She did extremely well winning this category & coming second in the overall voting too with 410 votes.  The Voters absolutely loved her & her’s is the top groove in the innovative discipline for 2011.

No wonder she looks so happy… Very well done !! x.

She wins £100.00 cash, 2 New Years Eve Tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

Category 3. The Spookiest Costume of All…!

This is the most subscribed category & the most difficult to win. Halloween is about spookiness & that is why it carries the maximum prize. Some costumes that really deserved to make it here didn’t, but are recognised in Ronnies special award up the page. These are the ones you voted for…

10. Dr Viktor Frankenstein & his Bride. A well deserved 56 votes.

9. Zombie Convict. 57 votes for this fab look.

8. Dead Charlie Chaplain. Nice bloodwork & general groove, that grew on both us & you, as the voting took shape. 74 votes.

7. Witch 15. Blew the Witch section into hyperspace with her amazing look. 92 votes.

6. Leatherface. Already winner of Best Bloodwork 2011, listed in ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness Award’ & now also number 6 on your chart with 93 votes.

5. Sid & Nancy. A really great couple’s look gaining 102 votes.

4. Killer Easter Bunny. Really fab effort that everyone noticed & no one had a bad word for. 141 votes.

3. Zombie Smithy & Nessa. Very well supported in the comment section, with everyone loving them. 165 votes.

2. Zombie Sheep. What can you say… Any other year a potential winner. A really fabulous pose & look. 179 votes. Wins a New Years Eve ticket as runner up.

1. The Winner of The Spookiest Costume of All…! is… Five* Zip Girl. With 669 votes this is the biggest ever winning score & winning margin, in the history of the competition.

If you would like to comment on the winners, or perhaps cry on about why you weren’t one of them..? Please feel free to do so on the main Halloween 2011 page where the comment section remains open x.

If you ask us she had it won from the minute she stepped out the front door for the night…  All the controversy in the comment section about it being a tutorial on you tube, can now be put aside. Almost all costumes are copied from, or inspired by something & the geeky, small cock, whining killjoys trying to run her down with claims of unoriginality, have been roundly silenced by the tsunami of votes in her favour that people cast.

She did it. Did it convincingly & non of us had ever seen it before. She totally rocked her look, amassing 669 votes (259 more than the costume in overall second place, over the 3 categories - Die Pod). A truly deserving winner if ever we saw one.

It was just the most amazing Halloween look we have ever seen. Simple as that… As we said during the competition, you would have to have come to the party dragging poor little Madeleine McCann’s actual rotting corpse around on your back, to tick the spookiness box any more comprehensively. It was an absolute privilege to have her in the Club & she is the Outright Winner of the World Headquarters Halloween Costume Competition 2011.

For winning this category she has won, £250.00 cash, 6 tickets for New Years Eve, a £50.00 New Years Eve bar voucher, 2 WHQ Hoodies & free admission to the Club (+1) on any nights she likes for a whole year.

She has also already won another Hoodie & another ticket for New Years Eve by also coming in the top ten of  ‘Ronnie the Dog’s Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness Award’

Well done Five* Zip Girl, you are The Ultimate Champ..!! World Headquarters Club loves all of you for competing this year, if standards continue to rise at this phenomenal rate…

Absloutely anything can happen next year….x

THE WINNERS HAVE NOW BEEN ANNOUNCED..!

Please see the post at the top of the ‘Stuff We Like’ section re competition winners!

Always remember… True spookiness will never be compromised x.

Welcome to the complete WHQ Halloween Costume Competiton 2011.

Halloween & New Years Eve are the most amazing nights of the year here at WHQ. So, every year we throw the best & spookiest Halloween party in the city, by miles & these are the sweet people who came in 2011…

It was a really fab night & a proper celebration of true spookiness. Massive thanks to all who came & made such an outstanding effort making costumes & dressing up.

This was our biggest ever Costume Competition so we hope you enjoy it.

This year as always we decided to photo everyone as they arrived in the queue, so that no one missed their chance to enter & all the costumes were in tip-top condition at the start of the night. There are loads of photos below & if you were there & got your costume snapped, you were in with a chance of winning, if you could rustle all your chums to vote.

It was a really been a bumper year & many of the costumes (as you will see…) were absolutely inspired & we heap heartie praise on them below…

Some others however, were just a bit gash really & thus, we had a few lagers while we wrote all this (mainly in the middle of the night) & added critical comments & mildly humourous jibes by their photos, ridiculing their unfortunate misguided attempts, all round slackness & lack of effort.

It was all just a bit of a laugh & any scathing, drag queenesque, comments we made on your carefully constructed looks were purely in jest.

The Prizes…

The top prize was the Spookiest Costume of All. The winner of this category will got, £250.00 cash, 6 tickets for New Years Eve, a £50.00 New Years Eve bar voucher, 2 WHQ Hoodies & free admission to the Club (+1) any nights they liked for a whole year.

There were also prizes for the Most Innovative Costume Design. This won £ 100.00,  two New Years Eve tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

Best Non Spooky Costume also won £ 100.00,  two New Years Eve tickets & 2 WHQ Hoodies.

This year there were also three extra awards outside the public vote, but which you were still welcome to comment on & make suggestions for. Full details are below.

All prizes where possible, were personally, paw delivered by Ronnie the WHQ dog.

The Rules…

If you scroll down to the bottom of the page you could submit votes for your favourites in the comment section.

Anyone could vote, for as many costumes as they liked, but could only vote for each costume once or your votes didn’t count.

Votes had to be out of ten & include a comment.

You had to vote & comment on at least 3 costumes per post for your vote to be registered.

You were free to comment on ones that you thought were rubbish too if you liked & take the micky out of your pals etc. When voting we asked you to please use the full  name that we had given the costume so we could be sure who you meant.

When you voted it came to the WHQ office & we then had to approve it to avoid getting loads of spam & we will update the voting daily.

You were free to use any hustle you liked to get more votes & it was ok to put links from this page to facebook etc if you wanted run a full on campaign for yourself.

If you wished to vote but don’t want to appear in the comment section you could e mail you vote to our offices info@welovewhq.com where it was added into the final totals.

Ronnie the WHQ dog was the adjudicator this year & as always, her decision in all matters was final. Anyone she took a dislike to during the voting process, was disqualified & then eaten.

Ronnie picked twenty of the finest contestants to go forward to be considered for her special award, for ‘Outstanding Contribution to Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’. The top ten won Hooodies & NYE tickets & from 10 to 15 won NYE tickets.

There was also a ’Best Bloodwork Award 2011′ & a ‘Best Make Up Award 2011′ chosen by all the girls who work with us at the Club.

This was all outside of & extra to, the normal competition shenanigans.

Ok then, here 2011’s entries, obviously voting is now closed. There are four sections in total, all on this page, displaying one after another. They are… ‘The Zombies’ - ’The Animal Kingdom’ - ‘Famous People/Mini Categoies & Costumes without Categories’ - ‘Multiple Disciplines’.

Feel free to pop back again too over the coming days, as to see all the photos & read all the text took us just under 2 hours..! 

2011 really was that deep & the last thing you wanna do is miss a belter like 5*Zip Girl, Die Pod, or Zombie Masterclass 2011. There really are great looks all over the place. Please bear in mind this was all written in 2011, so there will be odd moments when the tense of the commentary may have drifted a little over time.

Ok, now if you are sitting comfortably, we shall begin….

The Zombies.

One of the most over subscribed categories this & every year, the Zombies enter the competition at varying levels of competence. Some are quite simply incredible & some are so, so, inexpilicably bad they deserve really good beating…

Here at WHQ we like to try to give them that beating, in cases where we feel it is well deserved. Standards must be maintained & we can assure you that they are & things explode into absoulte astounding Zombie glory, further down the page…

For now, we shall begin with some of the more junior contenders.

1. Hurt My Neck Stealing the Ribena.

This pathetic attempt at a Zombie has been put at the top here, in order to highlight the disparity between this lame, happy-go-lucky chancer, his half-baked Ribena antics & the absolute masterpieces of Zombiedom that lie ahead for you, within this category.

This man is lame & in true Zombie spirit should have his heed smashed open with a rock. We guarantee you, should he ever turn up here again in such a low budget Vimto based costume, that is exactly what shall happen…We shall personally see to it.

2. Utterly Pointless.

There is nothing to say about his get up, other than it is pathetic. Nothing.

3. Minimum Effort Zombie.

A spattering of Be-ro flour, a touch of jam & a 100% incorrect pose, more suitable to an academic, cross-dresser, make this lame, would be Zombie idiot next on the list for a breeze block, stotted clean off his noggin.

4. Slightly Better Zombie.

At least he’s got the stance right, has embraced the obligatory bleeding eye socket (always a winner) & he probably thinks he’s doing quite well… Maybe needs to scroll down the page a wee bit & rethink his groove.

5. Back to Front.

We are currently considering opening a glamour over spookiness electro convulsive, corrective therapy programme, to re educate all these young ladies, who persist in putting glamour over spookiness at Halloween. This is wrong! Deeply, deeply, wrong & these two cheeky little monkeys are first on the list.

6. Ill Conceived Fireman.

Something or other Fire dept abbreviated on his crap shirt… Check!

Cod, Ali G faux gangsta hand gesture… Check!

Inconsistency of strawberry jam on face & vimto on shirt… Check!  

Total rubbish… Not even half a proper Zombie.

7. Half Arsed Jimmy.

Here’s another squinting half  chancer. Call that a flippin’ costume..? He’s about as Sonic Youth as Cliff Richard. You must try to do better brother, have you no pride..?

8. Drag Ya Leg.

Facial expression is Zombie gold, the shirt a little clean to be a true Zombie wardrobe item. Great work with the mouth though, proper red blood next time will further unleash the obvious Zombie potential this young scallywag has within him.

9. Obligatory Rocker.

Good stance, authentic rocker carry on, only problem is he probably looks like this all year round, probably due to the snakebite he drinks &  the widely accepted, total musical retardation of the goth rock genre.

10. Half a Job Harriet.

This Zombie is not a Zombie. It’s a Half a Job Harriet, who whilst getting blood on the corner of her mouth, has totally overlooked her eye sockets (a crime against Halloween) & has neglected to adopt any form of Zombie pose…

That’s a shame because the work she’s done on her shirt with potato prints, could’ve won her a prize (were this a nursery school & we were giving out prizes for half-baked efforts that bear no comparison to the genius of her assembled peers). The first law of Zombiedom…If you don’t act Zombie, you won’t be Zombie. All chancers take note.

11. Zombie Jessica Rabbit.

This Rabbit appears to have no ears (& seems a tad rampant…)  Half a job, she criminally confuses seaside postcard, slap & tickle sauce, with actual, meaningful, Halloween spookiness content.

12. Zombie John Lennon.

Wearing that when he was shot was he…? Well.. was he..?!! A travesty of continuity department errors, which overshadow a masterful facial wound.

13. Zombie Spice Girls.

Sporty still alive is she..? Well…is she..?!! Only 4/5 of the gang dead here unfortunately, which is a shame as it was looking pretty good. 

14. Shamone.

Surprised to see only one Zombie Mike this year. Seems Amy’s kinda pipped him in the undead popularity stakes.

15. Zombie Peter Pan & Tinkerbell.

Nice to see these two much loved children’s characters slaughtered in the name of Halloween. However those necks need more work. If you die from a throat wound, believe us when we say, it’s a lot more gory than that.

If you wanna find out just how gory, try turning up next year in the same costumes & letting us butcher you… A lovely concept squandered by minimal strawberry jam.

16. Zombie Junior.

The standard suddenly goes up… Fantastic work with the lungeing hands & the shadow they cast. He’s definitely on the right track here but Zombie Junior needs to mature his look & realise that you can’t have that much blood on your hands without getting a bit more on your shirt. For him to return triumphant as Zombie Senior next year, he also needs to realise, all Zombies have ripped clothing - It’s the second law of  Zombiedom.

17. Morris Dancing, Leprechaun-Type Zombie Mess.

Barely a Zombie at all, this mish mash of looks, whilst incongruous, sort of Victorian & totally off the wall, unfortunately just doesn’t work for the lad. There’ll be no prizes for him this year, but if he emails us via the website, we will donate some vitamin D tablets to him.

Hopefully, they will assist in sorting out that heinous case of rickets he appears to be sporting, which although in keeping with his Victorian type theme, is making him walk funny…  Better luck next time pal.

18. Slashed Up Doctors.

Came to the party, already know they’re not going to win, don’t particularly care & are just here for a good laugh & a bit of a dance about. This attitude too, alongside spookiness, is also in the true spirit of Halloween.

19. Surgeon of death.

Very basic costume this one is pal. More overt spookiness next time please.

20. Yet More Surgeons.

Good eyes & bloodwork from both of these medical professionals & the addition of the severed hand is both a a tasteful & appropriate move.

21. Zombie Baby Nathan.

School boy error here, by the lad Nathan. You can’t be drinking out of a baby’s bottle if you’re a Zombie, unless it has blood in it. Added to the fact, we’ve got minimal blood on the romper suit, he’s gonna have to up his game seriously next year to avoid the scorn of his peers.

22. Dead Roman in a Suit Jacket.

Why would you…? This Zombie pretender is totally devoid of all merit.

23. Zombie Albino Rasta.

Novel concept we’ll grant you, but does it really work…?

24. Gruesome Threesome.

A nice claw there on the left, gives way to a nice scrunchy central sneer, topped off with top level Zombie/ Mummy paws on the right. A nice little look & the girls have done well in this snap, accompanied also by a top notch supporting cast. Looks like things are picking up at last…

25. Retro Zombies.

Good take on the several days dead, blue Zombie genre. The 70’s were the golden period for Zombies, when they could just potter about bumping into each other all the time, without all that 28 Days Later, dashing about palava. Both looking good here & it’s a nice classy homage to happier, more contented times.

26. 20’s Flapper Zombie.

She isn’t from Hati & Zombies only appeared outside of Hati in the mid 70’s… Terrible continuity error, but an equisite chest wound, with good blood colouration, even so.

27. Zombie Tin Tin & The Captain.

Topical, as the Tin-Tin movie is about to come out & even though reference to Zombiedom has been paid here by the lads, it isn’t really over blown enough in the costumes to deliver maximum votes.

‘Topicality is always good’, is in fact it’s the 15th Law of Halloween, but must always be viewed alongside Law 16, which clearly states “Topicality at Halloween, on it’s own… is simply not enough”.

Read clause 8c of the World Headquarters Official Halloween Code for further details. Don’t forget readers, we must never compromise on spookiness…

28. Dead Police Officer.

Always a joy to see… Here she is Zombie-ing up quite nicely & showing a keen eye for the competition, given the fact that she has a WHQ Halloween flyer in one hand & a £10 note in the other. She’s keen, but you have to wonder if the Zombie competition may be a little too fierce for her this year…?

29. Zombie Mimes.

Who aren’t actually miming & seem to be relying on pure maths & the trio principle, to triple their chances. Reasonable blood work, average make up, surely can do better.

30. Zombie Freddie Mercury.

Lacking in Zombie pose, not really very champion & certainly not rocking us at all.

31. Sailorgirl & Batwoman.

How these two have ended up in the Zombie category, is beyond us. Both have gone for glamour over spook, which as previously explained in this competition, is a crime against Halloween, meriting a large & prolonged electrical shock. Interesting blood work on Sailorgirl’s arm & if we’re not mistaken, that may be a slashed chest… right there under her hair?  

In the wrong category they may be, but they seem in good spirits though & we hope they embrace re education & make a point of attending the electro convulsive, corrective therapy programme, we mentioned earlier.

32. Shy Zombie.

Took us ages to get this geezer to agree to have his photo taken, yet his get up is certainly better than some of the limp-wristed chancers, further up the page.

He’s got his faults, terrible hairline/make up border, total lack of inner ear make up & bloodless palms, but despite all that, his shirt is extremely well put together. With a couple of strategically placed shirt tears in there & a spot more makeup, he could stand a chance in future contests.

We’d advise him to attend our Zombie posing seminar, which we’ll be holding in the Club a fortnight before Halloween next year.

33. Unenthusiastic Dead Fairy Tale Characters.

Another bunch who got all dressed up then cried on when we wanted to take their photos & wouldn’t pose. The spirit of Halloween is exhibitionism. That, young ladies is a fact & you’d do well to observe your peers, below…

34. Lunging Dead Schoolgirls.

A proper bit of enthusiasm goes a long way & these two were well up for the evenings spookiness. Not the strongest costumes, but commitment can always overcome that. You can’t put a price on a young ladies willingness to lunge.

35. Dead Schoolgirl 3. That is a tight look, with some quality self harm wounds there on the right arm. The addition of pen on the hands, in a schoolgirl context is historically accurate. We all drew on our hands at school & thus she has nailed this look totally.

36. The Purple Gang.

Chums with Half arsed Jimmy (number 7), but obviously not pally enough to sort his look out for him. Great face painting skills on display here & a nice comandeering of the colour purple from those lazy witches, elsewhere in the competition. Reasonable bloodwork, great eyes & the trio factor, all lift this to a quality snap. It’s cool the way the spook factor grows, as you veiw the snap from left to right…

37. Zombie Convict.

What a fab chest wound & she hasn’t scrimped on the claret either! Really strong work here with great eyes, lopsided head & a proper competition pose. Tick, tick, gold star!

38. Zombie of Sorts.

Bit more of a clown really. Average face make up let down by everyday clothes. Is it just us, or are the girls running away with this category of the competition..?

39. Zombie Nurse 1.

Excellent claw work, slightly undermined by the tab in her other hand. A Zombie box well ticked with the bloodied mouth, indicating recent feeding on human flesh & with a little more application & dedication may hit the heights next year. Must stop allowing herself to be distracted from concentrating on her inner spookiness, by tabs ‘n’ lads.

40. Zombie Nurse 2.

One of the best poses of the competition, an effortless hang, arms any Mummy would be proud of, lop-sided head (slashed throat, hopefully, covered by hair), Witches’ tights into the bargain & a high octane vacant stare. Here she has taken the basic elements of spookdom & blended them together nicely, in a highly successful montage.

41. Zombie PLO soldier.

It’s a good solid stare, but the bloodwork is poor & pink. This we fear will keep her out of the prize giving ceremony. Living proof that it’s really important to get your blood right on Halloween. Remember kids - Tampon red, not Vimto purple - at all times.

42. Dead Baywatch.

Not a lot of blood on the go here, but given her outfit she most probably drowned & was then maybe nibbled a bit by some fish. As with so many of the ladies this year, she is bringing a element of sauce with her to the proceedings. Another contender who made a point of owning her look & stayed in character all night. Nice effort.

43. Dead Zombie Slut.

Having a sign saying who you are on your costume is always risky & can go either way…  She needs to be really careful to not forget to stay in character, or her sign could be seen by voters as cutting corners. 

To carry this look off properly, she needs to pose well, engage a quality lip bite, establish a correctly executed claw gesture & then find some way to put it to good use, in a way that is inkeeping, with both the saucy & spooky elements of Halloween ….

Ooh Err Matron…..!!

44. Matron…  You Called…?

Always on hand to deliver that extra little boost, Matron, whilst not quite a Zombie, kindly offered to appear at this point in the category, to ensure it all flowed correctly. Definitely owning her look, the red eyes are smack on the money & that single rubber glove….? 

Well, we are sure that whatever that conjures up for you, the reader, it will be well within the spirit of Halloween… Great pose, tight look.

45. Dead Wind Up Doll.

A certain contender for the coveted ‘Most realistic blood of the night’ award. Against the blue that is rocking! All you Ribena Zombies, further up the page (& below) should be paying attention. This is how bloodwork should be done…

46. Classic Donkey trick.

Yup, her pals have caught her out again, with the old Donkey ears classic…! Doesn’t detract from her look too much though. Can’t tell if her dress has skulls or Minnie Mouse printed on it?  The witchy tights are rocking, but once again she is let down in the Blood Dept.

47. Zombie Hippy 1.

Plenty of blood on the go here & both the facial & mouth attention, neatly implies a recent feed. Nice vacant stare, maybe just slightly lacking a little eye make up..? Then again, maybe she’s one of those au natural, skinny dipping, no make up hippy types & has not been dead that long..?

48. Zombie Hippy 2.

Nice stare. Excellent focus with the majority of his bloodwork being around his mouth. Pleased to see a peace sign from a member of the undead, as opposed to some of the Ali G hand nonsense that has blighted other areas of the competition.

49. Kinda Half Clown, Half Zombie men.

That’s what’s on the go here. Really need to look at the neck make up though & they’re a classic example of why Wind up Doll (number 45 above) needs to hold regular bloodwork perfection classes for all future entrants of this contest.

50. Zombie Smithy & Nessa.

Excellent showing from the Gavin & Stacey favourites. Great pose, great eyes & a proper pastiche. In a totally different ball park to the two ribena merchants above. Very cool.

51.  Zombie Red Head.

This is A list Zombie posing. All over Be-ro, sunken eyes & nice blood colouration. Lovely touches with the hand marks on the legs, implying death as a result of a particularly sinister assault. Wonderous, yet subtle inward twist on the knees too. Very well executed indeed.

52. 28 Days Later Man.

The clothing is great especially the ripped coat. Half decent bloodwork & pose too. Loses it with the fag though - when infected with the Rage, you don’t stop for a fag…

It exposes the fact he is pretending & it sullies the requisite level of enthusiastic application, needed to deliver a Rage victim pose correctly. Might work down the quayside, but not here pal. More dedication required next year.

53. Dr Viktor Frankenstein & His Bride.

Fantastic effort. He is posing to perfection & really hitting the mad proffessor vibe smack out of the park. She meanwhile, is a masterclass in textbook Halloween arm elevation art. Look at the quality on display here from both of them…!! Absolutely top class & one of our certain favourites.

54. Zombie Charlie Chaplin

Excellent work with the torn clothes, colour of the blood is spot on & it’s a good look. Shame his tash is coming off.

55. Victorian Zombie.

Nice scarring & general attention to wounds. Could have dropped a coupla shades on the blood, but the overall effect is tight.

56. Obligatory Rocker part 2.

Arrogant bunch these Rockers. Lack of soul records in their collections make them think they can just bool up on Halloween, not a drop of blood in sight & expect to be called a Zombie. The flippin’ nerve! Great Kiss-type make up here though & a good scrunchy face. But without the blood… He’s not one of us - he’s one of them.

57. Zombie Jonny Ramone Meets Zombie Pirate.

JR is playing two camps here, as he seems to us to be rocking a bit of a mini-Hulk card alongside his Zombie credentials. Great eyes, really great.

Zombie Pirate however, is wearing a flippin’ anorak & we are going to mark him down for that & behead him if we ever get the chance. Zombies do not feel the cold & even the pussies in the Animal Kingdom section of this competition aren’t decked out in great big, David Bellamy coats that their mam made them wear, along with clean underpants in case they got knocked over. Soft arse.

58. Zombie Steve Irwin.

A good little face on him here but hardened World Headquarters Halloween spooksters will recall last year’s Zombie Steve Irwin, who also sported an Australian dangling corks hat. Here’s a young man who hasn’t done his homework properly.

59. Cross Eyed Zombie.

She is a class act. Two bleeding eye sockets, supa dupa cross eyes, a dishevelled & off the wall look, kinda like some sort of Zombie Maid Marion, lost in the woods…

There is a top quality neck wound & though we never like to be too critical, we feel as a result of that, a slightly lop-sided head would’ve been the icing on the cake.

60. Zombie Couple.

We can’t work out if they had a fight & she hit him with a frying pan & killed him or what? Either way he’s more Zombie than she is & he doesn’t seem to bear a grudge. There’s a charm in this picture & for once, we shall break with Halloween protocol & celebrate two people showing affection for one another above spookiness.

We should point out, we will only do this on this one single occasion because, as we said, there’s a real warm & genuine charm in this picture & we like it.

61. Sid & Nancy.

Masterpiece alert! What a fantastic look. Sid manages to drop in a hand gesture, which to the uneducated eye could be viewed as part of the Ali G-ism infection, which apparently beset areas of Newcastle during the Halloween period.

As any connoisseur will tell you, Sid’s gesture, with which Nancy joins him, is a simple basic, old skool, punk rock, two-fingered “F**k Off” & not some nu skool ‘Westside‘ nonsense. Add this raw authenticity in with the historical accuracy of the outfits & the amazing make up job (definitely top 5 this year) & what you have borders on perfection. We will be stunned if this does not score very, very, highly, as this is the very penthouse of spookery.

62. Pirate of Death.

He’s got it going on here alright… Beautiful home made sword! No amount of cash can ever purchase that degree of  Halloween authenticity. A great raggy zombified Pirate look, incorporating Witch’s tights (which is a really lovely touch!). His sneer is from the top drawer & to cap it all, he’s got so much flavour, he’s wearing a mask on his head!  

As we all know a mask at Halloween can often be seen as a cop out, so he’s just taken it to the next level, really thought outside of the box, leaving us discombobulated, as he presents his mask as a hat..!

What some people would count on for their whole look, this boy drops in as a mere titfer! Pure class & further proof, as if it was needed, that home made when it’s this standard, is always, always, best.

63. Zombie Barbie

One of the looks of the night, Zombie Barbie really nailed it. With her “Made in China” on her leg crossed out in blood to say “Killed in China”, her totally black contact lenses & her body to costume match up ratio, you couldn’t really miss her.

A very well chosen look & a perfect balance of glamour, sauce & spookery. All girls in this competition who’ve gone simply for glamour, would do well to take a leaf out of her book & make a bigger effort next time - free their minds & spook up a little more.

Barbie truly educating the femmine gender in a positve fashion & leading by example? Never thought we’d see the day..! That is a fine example of  the true power of Halloween.

64. The Undead.

His game is tight. He’s a well crafted Zombie, who’s been dead for a while, as he has the blue thing going on quite nicely. The eyes are beyond criticism & the torn clothing is 100% authentic.

We hate to nit pick & as you will surely realise, it is not in our nature to criticise the costumes of others purely for our own amusement… But we have to challenge his use of the knife as a tool…

Think about it - Zombies cannot possibly use a tool. It is industry standard & it’s indoctrinated by Rule 11 of Zombiedom.

It’s such a shame because  his execution is otherwise near perfect, but he’s only got himself to blame. WHQ cannot allow people to break the established laws of both Zombiedom & Halloween in such a blatant fashion without bringing it to the attention of voters. What’s right is right. 

65. C Section.

Original, inspired, humourous, spooky & smack on the money. We shall certainly be voting for this lady. What a sublime effort! From the umbilicus, to the sneer, the whole execution is from the toppest of drawers. We run this competiton to uncover new & vibrant spook talent like this. Earth shatteringly simple & just so, so, effective… 

We aren’t even going to take issue with the baby not being blood spattered, as an original contender such as this lady already realises that was an error. But when you see original work of this calibre it is inconsequential. That costume is the total Bomb & every Zombie that walks the earth is proud of you…!!!

66. Zombie Charver.

A really nice bit of work here too. Great facial make up & the fact he has taken it to the point of art, raises him above many in the pack. Look closely… that teeth to cheek teeth vibe properly rocks.

67. Psycho Shower Curtain.

Old Skool Flavour!! This kids, is really, really, fab in the extreme! Looked absolutely amazing on the night & with the knife sticking out of her curtain and everything, really ranks highly on our card. Dare we say an early tip for possible winner..? Spook originality like this is rare indeed… We hope you the voters treasure & reward it.

68. Zombie Masterclass 2011.

Right kids, here it is, the benchmark on so many levels. Not only are the hands extended like claws, but they are extended at the precise angle that would also allow them to poke out eyes as they grasp. Masterful…

The bloodwork around the shirt is simply exquisite & she has avoided the classic clean shirt mistake, that most Zombies make, by starting with a shirt that was off white in the first place. Preparation, as all craftsmen know, is nine tenths of the job & to base the whole ensemble on an off white, nicely torn shirt, then add the element of the tartan neckerchief (we all know jocks are radge) is simply sublime.

Again she’s ticked a box many Zombies miss, in that she has got blood in her hair from where she’s been noshing down on the entrails of her last unfortunate victim.

In further intricate details (we could literally go on forever…), the majority of her bloodwork is around her own mouth & she’s cunningly kept the blood round her lips, looking nice & damp, whilst retaining the same shade (only dry) for the blood on her shirt. No Heinz vs Ribena clashes here kids..! The eyes too, are perfection & if you needed any more reason to herald her as a true Zombie Queen, check out the hand print on the bottom of her shirt…

See the way, the blood soaked victim has grasped at her, made contact & then slipped away, smudging the blood as they fell to the ground to face certain disembowelment…

Even just taking that one element of the hand print & then comparing it with the hand print of a less accomplished Zombie (shall we say Zombie 10 from earlier up the page), leaves you in no doubt that this is a thoughtful, mature & complete 360 degree look that is way ahead of the pack, executed with style, fashion & degree. We are in awe of you !!  Gold star…. Go to the top of the class.

That concludes the Zombies, now for the next section. 

The Animal Kingdom.

Our Animal friends always kick up some wonderful costumes at Halloween & at World Headquarters we like spooky animals a lot. That is why a photo of Ronnie the Dog (the competition adjudicator) takes pride of place at the top of this section, sporting her finest Halloween terrorhound fangs.

You can’t vote for her as she is not a costume, she really is that spooky if she doesn’t get her walk.  Thus we thought it fitting to kick off The Animal Kingdom section with the true spirit of Halloween, immortalised here by Ronnie, for all to see.

The Animal Kingdom…

1. Pinata Zebra.

It’s home made, which is always good & she seems very proud of her arm make up. As she only actually has three stripes on her forearm, we can’t really see why she is so pleased with herself? Her mask appears to have been adapted from a pig one, by adding a little bit of marker pen. She has made the effort though, it is home made & the little zebra pinata is a highly original accessory that almost makes up for the mask…

If it is in fact full of sweets, to give to little trick or treating children (after she smashes it open on their heads) when they knock on her door at Halloween… Full marks!

2. Zebra Man.

This is not home made, it is shop bought. Therefore even though it is a stronger look than Pinata Zebra above, we are unable to award it top marks. It is a really nice swerve though, showing true commitment, right down to his shoes…

If you look carefully, I think you’ll find that rather topically, he may actually be hung like a horse…? Hard to tell with all the stripes going on, but a stirling effort nonetheless.

3. Where the Wild Things Are.

This is a great home made effort. Looked so convincing on the night, we had our adjudicators remove his Gruffalo head to inspect it on the inside. Here we found a plastic hard hat holding a load of fake fur together with gaffa tape. Excellent work, especially when you consider how hot they must’ve been spooking their way around the Club. The standard is high this year & once again this gets top marks.

4. Sexy Beast.

A great look that was really rocking out in the queue. His stance is fantastic & his piece de resistance came later in the evening, when the lager kicked in & he had a small altercation with another person in the club. Humourously, this culminated with him, in his full garb as he appears here, pursuing a fleeing Beetlejuice down the street… Hilarious!

5. Dead Leopard.

Dead Leopard marks the start of a series of low budget cats that get steadily worse over the next few snaps. She has at least made an effort by being a leopard, as most of the feminine feline contingent this year are a trifle generic, as you’ll see.

6. Low Budget Tiger

Appears to have gone to the same school of costumerie as Pinata Zebra above, but hasn’t displayed the nouce to accessorise on his lame suit. His mask is off the back of a cereal packet, but in contrast his pose is from the top draw, even with fag in mouth. This young fellow is clearly a wasterel & a ne’er do well… Who is blatantly squandering his untapped, inner Halloween potential.

7. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen. Basically…

8. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen Part 2. The sequel (now with added mouse).

9. Daft Fluffy Ears & a Bit of Pen. The Return.

Here Kate refers to her costume as the ‘Werecat’. Presumably because she wasn’t quite sure where the cat was within her look..? Biro, fluffy lugs & one clawed hand do not a cat make. All you Cat Women must try harder next year, or you’ll get it in the neck the way all those buckleless lazy Witches have, elsewhere in the competition.

10. Slight Improvement Cat.

The addition of Cats-eye shaped contact lenses & the PVC suit, takes it to the next level, raising her above the naughty step ‘Pen & Ears’ brigade. Good pose, well executed. It’s nit-picking, but could’ve done with some claws.

11. Magic Cat.

She seems quite happy with the one claw thing, but we all know at this, the highest possible level of feline competitive tussle, it’s not enough. Do like the mask though, but the bow tie isn’t quite doing it in terms of complimenting the Pussycat vibe.

12. Cleave Tiger.

Given that she’s exhibiting a fair old bit of ‘Ooh Matron’ type sauce, it’s a shame she didn’t go that one step further with the actual Heinz Tomato version. She coulda zombifed her tiger a bit & got some splattered down that cleave & on them there claws. Almost there.

13. Minimum Effort Cat

No whiskers, no tail, no mask. Just a set of ears from the Joke Shop really. No one can question the fact that she has, what  are absolutely grade A posing skills & it’s another tragic waste of endemic spook potential & claw talent. Lazy, lazy, lazy, going in the secret book for a firm smack.

14. Dead Rabbit

In a similar predicament to Minimum Effort Cat, Dead Rabbit is basically all about the lugs, which look like they were knocked up in 5 minutes out of last year’s plastic christmas tree. Saved only by the fact she zombified it. A lame effort but she did at least read the script, so there’s room for improvement next year (& plenty of it!)

15. Cat People.

Kinda spooky & as we all know, it is impossible to argue with a bleeding eye socket. Little bit of a half a job though, as simple improvements could’ve raised their game.

Those improvements are - symmetrical eye socket blood (as in, applied to her face too) & also -  symmetrical black lipstick (as in, applied to his lips, as well as hers).

Then as a finishing touch, symmetrical facial hair (as in, snipped from his pubes & then glued onto her chin), to set it all off just dandy. These two must learn not to cut corners with spookiness.

Looking ahead, unless they can get the look together as a couple for next year, we recommend he breaks out on his own, playing to the genetic strengths of his unique lugs & moves into the solo, Mr. Spock, or Lord of the Rings, Fairy-type Dude costume arena…

Obviously we derive no humour & take no pleasure in giving you this sage advice, we do it soley for your own good & in the interest of spookiness.

16. Three Blind Mice.

How dare you…?! If you are meant to be Three Blind Mice, how can you possibly justify having your Ray Charles/Peters & Lee glasses around your necks..?! You should be wearing them, you fools!

This is the moment when your costume is immortalised for all time & blatant, inherent laziness, has deprived you of a golden Halloween, rodent-related, ensemble picture of Stevie Wonder impersonating proportions - Little baby cuddles… Really..?!!

Mouse 1 also appears to be on the phone…?!! Unforgiveable disrespect for the cult of Halloween. Bye Jingo, the next time you lot come to the Club, there’ll be traps down..!!!

17. Evil Monkey.

More accessorising opportunities missed. No coconut, no banana, no Johnny Vegas, no coco pops, no pg tips, no palm oil plantation where his rainforest home used to be. There’s no use pointing the finger, the kid’s just not trying.

18. Scary Monkey Clowns.

Weren’t sure whether to put these in the Clown category or the Animal Kingdom. But as they were Monkeying around with the idea of being Clowns, we thought here was the right place. Good Clown make up here & a nice miserable Halloween groove, being exuded by all of them.

Top of the class is Monkey 1, as he looks the scariest & is protecting us from the spooky things he might say. The actual costumes are a tad lame but all three do match & as a trio they’re three times as good as one of them would be, that’s just basic mathematics.

19. Cujo the Dog.

Cujo had slight problems getting people to remember who she was meant to be, as the low budget & ludicrous horror B movie she starred in, was so long ago & so pants. Full marks to her though, for keeping a spooky & unique Halloween character alive.

Better a ridiculous, comedy dog than another of those flippin’ ten a penny, fluffy ear & a bit of pen Cats. Originality means points & supporting minority spookiness is within both the spirit of Halloween & the spirit of World Headquarters.

20. Dalmation ‘Gangsta’.

Another costume apparently infected with the Ali G-ism hand gestures that we have seen appear elsewhere in the competition this year. Halloween demands a snarling face & claw-like hand gestures. It’s industry standard pal.

Fair enough we retired turnips, we all accept that pumpkins are easier to carve. But this faux gangland hand gesture nonsense & any further americanisation of spookiness is a step too far - plus it makes him look like a knob.

21. Shop Bought Wolf

This has been zombified slightly by what appears to be a superficial throat wound. The costume is weak however & not home made. In order to raise her game, she should’ve parked herself next to Red Riding Hood, elsewhere in the competition & gone to town with the tomato ketchup.

That would’ve been a double act that could’ve elevated her in the Premier league rankings. As she stands at present, next season she’ll be away, at a metaphorical Scunthorpe…

22. Zombie Sheep

Masterclass alert! Masterclass alert!! Masterclass alert!!! Zombie sheep has got it absolutely 100%, totally, bona fide, locked down! What a classic look, gloriously home made, excellent reverse scrunch on the pose (as opposed to the basic arms out front classic stance).

You can see & almost feel the pain of zombification, twisting & contorting her & you can almost hear the throaty growl & taste her putrid, scroffulent saliva, as it dribbles down her perfectly constructed zombie face. She’s gone for the ‘dead for quite a while’ zombie vibe, with the blue skin & nailed it!

Really really top notch spookery & this young lady is top ten on our scorecard. Living (or rather undead) proof that simplicity & commitment to spookiness gets results.

23. Crocodile.

His criminal lack of zombification for this reptillian character, has led to his name being put in the secret book, for a proper hard smack on the bottom, alongside several other lazy, underzombified, miscreants in this competition.

24. Frog of Sorts.

Think he might really be a lizard as he has a tail, but who knows? Either way he’s shop bought, so we can’t see how even his Kung Fu stance can get him a prize.

25. The Octopus.

Opening the seafood section with a bang. Looked great in the Club & as sea creatures have a good record in this contest (see Jellyfish, 1st prize 2008), a good bet to be in the upper echelons when the votes are cast.

26. Zombie Lobster.

The Lobster suit may be a rental, but the red zombie vibe is all his own & lifts it to the next level. He’s got a nice ’slightly constricted by my ectoskeleton’ vibe going on with the pose too. Shame about the pants…

27. The Avatars.

Animal or not? who can say..? They look great though & have paid real attention to detail. Not that spooky, but when your look is this well crafted you get a pass. Lovely counterpoint with their white teeth in a sea of blue. A true make up milestone in this years competition. We’d like to see you do it all again next year, but on foot high stilts for true  accuracy, but despite that minor quibble - Well done you two!

28. Ultra Low Budget Avatar.

Jesus christ…! What a bliddy mess. It’s difficult to know where to start with this young lady… Is she an Avatar? If so, she is shamed by her chums above & must surely leave the forest kingdom with her head bowed in shame.

Her fan club have now been in touch with Ronnie in the comment section below, to tell us she is actually meant to be someone called Mystique from the X -men & how fabulous her look is….  Really…?

We’re trying be complimentary but it’s really hard as this is a make up train crash, that looks as though it was applied by a blind gibbon. She gets half a mark for the one handed pose & that is real WHQ generosity. Deffo needs to chum up with couple  27 for some make up tips, as her hairline/make up border redefines the word ‘poor’.

Here’s that hairline again in close up & look….She’s having a little poo! -  Bless x.

29. Killer Easter Bunny.

A top contender. Home made headgear, tres spooky & kept in character all night, darting around with his little basket of eggs. Got a touch of the Donnie Darko’s in there, but this dude has pushed the boat out, made the look his own & really lived the role. We can all learn from this exceptional effort. 

With talk of fake detachable intestines & red glow in the dark eyes, down in the comment section, he is a really strong contestant for the prizes.

30. Bert Raccoon.

Bert’s pose & cult kid comedy cartoon throwback factor, are the strongest aspects of this look. The eyes are also good. You can see by the way the crowd has parted that Bert has got the groove on.

It is always a joy to see minorites, like Bert, represented & feel they have a place at WHQ. That’s what our Club is all about & what makes it special, on every single level.

That Concludes the Animal Kingdom, now for the next section.

Famous People, Mini Categories & Costumes Without Categories…

This section contains numerous famous people, interspersed with mini categories, like World of Pumpkins, Pulp Fiction Corner, Mexican Day of the Dead & various other costumes simply too far out to categorise.

Billie the Boss.

It’s been a whirlwind year for young Billie. Having worked last year taking down costume names in the queue, 12 months later she finds herself running the whole Club & ordering Tom around all the time, poking him with sticks & calling him hurtful names to try to break his self confidence & demean him… Now that is spooky by anyone’s standards…

Unfortunately it’s kept her so busy that this year she could only muster up a a bit of marker pen for her half baked whiskers… Hasn’t even got any proper fluffy ears. Last year she was also a pants cat, but at least she managed a fake fur coat.

Living proof that anything can happen in WHQ if you work hard enough. It also proves it’s tough at the top & that being a proper little witch is an advantage, if you work in a really spooky place.

The 118 Sisters.

Here we see the 118 quins. It’s a good, humorous look, but we all know there are only two 118 men on the actual adverts. This acting in multiples thing is a tricky one. Got right, it should be five times as good, but we can’t help feeling that in this case, it’s a bit of an easy ball to take (for three of them) especially when the stakes are so high.

Could be that they reckon a gang of 118 men is spooky..? But for that to work they’d really need to be almost identically dressed, so they could  pop up simultaneously, in different spots all over the Club & freak people out. As they aren’t, this seems more like just a really good night out & a laugh for the whole gang, rather that a serious competition contender. Gotta love those tashes though!

The Beastie Boys.

Hilarious! A top look & just so, so simple… ‘89 Beaties Boys vintage nailed. Not scary at all, just really, really cheeky, cute & brimming with personality.

Well done lads, that’s so off the wall it could just put you in contention for the best non spooky costume of the year award. In terms of effort to result ratio, this is a masterclass. 

Pirate girl.

Red is working nicely here for Pirate Girl. It’s a tight look, but seems to us that she’s a bit more of a Gypsy Rose Lee? Pirates aren’t like Witches, so there are no set rules or sacred culture, which must be followed to avoid crimes against Halloween.

Surely though, a sword wouldn’t have gone amiss & an eye patch or parrot perhaps, would’ve nailed the costume properly & raised her game. In summary: good look, spoilt by zero accessories & total spookiness bypass.

Leatherface.

Outstanding Bloodstains! This is definitely a contender for best bloodwork of the competition. The way he has balanced the shading on his sleeves & arms is utterly realistic. Not sure if it’s a working chainsaw, but let’s face it, it’s only a party. Excellent pose, nice leather face & a great chance of winning something this year.

 Jessie J.

We think she is meant to be Jessie J..? For those of you who don’t know her, she is famed for yodelling like a wounded Jack Russell, having a broken foot all the time & kidnapping small multi-cultural children.

She then imprisons them & forces them to learn all her songs. Once they are fully rehearsed, she throws them into the crowd at Glastonbury,  then plucks them out (apparently at random) & forces them to perform with her, singing word for word, whilst pretending they’ve never met before.

Now this lady does actually look a little bit like her, except to really nail her look, she should’ve had the cast on her foot. Then she could have topically dragged her leg (ever so slightly), paying a slight & tasteful homage to the world of Zombiedom.

A golden opportunity to accessorise & adapt said accessories, to further the cause of Halloween spookery, has unfortunately been missed here.

Death of Starbucks.

Starbucks Coffin? What does it all mean? Why is her head red? We’d like to think that she’s making some sort of deep, philosophical statement about consumerism & exploitation in the third world. But if she isn’t, then she’s just dressed herself up to look proper daft & stuck the word coffin on her brown paper bag, as a desperate clutch at spookiness…  Either way she looks a clart.

Die Pod.

Very, very, very, very strong. A fantastic original idea, well thought out, well detailed, well named, Halloween themed, very ‘now’  & unashamedly home made.

The pumpkin for apple back is just the start of it, check the front out…

Boo! Tube - you gotta love that, Critter too, look at her…  That is a top contender for most original costume idea & at the very least, she surely has to be snuggling up all warm in a WHQ Hoodie, clutching her NY Eve tickets before too long. She could even go all the way & hit the big money.

Proof that you don’t need to spend a fortune if you are inventive & just a bit spooky in real life. Excellent eye work too, which (as by now we all know…) could only have been bettered - by the obligatory bleeding eye socket. That costume has just properly raised the bar… Hey, Mrs… We know you can hear us… Very, very, well done!!

Dude in a sack.

What is going on here..? It’s a funny little person in a bag… They must have a lot of faith in whatever they are meant to be, but we haven’t got a clue..? Nutter.

Cat Attack.

Perfection in eye work, if ever we saw it. She’s rocking some kind of Aunt Sally Panda in sabre tooth cat attack vibe, which is either highly connoisseur, or we’ve totally missed the point…  

Who are we..?

Not sure… Gonna need some help via the comment section on this one… Elton Johns…?

Sedako the Ring.

Nice groove with the proper actual Japanese Kimono & obligatory VHS tape. Again, as with last year’s Ring competitor, lacking the essential pond weed. Nice & scary though as he is about 7 feet tall.

Frankie & the Brides.

The notion of Frankenstein & his numerous brides forming a little pop group in honour of Halloween is highly appropriate. The ladies are all strong in the syrup department & Frankie’s limp wrist is pure Halloween class.

Bride 1’s little tootle she’s having there on her horn, would appear to be the most poignant musical contribution. The whole ensemble is marginally let down by Frankie running out of make up on his forehead, other than that a really nice group shot.

5* Zip Girl.

Jesus, Mary & Joseph - Check her out..!!  Absolutely flippin’ Outstanding with a capital ‘O’! One of the most memorable looks of this or any other Halloween. The attention to detail is exemplary…! What a flippin’ look. Is it from a movie? It’s just so mad! Check out her pins…

She’s got nails in them! All her effort was well worth it & she is racing up the field. We know everyone wants to win, but if you don’t vote for this outfit & score it highly then there is something seriously, seriously, wrong with you…

It’s just the most amazing Halloween look we have ever seen. Simple as that… You would have to come to the party dragging poor little Madeleine McCann’s actual rotting corpse around on your back, to tick the spookiness box any more comprehensively. Already a major contender for Ronnie’s special, ’ Services To Furthering the Cause of Global Spookiness’ award. It was an absolute privilege to have her in the Club.

No * Zip Man.

Another year we might have said ‘wow really great’. But unfortunately for this little chap he has been blown right of the water by the girl above. It must be from a film for them both to be rocking it. His is rubbish compared to hers. Look at his ludicrous little jerkin he has on…

He hasn’t even made the top of his nose up properly & has made no effort to blend in his zip.  Bet he was gutted when he saw her… Ha!  We’d have just turned around & gone straight home. Really unlucky for the lad, but he only has himself to blame for underestimating the oppositon.

All together now, lets all shout…. ‘Hey Mr! Mr!! - That girl up there  just kicked yo’ ass..!’

There is a lesson for us all in here, a lesson about commitment to spookiness. These two are like a  microcosm of the entire competition this year… The girls are now totally running away with it…

Mexican Day of the Dead.

We saw our first Mexican day of the Dead contestants at last year’s party. They can be proud of the lasting impression they made, as this year the MDD’s have mulitiplied considerably, as we shall now demonstrate…

Mexican 1.

Good work,casually dishevelled heair, gives way to a well serviced hair-make up borderline that appears almost seamless. A nice facial pattern, making her eyes look permanently surprised. Good attention to the neck (at bliddy last !) with the only minor quibble being, it’s starting to fade a little around her lips & chin, from where she’s possibly been giving all the boys a bit tongue & nosh.

Mexican 2.

Not a full blown Mexican in the true sense, but a nice co-ordination between hair, eye sockets, flower & dress. Quite a spooky look & definitely a grower. Given the level of spookdom around on this particular evening, it’s possible for a look such as this to be overshadowed by some of the more extreme grooves in the competition. Take some time with it readers, as it is connoisseur spookery & you can’t argue with a cheeky little nibble of lip.

Mexican 3.

This is more in the classic Day of the Dead style, an excellent use of colour, let down somewhat by the classic error of not taking the make up past the line of his top. Nice vacant stare, hiding the fact that it’s possibly a West African shirt (& if so major continuity error). Nice try though.

Mexican 4. Calavera.

Calavera is representing the more authentic end of the Day of the Dead genre. The idea of this whole groove is that you paint yourself up like a dead person, with a decorated skull & celebrate the lives of your ancestors in a happy, carefree way. As such this Mexican festival, which takes place at the start of November each year, is one of the most positive global applications of spookery & this category can only grow, year on year.

This is a nice make up job with funny teeth & the cob-webbing is a nice touch. However, next time we see him we are gonna do him a massive favour & pin him down, beat him unconcious, grab a brush & paint his scraggy neck with a bucket of white emulsion…

As we have now officially lost our patience with incomplete & inconsistent neck make up, within the context of this competition.

Mexican 5.

This is another good one. The beads work really well & the looking up to the heavens pose, with the eyes, is a mark of quality. The ability to pose with whatever is at your disposal is an essential trademark of any aspiring Halloween competition winner.

Mexican 6. Mexican day of the Lame…

Dearie me… With most competition outfits there is a fair chance that someone else is gonna try the same look. This little chappie needs to learn the same lesson, as copycat zip boy, further up the page.

No one wants to come bottom of the class & with his little Ska boy’s hat, clown’s tie & baby panda’s found the felt pens make up job, our friend here has achieved exactly that. Go & sit in the corner & face the wall…

World Of Pumpkins.

Pumpkins have replaced turnips completely now, as the Halloween lantern of choice. Turnips tasted nicer but pumpkins are easier to carve. It may hurt, but we all  just have to accept that times have changed & we must try to be strong, adapt & move on…

The Pumpkin King.

This is an excellent pose, filling the lens. Nice use of purple (Witches take note) & the claws are smack on the ticket. The only 2 problems displayed here are the fact that, his pumpkin head, isn’t lined up properly with his own eyes (raising serious issues of Halloween health & safety) & the fact that he doesn’t have a crown. Kings have crowns, that’s basic Fairytale crack. He does have a natty cloak though & they have been somewhat thin on the ground this year.

Pumpkin Dress.

This is a home-made effort & the little face is laugh out loud. It’s a confident pose, with the crossed legs & the arms akimbo & she’s obviously very proud of her achievements, as well she should be. Despite the fact she looks like she could be in Bucks Fizz & in some 80s Halloween time warp, she just seems so pleased with herself & her funny little outfit that you can’t deny it’s somewhat endearing. Bless x.

Flatbelly Pumpkin.

Pies love, that’s what you need… Pumpkins are supposed to be round. Everyone knows that. What we have here, appears to be more of a Zombie (pose), Witch (tights), Carrot (outfit) hybrid. This is either, highly original & breaking new boundaries in spookdom, or a parcel of you know what… Top marks on the orange face though, not sure if it’s a part of the costume or if she’s just got a touch of the Geordie Shores?

Pumpkin Dude.

Here’s a funny, little fellow, who again looks very pleased with himself, what is it with these pumpkins..? He’s done well to source those orange pants & his overall groove is good. He’s got cheek, swagger &  we all know what’s letting him down…(all together now, that’s right, here we go again…) inconsistencies in neck make up application. He’s also got, make up hairline issues, but as he presents himself as a fully confident package, bereft of all self-consciousness, he pulls it all off really well.

Cheery Pumpkin.

Here’s another happy pumpkin, out celebrating the death of the turnip. Hers is a slightly less elaborate ruse, shop bought if we’re not mistaken & as long as she just came to have fun & doesn’t expect to win a prize, then we suppose it’s fair dues.

If however, she establishes a facebook campaign, getting thousands of people to vote for her, propelling her into the prize fund reckoning, then we shall hunt her down & in keeping with true pumpkinnery, scoop out her insides & throw them in the bin. That would be justice & that along with spookiness, is what we’re here for.

Another thing we are here for, is to always jump straight through any comedy window that presents itself. At Halloween, we rely the fact that people as happy go lucky as Cheery Pumpkin, will realise we are only poking fun when her pals say…

Cheery Pumpkin’s Slapstick Chums.

Poo! She’s just farted & her bumhole is this big…

Sorry Cheery Pumpkin, but we honestly, just couldn’t let that one get away… Ha! x.

Hire Shop Bananas.

Absolutely terrible. Not spooky at all. Not funny either. Mainstream twaddle & bordering on a crime against Halloween. We expect to see this sort of faeces in the Bigg Market, not in the holy temple of spookiness, that is World Headquarters. Disgraceful…

Kate Bush Lip.

Luckily for this young lady, she has a genetic Kate Bush lower lip, as beyond that, her spookiness appears to amount to little more than some low grade blood work in her pectoral region. 

 Another Low Budget Hire Shop Banana.

Now we have been here before, haven’t we readers..?

Heinz Self Harmer.

You appear to have come as a repressed, middle class, attention craving, privately educated school girl with attachment issues..?

Spooky Something.

A very good facial pose. Very, very, good. The stare is top notch, the lips are on & the left eye socket is right on point. Nice work with the ‘crush your nuts’ hand pose too.

There’s a fine line make up wise, wherein you can just do your face as a kinda death mask & not have to worry about making up your neck. The trick if you are gonna rock that look, is to have absolutely no make up on your neck at all - not even a smudge…

Spooky Something has achieved that balance & has delivered a make up lesson, that many in this competition would do well to take note of.

Ritchie Tenenbaum.

Here your man is being some guy off a film we haven’t seen… Googled a pic of him & he does look like the dude though. Shame he couldn’t have shown a little more maturity, in the content of his (apparently) prepubescent tiny vagina chest wig…

We don’t subscribe to the Belgian school of thought that states  ’If it’s got hair on it, it’s ready…’  Adults only round this way, thank you.

Bloody Hilda.

Hilda Ogden & her Coronation Street chums rocked the whole Grannie Char Lady look back in the day. Here we see it updated for Halloween with what we can all surely agree, is an inadequate amount of blood…

The slippers are class, but scrimping on the claret is not in the true spirit of Halloween. This lady needs to invest. We are looking for buckets, not mooncups…

Gypsy Dancer.

Another candidate for the pasty shop, Gypsy Dancer has nailed her look & it’s a relief to see she’s gone Balklands as opposed to Dale Farm. Appears to have a minute smudge of blood on one of her hands..?  Which unfortunately cannot possibly qualify as spooky. We are looking for a strong, regular & consistent flow, not light, intermittent spotting…

Jammie Dodger.

A class act & people actually audibly cheered him as he approached the queue. It looked home made & whilst not spooky, broke new non spooky costume territory. Simple but effective & well celebrated by his peers.

Hopeless Wastes of Time.

Jesus! Hunt down… catch… rope… petrol… match… you know the drill.

The Trolls.

Mad hair & the toppest quality face scrunching really take this pair to the next level. Nice accessorising of shorts, shoes, bags & hair colours, delivers them as an accomplished duo. The costumes aren’t that adventurous, but Trolls are officially spooky & a massive deal in Scandinavia. Nice bit of international flavour, let’s face it - it is World Headquarters.

Adventure time Gang.

Nice & obscure & well put together. A proper little crew, rocking a minority look.

Thing 1 & Thing 2.

Keeping these minority looks in focus & alive, is a major defining purpose of our Halloween party vibe. Here we have 2 Dr Seuss characters brought to life & back in the headlines…

Dating from way back, you have to ask yourself, were it not for these two, when next in your life you would ever come accross them again..? Excellent revival quota & they both do actually look a bit like the real Thing 1 & 2, which rather topically - makes it spooky…! Very laudible effort & another really great example of minority work.

Harlequin.

There’s a genuine enthusiasm in Harlequin’s pose here & it’s a nice step outside the run of the mill clown vibe. Not that scary, but quality facial scrunching should always be acknowledged at Halloween.

Note to self- Attempts to influence editing of page may result in opening of comedy window…

Ha! If you check the comment section below, Harlequin has been in touch, grumbling that we chose not to use the full frontal shot we took of her. She genuinely thinks she is the best costume in the competition, says she wants her photo changed & is…

‘Not being funny, but… is in it to win it… & how can we expect her to get votes with a headshot… etc., etc.,’

We thought we were doing her a massive favour with the edit & had protected her modesty… Evidently not.

Well she’s certainly being funny now, when you see how desperate she must be for the toilet…

Surely a two pinter..? Best whip that romper suit off & relive yourself Petal…

Luigi & Mario.

These two shop rental cop outs have been comprehensively out tashed by the 118 sisters earlier in this category. They also look like they are about to audition to try to get into the most influential pop group ever to have graced the Planet’s surface - Steps.

Especially him on the left… We really do need more imagination from you next year my loves…

Luigi the Lady.

Ditto, but with 2 extra marks. One for the white gloves & one for not coming over all ‘H’.

Peppermint Butler.

This again is some kinda obscure cartoon guy. He’s from a bizzare TV show called Adventure time. In the actual show, he is just a kind of round, blue, peppermint disc with a face & doesn’t have an incongruous, gurning loon attached to his back, as he appears to have here…

He’s been in touch via the comment section to explain his gurning lunacy is the result of copious amounts of beer, which we accept. Nothing wrong with that pal, in fact well done! It is at a party after all.

Utter Shite.

Total & complete.

Utter Shite part 2.

Almost as bad… Called him self a lumberjack but was kidding only himself with that one. Could have trumped his pal above with a furry little mirkin, had he only made the effort & undone his top button. Not giving him a point for the pose either, but whoever in the background there who is reaching out to drag him offstage, is to be highly commended.

Utter Shite Part 3 (the return).

What on Earth is going on here? Whatever kind of demonic loon he’s trying to portray, cannot possibly get away with insurance man’s shoes. Is he some sort of Vampire… ? As he seems to have a little Vampire tooth there under the little rag he’s got on his head… Whatever it is he’s up to is not assisted by his lack of pose.

At this level of top competitive spookery, the whole body must be contorted to effect the most realistic representation of spookiness (see Zombie Sheep - Animal Kingdom #22). Just using your face is never gonna work, especially if you cover half of it up. Bit of a Muppet Show job.

Utter Shite 4 (Son of).

Ringo Starr in his gran’s poncho..? Whatever he’s attempting here, he’s failed miserably. Teal & his chums are laughing at him in the background, which is both understandable & wholly justified.

Cyborg.

Saw her on the night & can confirm that the photo doesn’t do her costume justice. Even so, the fag doesn’t help at all & the Be-ro is at best patchy. A complicated look, constructed from many elements, will always require dedication to hold it all together. Her delivery just isn’t tight enough so she falls at the last…

Boobie Gran.

BG seems to be a fellow in a gran’s outfit, with large, inflatable, boobie meats. Whether this is actually a costume or just a fetish he’s been waiting to get out of his system for a while, is up for debate.

Jigsaw.

Scary character done well, but not, we feel to the standard of last years Jigsaw, who was a girl & had accessories. Class socks though & the neck make up (though it may be on the way out), is still in place & was at least applied in the first place. Which is more than can be said of many of the other miscreants taking part in this competition.

Snow White.

Bit of a spook bypass going on here & not in the true spirit of things. Zero blood, zero threat, zero pose, zero spook, must surely equal zero points at this level. Nice, totally out of place jacket though…

s

Posessed Doll.

Kinda spooky in the eyes & the knee thing is a cool doll touch. Even though she’s a doll & obviously wouldn’t have any blood, a smattering on the dress, utilising a tad of poetic license, would have ensured a little more spookiness & taken her dress out of the Playschool presenter zone.

Fallen Angel & Queen.

We assume that Fallen Angel must’ve had some wings on her back but due to camera fatigue, we haven’t managed to snap them. We don’t know what Queen is the queen of, but it’s safe to say, she isn’t Betty, Freddy, or Graham Norton.

Hollyoaks Lookalike & Kenneth Williams.

Haven’t got a clue what’s going on here, just know that the bloke on the left looks like he could be off Hollyoaks & the bloke on the right looks a bit Carry On film. You the jury must decide…

Stumbled Upon the Party.

These 3 dwarf, albinos have really gone to town & delivered one of the most utterly convincing transformations of the whole competition…

Oor Willie.

Timeless, timeless, classic Scottish newspaper cartoon column geezer. Simple & rarely seen. A fabulous piece of minority cartoon character revival work. Couldn’t wait to get his bucket down when he saw the camera coming & his pose is historically accurate.

It’s the minority thing nailed & though totally unspooky, must get marks for seasoning the event with such diversity & class.

Alien Victim.

This is effort on a grand scale. She’s started right out of the rule book, by sorting out the bloody eye socket, we’ve all come to know & love. Half a Zombie arm pose into the bargain & a fantastic splatter of pre-sternal neck blood, the colouration of which is 100% on it.

Then to cap it all off, a proper little Alien Spacestation Badge on her sleeve, to accompany what to the untrained eye, appears to be a rather handsome penis, packing a considerable bite… Obviously, you horror experts can all easily identify this as actually an alien life force, bursting forth from her freshly ruptured loin. Magical..!

Surely merits a full frontal… Ding - Dong…!!

Nuns on the Run.

Poor, shop bought twaddle. Nuns on the drink (& providing at least one further example of Ali G paw syndrome), more like.

Saucy Investigator.

A fantastic look for a proper minority character. Rarely seen, as all girls like to pretend Investigators don’t really exist, so that they can never be accused of being one. Saucy Investigator needs to tread very carefully here… She could so easily be drummed out of girls club for giving the game away… 

Striking terror into the hearts of all the boys, Saucy Investigator, has her magnifying glass & is guaranteed to use it, whilst stalking all your recent female facebook friends & thoroughly (& regularly) examining the inbox of your mobile telephone, prior to going in huff for the rest of the year… We’ve all known one, genuinely terrifying…

Mad Scientist.

That’s right, cover your ears, you already know what’s gonna come next… So we’ll keep it short & just give you the outline in three easy to follow stages.

Poor + lazy = character assassination. You do the maths…

Scary Fairy.

It’s a good pose, with excellent use of slightly bent knees, to imply a pre-lunge situation, adding both velocity & possibly height to the imminent clawing. Nice wings & point of note to all Zombies, if your blood isn’t the same colour as her nails, then you are a Vimto merchant…

Halloween Glam Girl.

Another strong contender for our electro-convulsive therapeutic correctional programme. When these costumes were first posted online, it was over 3 pages. Then, as now, Glamour over spookiness was not only a crime on page 1 & 2, it was also a crime on page 3, irrespective of it’s tabloid connotations. For next year Sweetness, get a bucket of raw liver, pour it over your hairdo, stick your arms out in front & say Whoooooooo…! There you go, simples.

I am a Mime.

This is a quality, French-type, mime pose but there’s absolutely nothing scary about it at all… If this was a mime competition, this would win, as it is not - Nil pwah.

All Bases Covered.

This is a great snap, uniting four disciplines of spookiness, Mummies, Daft Ears & Bit of Pen Cats, Low Budget Joke Shop Horn Devils & Corpse Brides. Special mention should go to Mummy, who appears solo, elsewhere in the competition, for once again, really nailing it with the eyes.

Captain Black.

A classic old school TV puppet villain, who appears to be being played this evening by the popular TV & radio light entertainer Paul O’ Grady…

No Eye Deer.

At first glance, we thought Turtle? Then we thought some sort of Harry Potter reject? Perhaps the comments section would be kind enough to enlighten us…?

Thanks to Zombie Masterclass 2011 (Zombie #68)  for telling us that this is apparently Link from Nintendos Zelda (whatever that means..?). If you are voting for her, she remains No Eye Deer.

An Idiot Abroad.

We named him that, so if by some remote chance he did actually come as Carl Pilkington, then his outfit potentially borders on genius.

Cereal Killer.

See what he did with the name there…? Here we see hirsute litte Jimmy, tragically wasting his lycanthropic gift from the Gods. Now that coulda been a genetic Werewolf costume to celebrate!

Lowest Possible Budget Riddler.

Fetch us a stick…  Fetch it now! We intend to hunt you down & administer the beating you so richly deserve, for this atrocious, not even half an effort…

The Riddler..? You haven’t even matched your green jacket & pants!  Where is your make up? Are we missing something..?

Is your pee pee shaped like a question mark & you whipped it out just after the camera flashed or something..?

Check the Riddler in last year’s competition - Now go & sit on the naughty step & have a proper think about what you’ve done…

Katie the Invincible.

Brace yourselves, we all know what happens next. Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie… Where shall we start? Smudged make up? Orange blood? Having a fag? None of these apparently essential components of your costume, are gonna score you points.

Katie, you must show commitment to spookiness, at all times, but especially at Halloween. You need to tighten it up, as in terms of your inner spookiness, on this occasion, you’ve let yourself go. Not a crime against Halloween, just a misdemeanor & we’d all like to see you come back stronger & with more dedication, application & presentation next time.

Minimum Effort Trio.

One bleeding eye socket, between three of you…?!!!  Poor.

Poison Ivy 1.

Ivy has got great, green facial make up that really sets off the red lips. It’s a really great look. The hair colouration is smack on the money & the only drawbacks are the lack of any justifiable Halloween pose & fact that the make up on her body isn’t as vibrant as that on her face. She also has a fag… sticking out of her ear - Spooky!

Poison Ivy 2.

That is a syrup of day-glo proportions! Ivy 2, whilst more vibrant colourwise, has let herself down with minimal facial make up & zero body make up. Whenever you rock a popular look at the party, you must always max every angle.

If you don’t, you can be sure someone else will & here in the Ivy category, as we’ve seen throughout the competition, you must never underestimate the opposition. Imagination, dedication & spookiness. These must be your doctrines.

Spook Technology.

Without doubt, the greatest hand claw posing skills this competition has ever seen go completely to waste, as these two vain little Spooks look at pictures of themselves on their own camera, rather than pay attention to their one opportunity to make a lasting mark on this competition.

A tragic waste of spook talent, that has genuinely upset us, when we think what could’ve been. Never was  there a finer claw etc. etc. She is the claw that got away…

Twisted Assassin.

Dunno if he’s off a movie or what? But he looks canny hire shop & is so obviously a mask that he compromises his own spook factor, by over guilding the lilly. Costumes from hire shops are the curse of Halloween, stifling genuine creativity & the true art of spookiness.

If you have little children in your family, make sure you impart this important information to them, so that by a process of education, breeding & evolution, we can eradicate this blight on our society forever.

The Joker 1.

Where is his syrup? It’s an essential part of the Heath Ledger - Joker legacy. Face make up wise, he’s strong & whilst he rocks an effective rubber glove vibe, we prefer Matron’s ( Zombie section #44).

The Joker 2.

Take 2 - This one’s got the syrup, but his make up simply isn’t strong enough & his neck (which we now intend to wring) is devoid of all make up. If he expects to win anything looking like that, he truly is a flippin’ Joker.

Wonder Woman.

Held her look well, even though she seemed slightly the worse for the drink in the queue, was very keen to get her pose on & then apparently fell asleep half way through…? Was quite tall too, so held it together in an Amazonian stylee, up until the snoring started…

Ronald McDonald.

At World Headquarters we hate McDonalds. We only just let a Zombie Ronald McDonald slip through the net last year & are not about to tolerate anything to do with him this year.

Call it harsh, but our lives & those of the animals & ecosystems with which, we share the planet, are shaped by the choices we make. F**k off Ronald.

N-Sync.

Ha! x.

The Hitcher 1.

Hitcher 1 has the obligatory syrup & all the essential elements of the look. He is however, totally upstaged by Zombie Charlie Chaplin in the background, who having got over not maximising his potential in his own photo, has now decided to really turn it on, spooking Hitcher right out of the park with a sinister cameo of the highest order.

The Hitcher 2.

It’s a classic underestimating the opposition job that we’ve had to mention so many times in this competition. Very weak make up, totally upstaged by his namesake above, who as we already know was in turn snookered by the boy Charlie. It’s been a bad year for Hitchers & could even see them slip forever from the competition.

Leg Cocking Male Nurse.

Does exactly what it says on the tin. You can just see the tip of what seems to be his pee pee, all purple, like a little randy poodle’s, peeping out there, just beneath his gusset…

Half a Hulk Costume.

We think he’s being the Hulk, but if he is where’s the torn pants..? He hasn’t got enough blood on him to qualify as Zombie Hulk & we all know Hulk is rock, so it’s not like he’s been chinned by someone & got some little wounds.

Overall this appears to be an ill conceived effort & a criminally wasted opportunity, to properly exhibit what looks as though it could just be a vagina chest wig, of some considerable merit…

The Lumberjack.

This is a great pose & his beard is working a treat for the Lumberjack vibe. He’s got a nice home made axe & with an investment in some fake blood, could’ve doubled his chances & thus his potential votes.

Tinkerbell.

Now this is a weird one because with both her face & her pose, she has absolutely nailed Tinkerbell. The angle of the head, the arms, the eyes & facial expression are all dead on it. A very simple look, with few components, really well executed. If we had to pick fault, it would only be with the recently used tampon that appears to be clagged on the side of her face… Otherwise, excellent.

Harry Botter.

We’ve taken the liberty of giving his name a public schoolboy remix, to accurately reflect what his character embodies…

Here he does actually look like the little, fictitious twerp, responsible in both his nonsense books & films, for promoting low standards of Witchery & numerous dilutions of & crimes against Halloween. As such, we just can’t bring ourselves to like this, or say anything positive about it.

Thus, this unfortunate contender is totally skuppered by choosing to emulate what we, here at World Headquarters, epicentre of spookiness in Newcastle, view as a Halloween traitor.

Hire Shop Spiderman.

He’s just not Halloween & the fact he’s put no effort into making his costume, will certainly serve to keep him out of the prize reckoning. All you Shop Bought Jimmies & Hire Shop Charlies should wise up & look to contenders like Die Pod & 5* Zip Girl to get an idea of just how much you need to up your game to get anywhere with this malarky.

Absolutlely Fabulous.

Pastiche of the 2 bints off the telly, not really zombified & looks like they’ve dipped their entire faces in the marching powder, before they clagged their lipstick on. This factor & the double actness of their groove, actually makes them quite good…

Oompa Loompa.

Half decent make up job, bar the hands. Not a lot to it really, half a job, needed to spray a lot more green in her hair to live up to the name.

Sweeney Todd.

Great look. Excellent hair, fantastic make up (neck included), always nice to see a cut throat razor, utilised as a weapon of terror. Very, very on point.

Wednesday Adams.

She’s captured the dourness of Wednesday to perfection & played the part well, keeping a dead pan face throughout her time in the queue. This made us wonder if she was perhaps just a weirdo, so when she said she was actually Wednesday Adams, we all heaved a sigh of relief.

Clark Kent.

Superman is not scary. Though we appreciate you are presenting your subject in mid-transformation, historically, this would require you constructing a small, cardboard phonebox & carting it round with you for the duration of the evening.

The fact you’ve cut corners & chosen not to do that, or be spooky, has undermined your chances of being seen as an innovative or serious contender.

Not Quite David Bowie.

Here we see David Bowie as the Gnome King from the movie Labyrinth. In the film he is fully, bona fide scary. Unfortunately, our friend here hasn’t stayed true to the script, or projected his spookiness to its full potential. She has also omitted to steal a baby & use dance magic on him…

Pulp Fiction Mini Corner.

Mrs Marcellis Wallis.

You all know the scene, John Travolta’s drug dealing pal whacks a syringe of adrenaline, through Uma Thurman’s breastplate. Nice choice, bit pink on the blood, but the passed out eyes work, even though she’s omitted all of the the snot & dribble, that was such a centrepiece of the movie scene.

The Gimp.

Sauce meets satan. Another good example, of a young lady wishing to incorporate sauce into her Halloween look, whilst also paying close attention the the requisite degree of spookiness. A well-balanced look.

Tragic Loser.

We gave him this name, prior to us working out that he was probably that Twilight Vampire guy off the telly. We had assumed his costume consisted of that little bat ring he’s got & some little kisses he’d drawn on himself. Apologies, you’ll get over it mate.

Hire Shop Captain America.

We believe this hire shop costume is best summed up in the words of  the truly innovative, influential & inspirational pop super group… Steps, in their cover version of that godawful BeeGees song…

Rod Stewart.

This is the art of the syrup taken to a whole new level… Rod Stewart is funny in real life so therefore he is a top target for a quality pastiche. Under normal circumstances, basing your entire costume around just a wig would be unacceptable, but the cheek, gall & endearing humour contained in this particular effort, gets him a pass.

Missed a couple of tricks, firstly by not pretending to be from Scotland - Cockney Rod always does that & secondly by not arriving with a small, new born, premature foetus on his arm, wearing a wedding ring.

The Headless Horseman.

Jesus! That is home made & unfortunately on first glance, quite terrible… Not a horse in sight & you can see her own actual head, peeping out from under the binbag. We do like the head she is carrying though & her fake neck wound & bow tie…

This is so home made it could just be be a grower mind… It’s so DIY & just so unashamedly pants!

Columbo.

Recently deceased, Peter Falk, would be pleased to know that he is now, in death, an official World Headquarters Halloween competition character.

Though great to see, we have to point out that this costume has not been properly executed, as there are no signs of Zombiedom & we all know that ruffled old Columbo would never dress that smart.

Still a refreshing addition to the pallette, we would hope to see it reconceived, with a little more historical accuracy next time round.

The Boy Shrek.

Looks like Shrek, gotta give him that, but it’s a joke shop job innit & while not devoid of merit, scores no points for either imagination or creativity.

Frida Kahlo.

Ha ha! Love it, he really has pulled one out of the bag here. This is minority costume application at its very finest. Granted she’s dead & he hasn’t zombified her but she’s such an obscure choice, he’s got it locked.

The tash thing is simply so hilarious, it’s hard to believe that none of you boys have ever tried this before. One of the most original choices of subject matter in the whole competition & a really  great look to see represented.

Well done mate, switched on art students all over the city are clapping their hands.

Saucy (if a bit low budget), Pirate.

No one is questioning either her H, or her P, but is her costume actually spooky..? We think not. Were it not for the little anchor pendant this would be what is commonly know on the yard arm as a non starter. Now if only she had been a lad… called Jim.

Lady Gaga.

Ha! She’s nailed it. Lady Gaga is easy to do ‘cos we all know she’ll wear anything. Still, the cans of pop in her hair are hilarious & it’s a confident, assured pose that we like a lot. Proof that to be your look - you gotta own your look.

Gollum.

He’s got his pose smack on & it’s one of the more striking photos we’ve had this year. However, it is just a mask & with competition this fierce & so many people having made such a massive effort, it’s hard to see his peers putting him up on the winners rostrum. Nice fist, though again somehow conjuring up mental images of Matron ( Zombie section #44).

David Brent.

A ludicrous hire shop costume that does actually work & was really funny. Love the way he’s nailed that Ricky Gervais facial thing, but really needed to gain a few pounds to really DeNiro the role properly.

Breaking News… We have now held a Stewards enquiry as a result of recently posted comments that Ronnie the Dog has brought to our attention.

As a result of this, we are now able to officially confirm, that this outfit was home made & is not shop bought.

This raises it from the simply ludicrous, to the home made & simply ludicrous, surely adding value in both the vote & devotion to chattiness departments.

Gazza.

We all remember the classic Moatie stand off & the outstanding telephone interview that Gazza gave to a local radio station…? Here is Gazza with his negotiational offerings. Unfortunately, despite the laugh out loud humour of this idea, he’s missed a couple of tricks.

The chicken should’ve been cooked (& for historical accuracy from KFC) & he’s missing a can of lager. The can of lager is essential, as it was that, mentioned at the end of his speech, which propelled the whole radio interview into comedic hyperspace. A great effort though, really, really funny on the night & certainly one we’ll doubtless see again over the years.

Carrie.

Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. This is proof that by correctly choosing your subject matter, you can do really well in this competition. Here Carrie actually does look a little bit ilk of Sissy Spacek, like she could be a distant cousin or something. She’s used this to her advantage, in picking the classic, tragic prom Queen, as her muse.

You may or may not be familiar with the story, so to recap, Carrie is picked on in High School & ridiculed by her peers. She develops telekinetic powers & after having pigs blood tipped on her head at the Prom, by her so called freinds, wreaks a bloody & brutal revenge.

Can you get more spooky than that..? She’s a really old skool character & to revive her, with this degree of aptitude is a Halloween triumph, make no mistake.

Proof once again, at World Headquarters, you participate in the greatest of all Halloween costume competitions. Let’s hear it for diverse, minority, old skool, spookiness!

Bath Lady.

It’s fancy dress, but it’s not officially spooky until you’re over the age of 65.

Keith Lemon.

Cult leader of the vagina chest wig (ginger division), Keith Lemon is a great choice. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the leopard tooth pendant, which is his trade mark & is slightly lacking in fake tan. Also the fact that her whole costume basically consists of a fairly standard syrup & a ginger chest mirkin, means it’s doubtful that she’ll hit the heights in the vote department. Still a funny one though & the hands are on it.

Vito Corleone.

Certainly working nicely on his chin, his assured pose is undermined by the fact that there’s not enough of him. Vito was much heavier set, but we suppose you can only work with what Nature gives you.  The eyebrow/mouth scrunch ratio is good.

The Demon.

So often, we see a natural born Werewolf (check those arms), wasting a genuine naked posing opportunity, on shop bought twaddle. There are much, much better masks on sale in this city than that. Spookyish, but low budget with it. Please play to your hairy little frame next time.

Almost Jimmy Saville.

He’s not meant to be Jimmy Saville at all & we dunno who he is meant to be, but the fact he looks uncannily like him certainly in terms of syrup, brings a tear to our eye. With dear Jimmy sadly passing around Halloween time, a tracksuit & minimal Zombification, could’ve lifted this young chap to the very apex of the topicality stakes. Chance missed.

Braveheart.

Nice bruised looking head, but his filofax (or whatever that is there in his paw) lifts him right off the battlefield & plonks him straight into the new Waitrose on Osborne Road.

Nice try though & judging from his clenched fist, he too is hoping to bump into Matron (Zombie section #44) & seems well able to clearly demonstrate precisely what service he wishes her to administer…

Shit Robot.

And not a lot more. Home made? Yes. Good enough? No.

He’s now been in touch via the comment section crying that he is the LMFAO Shuffle Robot & everyone knows who he is - Really..? Missing a gold suit if that is the case, but thankfully not as totally pants as we first thought. Wonder if he did the dance…

Multiple Disciplines….

In decending order, the categories featured in the Multiple Discipline section are…

Brides - Beetle Juicers - Devils - Witches - Swans - Red R Hoods - Clockwork Oranges - Medusas - Furry Mirkins - Scarecrows - Marilyns - Prom Queens - Vampires Spiderwomen - Skeletons - Egyptians - Cruellas - Cave Women - Scooby Doo - Amy Winehouse - Alice in Wonderland - Clowns - Bat/Cat women - Ed Scissorhands - Marie Antoinettes - Ninja Turtles - Mummy

Brides, Corpse & otherwise…

The bride category is always popular, as the idea of an innocent, preferably virgin bride, struck down in the prime of her life, has a special Halloween ring to it. Frankenstein had one, so did Drac & you can’t argue with the top boys.

Bride 1. Bride of Fagin.

Here we see a classic example, with quality sunken eyes & a cool dress, let down somewhat by the little ’oliver twist’ booties she has on there.

Bride 2. Mixed up Bride. 

Bit of a mash up of styles here… We all know purple is officially a witches colour, so the wig doesn’t really go. The bloodwork is fading a bit too & though the palms of the hands are strong & the bodily pose quite tight, the face is a little too happy for the true spookiness of Halloween. Dog’s dinner job.

Bride 3. Stare Bride.

This is more like it… Still not addressing every element, but a good overall effort. Not sure about the fag, kinda detracts from the whole dead thing she’s trying to go for, but she’s well in the zone spook wise & the eyes work bigtime.

Bride 4. Neckless Bride.

Make up that stops on your neck…? No wonder you are horrified! Good dress, good hair, great sunken eyes, excellent dress clutching pose, all ruined by lack of make up on neck & cleave area. Can & must do better.

Bride 5. The Corpse Minidress.

Nice vulnerable pose, great eyebrow tilt, obligatory veil - you girls above can all learn from this little look. Still needs more make up on that neck though, as like Bride 4, this lets the side down there. Nice yearn in the eyes.

Bride 6. Blue Hair Bride.

We are now entering the quality end of the bridal market. Excellent overall pallor, eyebrow tilt, no veil, but we are hoping it’s attached to the flower arrangement on her hair & out of sight down her back. Top pout & overall a good turn.

Bride 7. Grannies dress Bride.

Quality! Loving the little stoop she has going on there. She told us in the queue that she was wearing her Gran’s actual wedding dress, which is a quality touch especially considering her topical granny stoop. Needs a little more make up on her heed, but the strength of her pristine white syrup carries it off for her. An excellent effort, topped off with a quality bloodshot stare.

Bride 8. The Dark Bride.

In contrast to all the other white clad ones, the dark Bride seems quite cheery. That could be because she may not actually be a virgin, like all the Corpse ones have to be.

Or perhaps she isn’t really getting married at all, so isn’t anxious about giving up both her identity &  independence to a lame, out of date institution, that in the long term will only make her miserable & mean she gets no sex… Who can say..?

She rocks a cool look though & that Halloween claw is right on point. Nice veil too.

Bride 9. Zombie Bride.

She has the lot here… She’s stayed within the genre, but stepped outside of convention & made this look her own. Fantastic ‘puppet string’ zombie arm pose action & a really great make up job with high octane sunken eyes, with one socket bleeding. Slashed throat, cut head, black eyes, ouch! She went out fighting on her wedding day for sure!

Real class & that’s before you see that she’s even gone for witches tights! A top quality rework of the entire Halloween staple that is the bridal groove. Top marks! Also one of the most effective contact lens rocks of the competition. Vacant..!

Beetle Juicers….

BJ 1.  Limp hair Beetle Juice.

Mate, what happened with the hair..? See your Mrs & her pal below… Have you actually seen the movie..? Great stare, but you cannot seriously rock that pitious level of hair do, accompanied by what amounts to barely half a pose, in this standard of competition. You look like Marilyn Manson, on a Saturday afternoon at the match…

BJ 2. Mrs Beetle Juice.

Fantastic hair & pose. Others in this contest would do well to take a leaf out of your book.

BJ 3. Liverpuddlian Beetle Juice.

He’s got the hair right, but the scousers ‘calm down’ hands are all wrong. You need to take a bit more notice of  your Missus mate & sort your pose out.

The Devils… Ah, how we love the Devils, always a category that hits the spot & demands respect! The Devil is the very apex of spookiness & is always a great privilege to see in the Club on Halloween.

Devil 1. Lady Devil.

Pose could have been tighter & missing any real scowl. Tail nicely on display, though not high quality enough to negate the fluffy horns… The Devil - with fluffy little featherie horns…?  That Madame, is a crime against Halloween.

Devil 2. Glam Devil.

The glam thing always gets to the ladies on Halloween. Many can’t decide whether to actually be spooky, or use it as an excuse to be glam & saucy instead. Glam Devil has taken the latter route & thus is rocking a nice appealing look, that shall however, earn her no points. How many times do we have to tell you people…? Spookiness before glamour at all times. We’re afraid you’ll have to go in the book… for a very large electric shock.

Devil 3. Posie Devil.

Great stance, somewhat undermined by lack of trident, lack of red paint & horns from that daft Magic Box shop on Percy Street. Carrie laughs in the background, drenched in pig’s blood,  knowing she is well safe in the originality stakes…

Devil 4. Handsome Devil.

An accomplished pose & the bravery of an all over romper suit. You wonder if it’s so hot in hell, his wee wee just evaporates..? Championship scowl, amazing genetic head shape, let down by shite, crappy, shop bought trident.

Devil 5. Copycat Devil.

Hang on a minute… This dude has the exactly same romper suit & trident as Devil 4 above..! What is this…?! Some kinda ’boil in the bag’ Devil action!!? Both of you should be ashamed & begin whittling original & individual tridents for next year, out of a log you find deep in the woods.

‘Shame on you! Twaddle! Rubbish! etc etc.’ (that is what your peers are shouting at their computer screens, as they look at you, right now).

Outfit duplication is a crime against Halloween & topically, here at World Headquarters, the global epicentre of Halloween spookiness, we sincerely hope you both burn in Hell…

Devil 6. Original Devil.

No horns… no trident… no tail… but what a look! Original Devil is exactly that. An amazing pose, could even be pose of the competition! Given the limited elements to his look, the fact that he totally gets away with it & pulls it all off, smashing this category with such aplomb - is a miracle of biblical proportions.

This man is a credit to Halloween & unlike those shop bought devil chancers 4 & 5, he does not need your sympathy… (see what we did there music lovers…? Ha!)

The Witches….

Witches, like Devils are an essential element of the Halloween landscape. There are rules to witchery & here at World Headquarters we try to encourage correct Witch costume application. Therefore, we will be more critical of this, than any other category.

We only do this purely for your benefit, as Spookiness & Witchery, just like Voodoo & Juju, matter… & because they matter, they must never be compromised.

Welcome to our 2011 Witch Correction Programme…

Witch 1. Zombie Witch.

Her blood & wounds identify her as a Zombie but without her pointy hat, she’s on a hiding to nothing. One mark for the pose, no marks for forgetting your essential kit.

Witch 2. Tracey Emin Witch Lookalike.

Bearing a slight, sultry resemblance, to a famous artist who likes a bit of slap & tickle in a tent, cannot be allowed to get you off the hook for not having a buckle on your hat. What were you thinking..?! This is basic Witchery & you must study harder & resit next year. Stripey tights as well love, play the game.

Witch 3. Wicked Witch of Finland.

It might be alright in Finland, Petal, but in World Headquarters our Witches have buckles on their hats. Also complexion wise, you need work. Little bit too glowing with the skin tones, so you need to seriously question your diet, if you are going to make a career in the dark arts. It’s eye of newt, leg of toad & tongue of rat…

Not that macrobiotic, healthy, vitamin filled nonsense that you’ve obviously been wasting all of our time with. While you’re at it sweetie, try & cop yourself a coupla warts.

Witch 4. Westside Witch.

Witches are not ‘a bit Hip Hop’. Halloween is in no way related to Hip Hop. Witches are supposed to claw at you, not make Ali G type hand gestures…

This behaviour is totally unacceptable & coupled with the fact that you too, have ignored the basic discipline of a silver hat buckle, amounts to a disgrace. All the points you’ve scored for use of the colour purple (the official colour of Witchery), use of the colour green on your syrup (another staple in the Witches pallette) & your obligatory stripey Witch tights come to nothing…

So stop pissing around. Get a buckle, put it on your hat, straighten your bliddy fingers out into a claw like gesture & start thinking about transport… All you lame Witches need bringing into line. This is World Headquarters & what’s right is right.

Witch 5. Pink Hat Witch.

Purple, purple, purple, purple, PURPLE!! What is wrong with you woman..?!! Why are you carrying a kiddies wand & wearing a pink lined hat? Pink & Christmas cracker wands have no place on Halloween whatsoever & unless you are the Tooth Fairy & you have fallen in a pot of ink, your costume is an insult to Halloween. Turn up in this garb next year & you are going straight on the fire…

Witch 6. Slap ‘n’ Tickle Witch.

We are supposed to be spooking people here… Turn down the sauce hinny, turn up the spook factor & (must we repeat ourselves..?) get a bliddy hat buckle!

You are redeemed slightly by your shiny, black Doc Martins, which (in the abscence of ruby slippers…) are a quality Witching touch, but could you please put purple laces in them next time?

Witch 7. Slap ‘n’ Tickle Witch, the Return. 

Another case of sauce over spookiness. We are not looking for pouts from our Witches. We are looking for spookiness. The idea of a tiny Witch hat, worn as more of a decoration than a working titfer, is not in the true sprit of Halloween.

Your pointy hat is supposed to provide you an aerodynamic advantage & vital stabilisation, whilst proceeding through the night sky on your broomstick. Broomstick safety is not a joke, unlike your hat, which let’s face it, you’re never gonna get a buckle to fit anyway. 

You’ve not only let yourself down, you’ve let Halloween & the cult of spookiness in general down too. Take note of the commitment shown by the last Witch in this category & then seriously reconsider your career path.

Witch 8. Bee Witched.

Clever play on words with the name of her costume, given her bee-like,stripey tights. They’re a winner unlike her use of white material elsewhere on her outfit, with which she has corrupted the very soul of Witchery. Witches Pay Attention…!! Purple, black, green, dark blue, red shoes - Full Stop.

Witch 9. More of a Warlockess.

She gets away with no hat, no buckle & no broomstick, with an original & striking take on the Witchy genre. More of a true female Wizard, her confident look & excellent work with the big collar, is a credit to Halloween.

Ah… The vodka’s kicked in now & the eyes are closing. Luckily, her arm akimbo, Fumanchu sleeve saves the day…

Witch 10. Almost There Witch.

Virtually every element is here… Stripey tights, black dress, spooky claw pose, plenty purple, touch of green, (at least an attempt of)  hat buckle, but even with all this she lets herself down by failing to attend to the basics… No Broomstick!! She was so, so close…

Witch 11. Wicked Witch of the East.

It’s a classic & original look. Obviously a home made costume, which is within the true spirit of Halloween & the ruby slippers are a connoisseur touch. Bit of a shame that with such a fantastically original idea of rocking a house on her head, she’s let herself down with low budget green make up & lack of house detail.

Next year we hope to see a little battery pack in there with the windows lighting up, cloth curtains & perhaps even a little satellite dish, to bring it all neatly up to date. Still among the most original costumes this year. With a little more application to spookiness, makeup & house detail this could have finish line potential.

Witch 12. Ashleigh The One Element Witch.

That element is purple & that alone does not a Witch make, nor does Ashleigh’s half-baked claw qualify as a spooky pose.  Sorry Ashleigh, but you have no chance of finishing in the top 300 with this tragic, unaccessorised, lack lustre effort. For your own good, we’ve put you down in the secret, naughty book & we all know what that means….

Witch 13. One Element Witch Chapter Two.

Poor, poor poor, poor, poor! Must we list all the essential Witch elements you are missing..? No we shall not. Having read this category over, you should be well aware by now of what is required & just how shoddy your lame get up is.

A black dress on it’s own, is just a black dress on it’s own… It’s not a witches outfit. Ashleigh has just gone in the naughty book… You want that to happen to you too..? We will be watching you closely next year & if you do not improve your Witchery, you are straight on the Ducking Stool - No arguments!

Witch 14. Bella Trix.

Apparently one of Harry Potter’s gang & part of the new fangled, child-friendly modern day witchery - that we so despise…

The updating of classic Witchery is something here at World Headquarters, we will quite simply never, ever endorse. This is a fairly accurate portayal of her, as she doesn’t have a hat in the movies, which in our book makes her an imposter. Sorry, but you picked the wrong witch sweetie & as a consequence, we shall have to burn you alive…

Witch 15. The Green Witch. 

Now, at long last, we are in back in business. Fantastic green full body make up, text book pose inc. genuine Witches’ claws &  the merest glimpse of stripey tight, makes for near perfection in the Witching game.

The fact that she hasn’t got a hat buckle is going to be overlooked, on this one occasion. She has a little broomstick tucked under her arm there & her overall look is virtually faultless. All the Witches above should take note. This is the level of Witchery excellence, at which you must compete to be a winner in this, the most competitive of Witching arenas. Soak up that look, then see the next amazing photo below…

It’s a masterclass in grade A Witchery. Witch 15 when we next bump into you, you shall be awarded with a complimentary hat buckle courtesy of WHQ. Simply outstanding!

Assorted Black & White Swans…

The swan thing has kicked off big time this year from out of nowhere, due to that movie about the deranged missus that dances about.

Swans 1. & 2. Friendly Swans. 

Nice Swans, but doesn’t this genre demand a bit of ballet & a crazed stare..?

Swan 3. Glamorous Swan.

Again, very nice Black Swan, but no ballet, or look of demented radgeness is apparent in her confident & classy presentation.

Swan 4. Swan in a Parking Bay.

She’s got the ballet, she’s got the eye makeup, but sadly, she’s just not deranged. Where is the spookfactor..?

Swan 5. The Cheating Swan.

The ballet is there, but it appears to be being assisted by a member of the general public. In the true world of swans, such an infraction would be met with a swift peck on the neck. She’s a bit too happy as well. Is this category ever going to deliver the nervous breakdown we so desperately require?

Ha! Seems like we’ve got it with fans of this girl now sounding at the start of the the comment section below… Humour, sense of…remember..?

Swan 6. Swan on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. 

Trying real hard, but looks like she’s acting kinda mad, rather than being mad. A valiant attempt that falls at the last.

Swan 7. Top Swan.  

Check her out, there’s your thousand yard stare, right there. Proper radge pot! It’s a tight face, with the right eye makeup & what a Halloween triumph the blood on her wing tips makes! Our strongest Swan, given the spooky context, in which we operate. Totally owing her look. All other Swans take note…

Little Red Riding Hoods…

A contemporary children’s classic, which now accepted as a  Halloween genre, has evolved it’s own individual rules around detail, content, accessories & commitment.

Red Riding Hood 1. Just a Hood.

Rule of thumb with any Halloween costume is that if you only have one element, you have to have real commitment to carry it off (see Devil 6 above).

Unfortunately, for our red-lipped friend, she is missing a basket for Grandma & any element of spookiness. You must try to take your costume further next year sweetie & reaffirm your inner resolve to pursue spookiness in a truthful & thorough manner.

Red Riding Hood 2. Pinky.

This is Little Pink Riding Hood, so despite her having brought Grandma’s basket, she has not stayed true to the fundamental requirements of the role. The clue is in the name…

Red Riding Hood 3. Little Dead Riding Hood. 

A great play on words with her costume title & a full on, bright red hood, come bonnet type cloak affair, that puts her smack in the zone. The zombification of her chosen subject falls well within the remit of Halloween & she is to be praised for both her imagination & application. Handbag should be a basket - But this is a bit more like it.

Red Riding Hood 4. Bang on Red Riding Hood.

This is an excellent effort. Grandma’s basket is a proper weave, the blood red cloak & the wood-chopper’s hatchet for cutting off the wolf’s head, all combine in a functional & historically correct pose. Halloween costumerie at it’s very finest. Loving the blood on the axe, as it removes the initial threat & implies that choppery is already well under way & with a smile too!

Had she brought a friend to stand beside her, dressed as a Grannie in a nightgown & covered in what appeared to be digestive juices… This competiton could have been over! Top marks that girl!!

Clockwork Oranges….

Always a difficult genre to nail, Clockwork Oranges appear every year, with varying degrees of success. Not a Halloween staple, so we can afford to be a little looser in our enforcement of Halloween values within this category.

1. Clockwork Orange - Lack of Menace.

We aren’t really very scared of her & it’s a shame as the look with the cane & all, is nice & tight. Not sure the heels are appropriate..?  But having been so hard on all the witches, we’ll go easy on her.

2. Clockwork Orange - A Bit More Like It.

That’s more the ticket, arrogant swagger & proper boots. Good work.

3. Clockwork Orange - Panty boy.

As above, but it appears he’s taken it a bit further & actually brought some oranges with him, down his pants..?

4. Tupp’ny, Elastic Band-Powered Satsuma…

This is a lame effort by anyones standards, thus the name we’ve decided to give her.

Which accurately reflects her complete costume ineptitude.

Medusas… Historically, stares & snakes a good Medusa make…

Medusa 1.  Thrupp’ny Mix Medusa.

A quality scowl - but snakes made from Haribo jelly worms… Really?

Medusa 2.  All Night Garage Medusa.

Slight raise in snake quality, but still under tuppence each from the all night Garage. Looks too sweet & demonstrates a complete lack of stone turning stare…

Medusa 3. Toga Party Medusa.

Got the snakes right at last, nice & erect, with a bit of life to them. On with the stare & claw, not quite sure about the white toga bit though… Always thought Medusa was a more sinister character? As always only you, the voters can decide.

Furry Mirkin department…

Now we all know what a mirkin is right…? A neat little furry pubic wig that mad american ladies wear, well it seems that this year the boys are getting into it too!

Fur Mirkin 1.

Here we see Teal Griffin, the famous artist, with a low budget attempt at a mirkin scrawled onto his chest.

Fur Mirkin 2.

Here we have a chap who has gone to a substantial effort to rock a quite fetching zombie vibe, only to have it overshadowed by what can only be described as a vagina wig, smack in the middle of his chest…

Why he even bothered getting made up, when he could simply have rocked that natural 70’s style, hairy growler he has on his cleave there, is beyond us. Wolfman costume next year mate, just come butt naked.

Scarecrows… Never many, but always a few, Scarecrows are a good costume idea as not many people do them & less people do them well.

Scarecrow 1. Orange face.

He’s kept it simple & seems to be crossing it with a kinda old skool french farmer type groove. Points lost for lack of neck make up.

Scarecrow 2. Staring Scarecrow.

It’s a great pose, embracing & projecting the stiffness of the straw, whilst managing to hold down a strong element of spookiness. Using yellow crepe paper, instead of real straw must however, lose him marks - Bad call.

Scarecrow 3. The Scarecrow Street Gang.

This we really, really like. Proper straw, nice mix of gender in the gang & a cool execution, as obviously anything scary - will always be scarier if there’s a gang of them.

Real airs of both distance & menace in the poses & as a group shot, it’s up there with this years best, in terms of compositon, depth & spook factor. We’ll be watching the voting on this one, as that there readers, is true, proper spookiness & what this competition is all about.

Marilyns…

Marilyn 1. Classic Norma Jean.

Yup you can’t argue she’s nailed the look. But you also have to agree the hair’s a bit candy floss & it’s not in the slightest bit spookified.

Marilyn 2. Zombie Norma Jean.

That’s smack on the money & it’s Halloween magnificence tonks the boottocks of the contender above. In terms of topicality, given the occasion, this is the dopest Marilyn you could possibly wish for.

The blood work around the lips, indicating a zombie who has recently fed, is a quite simply a masterwork. Very, very high quality & very very well done to that young lady.

Prom / Pageant Queens… This was a massive category last year that has shrunk somewhat this year under a glut of Black Swans & Corpse Brides. A horror classic, everyone can enjoy a properly butchered prom Queen & they are the very lifes blood of the Halloween festivities.

Prom Queen 1. Prom in the Pink.  

Bit short on the blood here, we prefer our prom queens with a little bit of entrail on the go. None the less a good effort & points must be given for the lopsided head, which as we all know, is a classic slashed throat consequence.

Prom Queen 2. Prom Sneerer.

Liking her sneer & let’s face it, bleeding eyes equal points in this game. Still not really enough blood splattered around for our tastes & at least one of the hands should have been raised & her throat cut.

Prom queens 3 & 4. Miss Infinity & Miss High Heaton.

We know them both in real life & they are not prom queens at all, they are actually a couple of irritating little witches, so we don’t know what they are playing at here..? Ha!

Prom Queen 5 & Zombie Granny.

Prom queen 5 here on the left, has got the blood thing properly organised & is to be commended. Looks like Cereal Killer in the background is about to crock her some more..?  Zombie Granny is hitting a cool pose here too alongside her & the little green hatchet is a cute touch.

Vampires… are a bit like witches, you gotta mark them hard as they are a cornerstone of Halloween culture.

Vampire 1. Bin Liner Cape.

Not sure a bin liner cape can be allowed for a Vampire at this, the upper level of spook conflict. Think lush velvets, with blood red or deep purple linings… We are all for DIY at Halloween, but a bin liner cape for a Vampire, is like putting a Burberry charver cap on Nelson Mandela from where we are sitting. See Vampire 6  for cape tips below. Also where are the teeth..? Spookiness must be taken seriously!

Vampire 2. Lame Duck Vampire who secretly wanted to be a Witch.

Pet lamb, it’s simply not good enough… Think about it, to be a Vampire you are missing (at the bear minimum) just a cape & some pointy teeth…

The amount of vital equipment you are missing to be a Witch…? Please don’t get us started on all that again!

Just put the chopstick down.. put it down… We all know you harbour Witch aspirations, but we have transfered you into this category for your own good. Please accept our spook instruction, we know what we are on about & what is in your best interests.

You pal, are simply not cut out to be a Witch. Yes, there could be lots of reasons, but let’s be kind & just say that perhaps you are too nice a person..? Regardless, that effort you are making there, with your bit chopstick, is pitious…

Hang around & we’ll sort you some pointy gnashers out, a red lined cape & you can be on your way. Witching is outside your capabilities. This is your new category & your destiny is now to be a Vampire.

You’ll be thanking us next Halloween & we’d rather you thought of it as a simple career change, rather than a full blown intervention.

Vampires 3, 4 & 5. Vampire Triplets.

Slightly overexposed photo due to the spookiness of Halloween. All three ladies are tres vampish, but must lose marks for not flashing their pointy teeth. Three nice sets of lips though & the suggestion of blood is there with all of them, so we won’t grumble too much. Wish we’d got a better shot so apologies all round.

Vampire 6. Irish Looking Vampire.

She’s got the flame red hair thing locked & it counterbalances the face make up well, but once again, where’s the pointy teeth..?

Vampire 6. Draculina.

There’s a proper vampire cape for ya. Nice red lining, good bodice centric stance with arms akimbo. She’s still not giving it the pointed toothed sneer that we all know this degree of competitive endevour demands though. A near miss…

Vampire 7. Drac’s Mrs.

Fantastic makeup work here, from her indoors. Good cape & eyes too. If fact we have only three real grumbles, which we’d hope she can accept as constructive critisism…

You shoulda fetched the hubby with you for a couple shot & you aren’t rocking your teeth. Also given the exemplary quality of your Be-ro, two little red puncture wounds on the neck wouldn’t have gone amiss & would have really set you right off.

As you well know we’re not one’s to nit pick, but when it comes down to spookiness - what’s right is right.

Vampire 8. Perfect Fangs.

It’s on! It’s on.!! It’s on..!!! Check out the fangs on this little madame! Excellent. They look like her own teeth & with her pale look & dark eyes, she exudes the requisite vampish charm required to make others give in & wanna join the gang. This is a really acomplished Vampire realisation. Absoutely top of the class! 

Vampire 9. Wonky Teeth.

Hee hee hee! Lordy, & just when it was all starting to go so well.. Hilarious! Class hand gesture, but dearie me, put your gnashers in straight love! An opportunity missed if ever we saw one…

Vampire 10. Sinister Drac.

This dude was a class act. Doesn’t just look real spooky, he came accross all spooky on the night too. A true craftsman, check those eyes…

Spiders… This one of those categories that you can take as far as you want, as demonstrated by this years varied spider crop below.

Spider 1. Kinda Vampish Spiderwoman.

Happy go lucky & rocking her pose, but unfortunately lacking we feel, in both spook factor & accesories to win big this year.

Spider 2. Charlottes Web.

Nice stance, fab gown & cool spider skullcap. Getting there but short on some legs…

Spider 3. Blonde Spider Girl.

This is a top effort, with all legs apparently in place & puppetry skills to move them around. Has regretably made a schoolgirl error though & not counted her own actual two legs in with her costume…

This has meant she’s ended up with ten legs which as we all know is not within the strict Halloween guidelines to which we must adhere. Standards need to be maintained & an urgent dual amputation is required.

Spider 4. Correctly Legged Spider.

As above, but constucted with the benefit of a calculator. Simple home made costume, with accurate mathematical application.

Spider 5. Adrianne the Pants Spider.

This is Adrianne. Her spider costume appears to consist of her, with a spider drawn in biro on her face, making some kind of attempt at Peter Crouch robotic dancing, in order to conceal the fact she has not bothered to add any legs… tres, tres,  poor.

Skeletons… Skeletons are another building block of Halloween Culture & must be respected. This not however, always the case…

Skeleton 1. Baseball Boot Skeleton.

Surely he could have made a coupla little black spat type thingys with bones on to cover his shoes? Marks for blank staring expression, but loss of marks for lack of dedication in the foot dept.

Skeleton 2. Fast Food Skeleton.

He’s looking a bit too happy & well fed to be dead & his suit is a little ill fitting & too big. What we are looking for is the effect of death & bones, not chips.

Skeleton 3. Worst of the bunch.

Growling will not save him as his look is weak, devoid of make up & made even weaker by his little hoodie his Mam made him wear, to keep out the cold.

Skeleton 4. Skelly.

He’s got a good mean look on here, kinda reminiscent of the Hulk. Coincidentally, he also has some little green bones in his hands there…

Skeleton 5. Glam Skeleton.

It’s a cool look positioned unashamedly on the glam side as opposed to the spooky. Doubt she can win any prizes for being scary, but she doesn’t look that bothered & that doesn’t really seem to be her vibe.

She seems a pleasant lady & as such, we reckon she’s probably more interested in steering clear of the young skeletons numbered 1,2 & 3 above.

Skeleton 6 & 7. Quality Facepaint Skeletons.

A great look on this couple. Not pissing about in daft bone suits, just crafting a proper Halloween make up groove. One of the best looks of the night & definitely a woman’s touch in there.

When you young skeletons numbered 1,2,& 3 above, eventually get girlfiends, you too can have your faces painted like this, get a proper Halloween groove on & possibly even have sex too, if you behave yourselves…

Skeleton 8. Disco Skeleton.

We like. She has taken the whole bone thing & shaped it in a new way. Great arm work on the pose & nice to see a little originality on a well worn genre. Obviously  a woman’s touch in here too & when you young skeletons numbered 1,2,& 3 above eventually get girlfiends, you too can have your faces painted like this, get a proper Halloween groove on & possibly…etc., etc.,  etc. ( loop to fade…)

Egyptians… This short category highlights clearly, the difference between making a concerted, original effort in the costume dept - or  just winging it…

Egyptian 1. Lame Egyptian.

A half arsed effort if ever there was one! For further context see next photo below…

Egyptian 2. Queen Tut.

Brilliant… Bit of imagination, a little effort at home & bingo -  She’s on it!!

Cruellas… Popular but not really truly spooky, unless you are a spotty dog.

Cruella 1. Cruella De Vodka.

A carefree Cruella with nice gloves. Lacking in evil perhaps, but she doesn’t seem to mind that, so we won’t either.

Cruella 2. Actually a Cruela?

We can’t be sure, but if she is then despite her spooky pose, her costume is lame. Think she may be some kinda spider woman? But then again if so, she’s well short on legs. Now voting has started, no doubt she’ll let us know who she is meant to be.

Cruella 3. Zombie Cruella.

Following the Halloween Handbook to the letter, here this young lady takes her chosen celeb & zombifies them. Nice bloodwork on both the chest & leg & surely must be strongest contender in her category. Great sneer too.

Red Ben.

This is Ben who works with us & shall be creating our next mural of Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul in the downstairs Club over the Xmas holidays.

Here he sports a ludicrous syrup & some kind of red blood colouration that is presenting similarly to really bad psoriasis.

Cave women… We only ever seem to see the two Flinstoneian choices, Betty & Willma. Can’t say we’ve ever seen a Raquel…

Cave woman 1. Betty. Despite the effort with the spooky pose this isn’t working at all in terms of spook factor. Nice bone in the hair but we’d be lying if we said we’ll see you at the finish line.

Cave Woman 2. Willma.

Far better use of the classic claw hand grip than Betty & with those natural posing skills, it’s such a shame you didn’t do Zombie Willma instead & get the tomato sauce out. Maybe next year.

Scooby Doo… An absolute spooky kid’s TV classic genre. Greatly undervalued, more please next year.

Scooby Doo 1. Daphne.

A quality rendition, if we had to nitpick perhaps slightly too curly on the hair? But that really is marking hard & we feel the birth of an exciting new category that can only grow & expand for next years competition. Well done!

Scooby Doo 2 & 3. Daphne & Shaggy.

Again any critisism can only be hair based, for Daphne slightly more wavey & for Shaggy some chin hair. Daphne is much more convincing than Shaggy is & he needs to address that, for the good of the whole team. He should pop down & have a little chat with Amy Winehouse 3, further below, to see what they can sort out…

Amy Winehousers…  No, you are mistaken - It’s not too soon.

Amy 1. Actual Amy.

This girl actually really looks a lot like Amy & has thus chosen her costume well. She has her tats right & the only quibble is that she is not zombified. The clash of the Marilyns earlier, taught us all a lesson in recognising the spook potential of dead celebs at Halloween.

Given her total nailing of the overall look, this was a criminally missed opportunity to zombie it up a little & actually have people in the Club wondering if she had risen from the grave.

Amy 2. Not Quite Amy.

Now she doesn’t look anything like her & is simply eating out on a nylon syrup. But, it’s Halloween & she has zombified her, so she gets points. Further illustrates the tragic waste of Zombie potential by Amy 1. above.

Amy 3. Kidding No One.

Ha! He’s well on it, but again, suprisingly no reference to death..? Is popping up & see Shaggy at Scooby Doo 3 above, to sort his chin out for him.

Alice in wonderland & chums…. Becoming more popular as a category each year, but beyond the LSD vibe of the original book we really can’t see why..? It’s important that we let voters know we don’t really dig the whole Alice thing & we don’t want our lack lusture commentary to stop you voting for costumes you like. So, we shall try to be enthusiastic, & impartial, even though we don’t really get it.

AIW 1. Alice & Rabbit.

Both accurate depictions but aside from Alice’s stare, a little light on abject terror.

AIW 2. Queen of Hearts.

Not the strongest Queen of hearts we have ever seen. Just basically a few cards, stuck on. But she seems very pleased with herself & looking forward to the party, so it’s all good.

AIW 3. Mad Hatter 1.

Looks a little depressed rather than mad, we do hope she cheered up! If we were her we’d play to our strengths & rock a Nancy Spungen groove next time.

AIW 4. Mad Hatter 2.

This seems to be a mix of Queen of hearts & Mad Hatter? Again we don’t really get it… We are old skool & like Zombies, Drac, Mummies & such like. You never know where you are with all this new fangled Alice in Wonderland palava.

 AIW 5 Mad Hatter 3.

Ok she has got the betting slip in her hat, we’ll give her that.

AIW 6. MadHatter 4.

The pose & general look make this a good take on the Johnny Depp incarnation.

AIW 7. Malice in Wonderland.

Cute costume name & at last some flippin’ blood!

AIW 8. The Whole Gang.

Slight air of spookiness here, but not all the gang seem to share the Hatter’s happy go lucky vibe, in fact the Queen of Hearts & the Rabbit look about ready to go at it!

Assorted Clowns… Delivered (in the main) with varing degrees of ineptitude…

Clown 1. Baggy Clown.

He has the basics, but a plastic flower lapel  badge would have been nice. Then again with him not having bothered with the obligatory big, long clown’s shoes, you can hardly expect subversive, clothing mounted water pistols. Bet his little car doesn’t even fall apart either…

Clown 2. The Spotty Clown.

Is she really meant to be a clown or has Buster mixed up the photos? She looks more like a Zombie baby in a romper suit to us. Anyway she is mean & genuinely looks as though given the chance, she would bite you, which is nice.

Clown 3. The Half Baked Clown.

Talk about half a job! his facial injuries are quite good, but his overall look & vibe are desperately shoddy. It’s a sad fact that face makeup alone, does not a clown make. 

Clown 4. Breast Clown.

He’s wearing a ’support breast cancer research’ t-shirt as part of his outfit. He’s also got a scary clown face & has his hands extended in a ‘can check you for lumps ladies..?’ kind of way. Add in his mad eyes in & you have to wonder if he is in fact an actual , real life, spelt correctly - Porvort…. & not just a dressie up one?

Clowns 5 & 6 The Clown Twins.

Best clowns of the night no question. A nice original take, proper face make up, matching suits, a bit of a gentle crimp & bob’s yer uncle. With the addition of bleeding eye sockets they have really hit the heights here. Top flavour!

Bat & Catwomen… a great genre for the less inhibited ladies who wish to balance their sauce with their inner spookiness.

Bat woman 1.

Great pose, saucy grin. She’s keeping it simple, but she’s owning it none the less.

Catwoman 1.

It’s that grey area between Gimp & Super Hero & she blurs it well. A PVC suit & a whip will aways have mass appeal & the gritted teeth show both dedication & enthusiasm, setting the look right off.

Batwoman 2.

Here, she’s added a little spookiness to the concept with her spiderwebbery & ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ stance. Nice touches.

Batwoman 3.

Brings it all back home with a nice spooky pose. The dress is really on too.

Edward Scissorhands… one of the smaller categories as it requires a fair bit of dedication to pull it off properly for the whole night.

Edward 1.

A great showing in the syrup dept, somewhat let down by one of the curses of the competition this year - incomplete neck make up. Otherwise, a tight look.

Edward 2.

By opting for the polo neck Eddie 2 has neatly swerved the curse & the expression here we think, coupled with the more home made feel of the getup,  just wings it over Eddie 1. What do you reckon..?

Marie Antoinettes…

Marie 1.

Fabulous dress! but neck in tact..? Are we at the same party…?

Marie 2.

Zombified & with the most divinely chopped throat. More like it !

The Ninja Turtles… not very spooky, but we do love them.

1. Ninja Gang.

Ninja turtles are always best delivered in gang. That’s just how they roll. This gang were tight & had 2/3’s of their masks exactly right. Pretty good show.

2. Solo Ninja Raphael.

Very home made, almost too home made & lacking in overall quality. Usually we alway prefer DIY costumes, but they must contain proper effort. It’s also not just what you wear, but how you carry it that counts.

Word reached us that your boy Raphael was being a little bit of a dick in the Club, once the booze took hold later in the night. Upsetting the ladies is something a real Ninja Turtle would never do, so he loses points for lack of authenticity. At this level or competitive endevour every little element counts.

It’s a shame ‘cos his pie case shell was a dope feature & he let himself down.

The Mummies…

Mummy 1. Fake Tan Mummy.

Good scowl & we appreciate it’s hot in the desert, but she’s a little light on the bandages we reckon. Great look & all that, but not the classic Mummy Halloween at this level of prize money demands.

Mummy 2. Bit Better.

But with the dual schoolboy errors of undergarment (no mummy wears underclothing) & blood coming from eye socket, he fails. Blood on chin & chest we can forgive as it may be someone elses if he has attacked someone.

Blood on eye socket however, whilst normally desirable at Halloween, is in this case impossible. Mummys don’t have blood that flows daftie, they have been dead to long.

 Mummy 3. Bloody Mummy.

Jesus! Claret all over this contender & only you, the voters can decide if it stems from an attack on another living being, or is a critical Halloween error (see above). Can’t say the handbag helps her case, but the hair is on & she is sporting some of the best bandaging in the whole category. It’s a really tough call & we think it’s probably best left to deadlock & the public vote.

 Mummy 4. Sneering Mummy.

His look is good & it’s also a good, if slightly unconventional mummy pose. The blood here could easily have come from another living being so we’ll let that go, but again the undergarments we simply cannot forgive.

 Mummy 5.  Classic Pose Mummy.

Timeless posing, quality sunken eyes & with any undergarments trussed up to look like bandages, she has this right on many levels. No blood at all, which is more points & if she must lose a point for the shoes, she claws it back with the spooky shadows she casts with her arm pose. A very strong contender in the classic Mummy tradition - top marks.

Mummy 6. Pants Mummy.

It’s not that he is pants, it’s just that he’s got them on..! His top half  & his rendition of the classic Mummy arm pose, is a masterclass in Mummydom & he throws it all away with his chino kecks. Why oh why..? Had he only gone a little further with it & sorted out his downstairs, he’d have been so up there.

Mummy 7. Mummy of Darkness.

Every now & then we get a weird snap & this is one of those snaps.. A totally classic Mummy, right down to the feet. The pose is a non Mummy one & is a bit more Greek thinker, but the spookiness of Halloween has entered the camera & messed up the light to create this amazing Mummy shot.  It’s a really great outfit & a nice spooky shot, but who is this..?

The Voting…

Phew! That’s it folks, the 2011 line up is complete. We do hope you have enjoyed the costumes, we are sure you’ll agree that 2011 is an exceptional vintage!

Fairsquared are a group of people we met recently…

We were so impressed with what they are all about & we have decided to link up with them, to help raise awareness of all the important, worthwhile & far out stuff they are doing to make the World a better & fairer place.

This page has all the info about what they get up to & you can click through directly to their website too.

www.fairsquared.co.uk

Here is what they have to say about themselves…

Based in the stunning city of Newcastle we are an Ethical enterprise that belief passionately in people and our planet.

Free from the corporate world the stifles creativity and focuses on profit, we decided to do something different.

Fair squared are campaigning to raise awareness in all aspects of fighting poverty at home and abroad, in the process ensuring that our environment is not exploited for personal gain or greed. 

Our focus is fighting poverty at home and abroad and making people aware of some of the abysmal practices that take place to make money out of cheap products.

The Wall of Fame and Wall of Shame is being developed to raise awareness of these practices with naming and shaming some of the corporates – are you aware that Proctor and Gamble still test on animals. 

Most of the large corporates will tell you that they have CSR(Corporate Social Responsibility) policies in place and they have signed up to this initiative or that one , they even have set up their own award, Business in the Community .The 2010 winner was Unilever – check out our wall of fame to see why this is a laughing stock, by the way those of you that have enjoyed swimming in the Gulf of Mexico recently will be delighted to know that BP were highly commended in the 2010 awards for their continued contribution to sustainability – they were runners up in 2009.

We have set up the website to try and encourage you to get writing about the issues of the day and encourage some campaigning, lobbying and all round ranting. If you have something to say either via a blog or a forum post and would like to contribute stories or photographs-feel free.

www.fairsquared.co.uk

Our products are all carefully sourced, ensuring that the maximum benefit goes back to the producers and that all of our products are natural, organic and fairly traded.

If you want a fiery curry from a women’s workers co-operative in Swaziland to the most ethical condoms in the UK we have them for you, and we have aimed at pricing products below or equivalent to equivalent brands unlike the supermarkets who seem to whack a huge premium on anything ethical - we believe ethical shopping should be in everyone’s reach not a luxury.

We only trade in the poorest regions of the world, where the smallest effort makes a huge impact. 

 We will be handing out samples over the next few weeks at World Headquarters and your feedback on the site, products, ethos or anything else will be warmly received.

Finally a thank you to World Headquarters for selecting Action Aid as our campaign product fundraising partner – we are donating all the margin from sales of our Olive High top Ethletic Trainers not the token 5p a pack you will normally find.

Here at WHQ we really like these guys & we are very pleased to be able to get involved with them. So should you, so check out their website today…

www.fairsquared.co.uk

Halloween, Valentines Day & New Years Eve are the most amazing nights of the year here at WHQ. So, every year we throw the best & spookiest Halloween party in the city, by miles & this is the story of the sweet people who came in 2010…

It was a really fab night & a proper celebration of true spookiness. Massive thanks to all who came & made such an outstanding effort making costumes & dressing up.

This was our biggest ever Costume Competition so we hope you enjoy it. It’s all just a bit of a laugh & any scathing comments we made on your carefully constructed looks were purely in jest… Ha!

This year we decided to photo everyone as they arrived in the queue, so that no one missed their chance to enter & all the costumes were in tip-top condition at the start of the night. There are loads of photos below & if you were there & got your costume snapped, you are in with a chance of winning if you can rustle all your chums to vote.

It was a really been a bumper year & many of the costumes (as you will see…) were absolutely inspired & we heap heartie praise on them below…

Some others however, were just a bit gash really & thus, we shall had a few lagers while we wrote this & added critical comments & mildly humourous jibes by their photos, ridiculing their unfortunate misguided attempts, all round slackness & lack of effort.

Obviously comments are now closed & the rest of the page is exactly as it appeared at the time…

The Rules…

If you scroll down to the bottom of the page you can submit votes for your favourites.

Anyone can vote, for as many costumes as they like, but please only vote for each costume once or your votes won’t count.

Votes must be out of ten & please include a comment.

Feel free to comment on ones that you think are rubbish too if you like & take the micky out of your pals etc. When voting please use the name that we have given the costume so we can be sure who you mean.

When you vote it comes to the WHQ office & we then have to approve it to avoid getting loads of spam, so don’t worry if you don’t see your vote up straight away, we will update the voting daily.

You are free to use any hustle you like to get more votes & it’s ok to put links from this page to facebook etc if you wanna run a full on campaign for yourself.

In the past people, including us, have grumbled on when none spooky costumes have won, so this year we will be giving prizes in 4 categories & also to the ten runners up.

The categories are, Best Witch (as there’s a load of them this year), also secondly…

Best None Spooky Costume & thirdly, the Most Innovative New Costume Idea. Each category winner will get a WHQ Hoodie & 2 tickets to New years Eve. Lastly…

There is the ultimate accolade… The Spookiest Costume Of All..!

The winner of this will get  £100.00 cash, 2 WHQ Hoodies, 2 WHQ baseball shirts, 4 tickets for New Years Eve & free admission to the Club, for them & a friend, on every Friday & Saturday for the next year.

The top ten runners up will all get a WHQ hoodie too, so there is plenty to play for, everyone’s a winner, Bob’s your uncle, scream if you wanna go faster etc., etc…

Ronnie the WHQ dog is the adjudicator this year & her decision in all matters is final. Anyone she takes a dislike to during the voting process, will be disqualified & then eaten. Here she is pictured overseeing the Halloween decoration of the Club, by running around in the leaves on the dancefloor like a little demonic loon (top right).

Please bear in mind that this is still a work in progress. We may do voting in two stages as there are so many entrants & what we might do is work towards a final 50 to narrow it down a bit for the final vote. Some of the costume names we have had to make up, so feel free to drop us a line to give us your correct name, if we didn’t know who you were meant to be.

We have finished the intial critique, but will add more text daily as funny stuff crops up via the comments voters leave. Our next big job is to crop the photos a little, to remove any unwanted background, so the page scrolls faster for ya.

Ok then, here are this years entries, feel free to vote at the bottom of the page.

Once upon a time there were a load of Dead Spooks…

Skeleton Back Comb. It’s a quality pose, well executed, with a revolutionary & tres original bit of tonsil input. At this premier level of competition, every little helps & tonsils mean votes.

Purple Fang. We’re not really feeling the fear Sweetie, but it has to be said that purple is a grade ‘A’ spooky colour.

Zombie Peter Pan Dude. Your pants have let you down pal. It is however, good to see that bleeding eye sockets have now become accepted crack, after last years ‘Ultra High Quality Zombie Maiden’ introduced them to the party scene.

Wolf Trio. We like you, but you are bound to lose some popularity with the voters for the Bon Jovi rock hand gesture of the Wolf on the right. Now, had you been Soul Wolves…

Blonde Devil. Seems to be a little worried she may have a little bit of poopoo on her fingers..? Best check.

Pvc Devil. A cool look but she lets herself down with a modelesque pose. Where are the spooky claw hands & the Devilish sneer? Not evil enough I’m afraid.

Minimum Effort Devil. Again friendly smiles are not what we want from our Devils. Her two items of actual costume (horns & trident), look like they fell out of a Xmas Cracker. Minimum effort? At this level of international competition, that is unacceptable.

Lucifers Mask. It’s a mask alright, but does it equate to your absolute best effort? We think not & remember, it’s very often home made that makes the grade, in this game…

Zombie Nurse. This is more like it. A magnificent effort on all levels. An enthusiastic pose, blood coming from eye sockets & to top it all off, she is gnoshing on a human heart!  The mark of true zombie quality. Surely top ten on our card.

Cruella 1. Now Cruella, given that you have stiff competition in the outfit department (see next few below), could you possibly look at tad more into it..? The addition of what appears to be Elvis’ lip has had a negative input to your prize fund ambitions.

Cruella 2. It appears the Cruellas are getting happier…

Cruella 3. And happier, as their hair improves…

Cruella 4. Oh no.. too happy & her hair is f**ked up! My dog would not be scared. Lacking in spots too. It’s all gone to pot.

Cruella 5. We think..? Or is she that Snow White evil witchy one..?

Topless Slasher. Nice hat but quite basic at the end of the day.

Dalmatian Heed. Is hiding from the army of Cruellas above.

Spiderweb Kitten. Cute, but again we are not quite afraid enough. However, had she appeared as spooky as she does racy, the competition could have been over…

Lacerated Cheerleaders 1 & 2. Cheerleader carve ups are a horror genre staple. Excellent work.

Golden Girl. What is there to be scared about? It’s a Halloween queue at WHQ, not the red carpet at the Golden globes. Right place, but sorry, wrong look.

Beaming Evil Fairy. Is that another friendly smile..? We’re going to give her the benefit of the doubt & assume she intends to bite our loin with those gnashers.

Mothwoman. Spooky & original. So on point that Golden Girl has taken her critisism to heart & run to hide behind her, in the hope that some spookiness will wear off on her.

Tiny Horned Devil. By our scoring she’s just nudging it over ‘Minimum Effort Devil’ earlier up the page. By the look of things she’s just a pair of tights ahead though.

Trauma Bride. Flavour. Not just a costume, a complete look. The pained facial expression is a Halloween winner. She exudes fear & discomfort, with slight overtones of zombification & pulls it all together with a really nice sinister edge.

Cheerful Pumpkin Shirt. Not that spooky, but pumpkin costumes are thin are the ground this year, due to a glut of Cruellas, Devils & Witches, so she scores points. Could have practiced mimicking the mouth on her t shirt in front of the mirror, before she came out though. Hasn’t quite got the spook factor, but seems happy & we do like her look.

Totally Unspooky Spottycoat. Exceptionally poor. Go to the straight bottom of the class… In fact we are going to keep you back a year, where you will sit remedial spook classes (for beginners). Here we expect you to work on spooking yourself up, before you set foot on our hallowed threshold again.

Ultra Low Budget Hot Dog. Criminal… Off the shelf twaddle. The shame of your peers is upon you.

Teen Adolf. What can we say…?! A Masterpiece. In one look he encompasses & projects a 100% sinister vibe.  Perhaps he’s planning to suck the Vimto from his neighbours armpit..? It’s a bitter irony that he  claims to like juice, yet he drinks canned woodpecker from the offy, that’s how f**ked up he is. This has got to be there in the final running.

Zombie at C&A. Here’s his pal. Looks like he might be needing that Ribena transplant after all…

..

Kids Party, Face Paint Bob. We’re gonna take a few days to digest this one & then comment. Not really sure what we reckon yet…

Blinking Robin. Don’t look! Or you might see just how rubbish your costume is compared to everyone elses. Yet more off the shelf twaddle. See you in detention.

Slip-on Mario. You just gotta love him in those shoes… Bless!

Zombie Kate Bush. Loses points for incorrect, non spooky pose. Coulda done a lot better. Take 300 lines… ‘I must always remember to add lager & get my photo taken later…’

Zombie Sonia. 80’s Liverpool songstress in zombie head shocker..

Forest Copperhead. She’s a Poison Ivy really but we have a few this year. In terms of costume it’s well within the realms of acceptability, but in terms of spooky pose… A missed opportunity for sure. Lesson one, open eyes. Lesson two, make a spooky face. Lesson 3, incroprate over blown threatening hand gestures. Simple really…

Batman & Poison Ivy. Batman is, well…Batman. Another off the shelfer, only saved by the hands down quality of Ivy’s look. Which is nice & tight.

Poison Ivy Tilsley. This ivy thing is catching on this year. We know her & can vouch that she is genuinely spooky when she is in the drink (as we say in Westerhope).

Transformerman. He’s well into it, but his threads looks like they came from a bargain bucket for kids, positioned by the tills, in B&Q.

Lairy Joker. He has made a real effort with his hair & he does look unsettling in a,  ’You wouldn’t want me around your kids’ kinda way.

Smudgeheed. Don’t look so smug matie, you’ll never win with that get up.

5* Transformer. This is exceptional work! She embodies the spirit of everything we wanna see (bar spookiness). She is so accomplished in both the originality of her idea & her razor sharp execution of it, that we are simply speechless! Just think of how much work she must have put into plotting, then actually realising this concept!

Watch her go..! She’s more than just a bit good…

She’s absolutely, flippin’… Fantastic! Go to the top of the class. Original, innovative, effective & home made. An early favourite if ever we saw one!

As a true Club, we reach to the heavens & give thanks to the Universe, for up for it, inovative souls like yours. Absolutely outstanding & we all love & are honestly in awe of your contribution xx!!!

Zombie Ghostbusters 1 & 2. Great dancing, you can almost hear the theme tune…

Webbed Electric Lamp. Outstanding! Looked really amazing in the dark Club, with it all lit up by her own power supply. She also had a little rat sewn onto her leg. Now that is what we call Halloween dedication of the first degree! Hot on the heels of ‘5* Transfomer’ on our scorecard…

The Crow. Aka Gene Simmons Hitman. Must have been well hot in the Club.

Multiple Stabwound Cheer. Taking an obvious pleasure from an assortment of puncture wounds, is in the true spirit of Halloween.

Zombie Pagent Queen. This is quality. Top notch bloodwork plus a daft wig! Scores highly with us & there can be no denying, she rocks a quality bleed.

Carnage from Spiderman. Aka Axe Claw Bodystocking. Apparently spent all night in the toilet trying to get his peepee out.

The Black Cat. Aka Platinium Weirdo. It’s a look that’s on, but surely accessorising beyond a whip was an option? You know, meat cleaver? Ice pick?  Whips are so Belgian dungeon these days & the prizes are all there to be won, but you have to really want it.

Scorpion from Mortal Combat. Aka Old Skool Raver. A quality stance.

Skeletor. Hmmm.. Two elements of  costume, both off the shelf, isn’t gonna do it for you tonight brother. Need to up the fear factor on the calves & feet too pal, as you seem to be wearing insurance man’s shoes…

Proper Hire Shop Disaster. Look at him. Bloody tragic. What on earth is he on? Is he some kind of dragon? Whatever he is, the staff in the hire shop saw him coming alright…

Demure Black Cat. Sweet, but not exactly striking terror into our hearts…

Uncle Darth. Is too mainstream to win this. The fantasies of Sci fi should never be confused with the spooky true reality that is Halloween. What’s right is right.

Batman 2. Ditto.

George Romero would be proud. There you have it, it’s all there… Proper zombie gold! That pallor is straight off the set of the original ‘Dawn of the Dead’. She is the one zombie in this competition who could walk on set in a proper zombie movie & carry it off. Absolute top marks! Inspirational work on the shirt too. We salute you!

Icing Sugar Overload. The polar opposite of the aformentioned masterwork above.

Sarah Palin. Gotta be one of the best non spookys this year. Smack on the money.

Cheerleader Suicide. Those are really well slashed wrists. We like.

The Mexican Spirits. Subtle & really nice. Classy too, bit of a slow burner but top marks for originality. Getting mentioned down in the comments section, for their outstanding spooky dancing in the Club later too.

Queen Crimpy. I think we have caught her either mid eye opening, or a wee bit the worse for the sauce… Either way we can’t quite work out her costume ?

Rocky Horror 1. You can’t legally have a Halloween bash without some Rocky horror folk…

Rocky Horror 2. The two go hand in hand.

Rocky Horror 3. Like the true Halloween spirit, it’s a movie that carrys that ‘Live Life’ vibe.

Skinny Alex Reid. I think he’s meant to be a wolf, but where’s all the hair? You can’t score a wolf type fellow on fake tan & hands gestures alone. If you could, he would score hightly as that is without doubt a top notch pose he has right there. But without more hair he goes against all the rules of common, Lycanthropic sense.

Curly Cat. Not that spooky, but a tight look all the same, with top class make up meets hairline invisibility.

Low Budget Chancer. Will one of you please take a bloody whip to this lame, lame, young fellow. Stripe the bitch… Utter codswallop & an insult to our Halloween culture. Let’s all form a big gang with pitchforks & burning torches… Then we can go & round him up & drive him (& all his kinfolk), out of our lives for good.

Zombie Steve Irwin. This is why we run this thing! To see inspired individuals rock a killer look. Points are raining down for her. It’s all in the detail… Aussie hat, swimsuit & to top it all off a bloodied stingray! That last bloke should take a good hard look at this outfit & learn. Life is what you make it, so try to have ideas & make them good. She is top ten from where we are sitting.

Black Rose. Yeah alright, but we need some blood Petal… It’s Halloween.

Killer Maid. Get the feeling she’s maybe rocking a famous look we don’t know?

Frankenstein. A design classic that on second glance is missing his neck bolts! That is a crime against Halloween. He now deserves the same fate as the ‘Low Budget Chancer’ back up the page a little, but I suppose he’s used to all that…

Inflatable Frankenstein. That’s the boy! A classic, bolts & all. Done on the correct scale too, with a nice big head.

Bit of  a Tomato Sauce Episode. We told you not to rush your burger, but you just didn’t listen.

Spider 1. The spider arms thing is fast establishing itself as a staple of the Halloween costume tradition. She seems happy with it & has added some fangs & also an oh so cute little ‘I’ll cut your f**cking nuts off..!’ gesture with her hand. A really, unsolicited yet quality touch, that raises her score for sure.

Leafy Lady. It’s another Poison Ivy. A good look, undermined ever so slightly by the handbag & lack of pose.

Dynasty Extra. Anaconda patterned jumpsuit, fake gold clasp. Non spooky she may be, but she has the 80’s groove thing right in the bag.

Zombie Kangaroo. A pose master! Liking his thing but with these type of high octane posing skills, we all wanna see the lad in a home made self creation next year. Brimming with potential…

Public Schoolboy. Such a zero effort, lame duck disaster he’s even giving himself the thumbs down…

Zombie Beauty Queen. Yup, we are back on track here for sure! She’s looking good & the pageant queen thing has def grown this year. May even justify it’s own category for next years bash. What do you think? She’s got a top look but we can’t be alone, in feeling a little more blood dripping down her cleave from her slashed throat, could have tastefully enhanced her overall score…

Attitude Vampire. This is more flippin like it. Spooky claw gesture & everything. She has taken her chosen role & is having real fun with it. She has also taken the time needed to pay proper attention to detail, in both her haemoglobic chest spatter & Vampire tooth selection. This young lady, is in the prize  reckoning for sure.

Six Blood Spots. On your face, does not a costume make…

Spook Bypass. We are going to show mercy & refrain from deriding you publicly. But deep inside, with your lack of costume, relaxed pose & missing outfit, you know you did a very bad thing…

Mardis Gras Mask. Coulda gone a little further with the whole MG thing. The mask is a good start though.

Zombie Couple. They are really good, but they have made a major error here, which could cost them dearly when the votes are tallied…

He has the right idea leering at the camera, but she is just standing too close to him. We fully appreciate that she is clawing his chest a little, but due to the closeness of their proximity to one another & their stance, they come across as a couple & we all know there are no Zombie couples, as they can’t feel love… Had she turned & snarled at the camera too, with both hands out in a mummy type pose, we would be in business.

We know it’s harsh, but this is a world class competiton & standards must not be allowed to slip…

The Riddler. Extra marks for matching shoes & if I’m not mistaken… I think we can see your peepee?

Marge Simpson Fairy Cheroot. What a combination! Great showing.

Barbies Pal. We have no idea what is going on here, but we can confirm it is spooky. We were thinking this may be some kind of homage to 70’s German contact magazines, where people block out their eyes with a little strip of black?  If so, then the addition of the studded collar & the kinky little Barbie, are both quality touches.

Pants Robot. Costume wise, it’s just a little too small.. Not wanting to go all ‘Masterchef, the Professionals’ about it, but he’s used slightly too much tin foil & thus has caused it to look a little scrunched up in the area around the frame of his face. Metal doesn’t crinkle, so he loses points… Needs to work on his lightness of touch, for a little more delicacy with the finish he serves up next time please.

Tealatron 3000. Aha! You see what we mean..? This is a vast improvement on the one above, for all the reasons we have already posited. Still though, here we could see a higher score had attention been paid to his legs. Both contenders would do well to study ’5* Transformer’ elsewhere in the competition to see what levels of  Halloween dedication & detail are required to score really big in this most competitive of events.

Fell asleep drunk & my mates all penned on my face… Basically.

Silver Medusa. In the words of the Beastie Boys… She’s on it!  A fab look all round. Sublime use of facial expression & teeth, added to the fact her pointing skills are deadly accurate, makes this a premier contender. In an ideal world we’d have liked to see her lose the handbag & add some Ugly Betty style chunky metal braces to totally max it out, but very strong nontheless.

Sasha Baron Cohen. We thought… But we have the full story on him now. He apparently claims to have come as a Crow, but he reckons he just forgot to have his Crow beak & crow feet ready, for when he stepped up to immortalise his costume on film… Totally unacceptable behaviour!  Who in the world told this fool that going all ‘Westside’ could ever be a suitable substitute for pre organised spookiness..?

Westside..? ‘ West bliddy Life’ more like! You silly boy, you need to totally regroup your shit & consider how you will organise, prioritise & prosecute your wretched life from this day forth…. Let this lasting moment here, captured on film for immortallity, be the lowest you ever stoop in terms of lack of preparation & organisation. Now be off with you..!

John McCrirrick. Apparently meant to be John Candy the actor, but when you mix up your looks in this game it can prove your undoing. The Golden rule..?  Nail your look.

Clockwork Orange 1. Uninspiring. If you are going to do the whole CO thing you need to look hard… It is a prerequisit to attaining that look. Our top tip for him, is to cross dress next year.

Little Red Face Chewed Off. It’s a neat presentation & we know it’s nitpicking but, the wound is raised a little too much. We fully appreciate that it’s not CGI, but it’s a little too 70’s joke shop rubber wound, glued onto face, to hit the absolute heights of scoring in this, the more modern arena of spooky combat.

Basic Contact lens Hustler. That’s all it is, a basic contact lens hustle, so we all know it’s not enough to win this. Still, she played the game & can learn from this & compete at a higher level next time.

Corpse Bride. Very nearly there, but much too healthy facewise… Needs to eat a load of lard the week before the next competition to f**ck her complexion up a little. Elsewhere, her excellent cheekbone accentuation work is slightly compromised by her rubbish marker pen scars. Red blood, black scars..? She hasn’t thought this through properly…  Preparation is nine tenths of the job Pet… If you remember that, next year you have the potential to do great things.

I need a poo. Or am I distressed because a bat just landed on my head..? Here her fabulous ‘Please stop Uncle Ginger! You’re hurting me’ wince… Is her spook apex.

Zombie Medical Elton John? It’s a bit of a funny one as it isn’t really anything… When working with limited material it is essential to strike a spooky pose. It’s his only chance. He’s missed a trick here by being too jolly.

Snaketastic. We’re getting overtones of Cleopatra coming through here. Nice snakework but if it is Cleo, a couple of little vampire like, red puncture snakebite wounds, just next to her little mole that she has going on there, woulda properly topped it right off.

Pitiful 80’s Frog. Kung Fu won’t save you pal. Especially if your low budget feet are tied on with straw.

Third of a Mummy Costume. Ok, we get it that she’s supposed to be someone who has slit their wrists, but where is the blood? Without it she becomes a third of a mummy costume, as bandages without blood = the mummy. It’s industry standard.

Dr Death. Hardly! Did you run out of ketchup or something..? Weak effort.

Skeletor 2. Eye contact is a basic human need. We can’t feel him so he’s out.

Sunken Eye Ghoul. Nice work, especially the sunken eyes. There are a few people trying the sunken eye gig this year, but she is up there with the best of them… So underrated, the whole sunken eye thing & she has done well here, resurrecting a Halloween classic look into the proceedings.

Skeleton Puppet Mistress. This is a class act. Looked great on the night as well. The incorporation of a functional external appendage into your look, is always gonna draw the connoisseur vote. To cover that issue & then also add in the element of demonstratable puppetry control, is a double achievement. Well done!

Zombie Pirate. He ’s looking mean, which is a start, but he has broken a golden rule… Pirates existed before watches, so how would a Zombie Pirate have a watch? Schoolboy error in the continuity dept… Flog him.

Happy Victim. Promises so much in terms of the shirt… That three fingers of blood dragged down his chest is his best feature. Other than that, too happy to be taken as a serious competitor in this arena of contest.

Your Gran. This is a grower… Great work with the tights, slippers & the specs. Should be told off for lack of eye contact really, but we think she is one of those little stoopy Grannies you see now & again..? You know, the ones who just walk around all the time, whilst looking down  at the floor… They stand like that, because their upper spine has somewhat crumbled, through old age. If so, very good effort.

The Twins from the Shining. Smack on the nail! A fantastic look & getting it’s fair share of early admirers, in the voting at the bottom of the page.

The Cross dressing Twins from the Shining. Another fine effort, giving us a kinda before & after effect, when viewed with the one above. In an added bonus, the gogglie stare on the left, could just be the strongest stare in this entire competitive arena!

Spiderwoman 2. Good arms but no facial make up. A slight disappointment when you consider that ‘Spiderwoman 1′ further up the page, had some little fangs drawn in.

The Ring. A touch of class! This clearly shows you how important the subject matter of your costume can be, in defining it’s ultimate overall spookiness potential. The girl from The Ring is up there with the spookiest ghouls to ever walk the planet & by choosing to base her costume on her, this lady has chosen well. Love the way she is coming out of the TV, that’s real imagination right here kids! A really top swerve that could only have been bettered by wet hair & a little touch of pond weed.

Eyes shut Zombie. Breaks Zombie Handbook  Rule 5 -  ’Real Zombies must have at least one eye open at all times’. How are we supposed to know you are the undead if you don’t have your flippin eyes open..? Her chum trying to f**ck her up with the old donkey ear thing is just outta shot, so it’s a disapointing comedic episode, on more than one level.

Stitchup. How many times must we remind you about attention to detail..?!! A fab try, undermined totally by a lack of earlobe attention in the make up dept. So nearly there…

Chilean Mineress. Topical, but not spooky as they all lived. Had one of them had his throat, cut she would have been more on point. Great to see them included this year though, as it was such a big story & elsewhere in the contest other Chilean miners pop up too.

Drako Malfoy. We are reliably informed is a Harry Potter dude. She seems enthusistic & has a definite Halloween swagger in her pose.

Amy Winehouse. A non spooky & a little two years ago to be honest… Great tattoo work however & as a look in itself, it is virtually flawless. More fancy dress than Halloween.

The Phantom of the Opera. He’s trying bless him, but this is not we feel his strongest potential look. We advise he has a rethink next time & makes the most of his natural assets. Look closely at his wrist… Are you thinking what we are thinking…? He’s a genetic Wolfman!

If only he had embraced his inner chimp, he could have gone au natural & won this thing hands down. Imagine him, all hairy like a little monkey man, running around on all fours baying like a rabid wolf in the queue… Wouldn’t have cost him a penny either. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, my hirsute little friend…

I am a Mime. Too kids TV for this game matie… Pure softarse.

Leatherface. A classic benefiting from the fact he is also the correct build for the role.

Ragdoll. Great outfit for a kids party & a fine look, but zero terror involved I’m afraid.

Marylin. She is dead I suppose, but some gore wouldn’t have gone amiss. Top tip, the filmstar to do, is that one who died in her apartment & when they found her weeks later, her dog had eaten some of her face. Now that woulda been a bit more like the kind of Halloween outfit the assembled voters are looking for…

Dead Schoolgirl 1. Arrgh! it’s so infuriating to see someone fall at the last hurdle… The saucy look , the excellent head bruise colouration above the eyebrow, are simply faultless. Then she goes & lets herself down by using the same purple stuff to do her bloodstains. Ketchup Sweetie, strawberry jam even… You so nearly had it locked.

Dead Schoolgirl 2. Oh dear same error. They must be pals.

Dead Schoolgirl 3. Not enough Beero & not enough blood.

Beakmask. Simple, but he could have tried a little harder don’t you think?

Wiggy Joker. A class take on a frankly, over-worked theme. The wig though, does set him apart for the other Joker outfits. Forward thinking always pays.

Deadmou5 Aka Unknown. Nice touch, but not a classic. Took a while to work out too.

Vampire Couple. Great costume from Drac, Mrs Drac could have bloodied up a touch though…

Glow heart Skeleton. Great shirt, but tragic make up. Requires a girlfriend immediately…

Vampire Tiger. Good teeth, but mate, why hire a costume when you can make one..? Only through true Halloween endeavour can this most glittering prize be attained…

Zombie Schoolgirl & the One in the Mad Purple Hat. Both tres spooky & a good general stab at things, but the assembled competition may prove too fierce…

Spiderwoman 3. It’s on, but as Spiderwoman 2 also found, she lacks fangs…

Clockwork Orange 2. Probably the hardest CO look we have on display tonight, embodying some good cod piece work.

Semi Plucked Albino Chimpanzee. That isn’t a costume mate.. That’s just you, drunk & you look so pleased with yourself! Your ensemble represents you as little more than a plucked ape. A tragic effort…

Unless of course you are a mid change Lycanthrope, in which case… Genius!

Wendy Pan. We think he’s a man…

Ghost Rabbits Child. As in Destinys, but with ghosts & a rabbit.

Rambo. Watch out girls, looks like his peepee has been bleeding…

The Reaper 1 . He does well, then blows it all with an evidently tu’penny placca scythe. There is no excuse & once again, a quick wrist check reveals that he is yet aother natural born Lycanthrope, who has simply plucked his hands & face to pass himself off as the Reaper! What is it with all these genetic Wolfmen..? What are they all are so ashamed about…?

The Reaper 2. Nice touch with the bone gloves this time round, but even this guy is still a little placca on the scythe front.

The Reaper 3. Our favourite Reaper, due to the class sunken eye & the vibrant use of purple. Finally someone gets the scythe right & it’s a female. Never send a man to do a girls job…

Chilean Miner 1. These guys were stars in the Club on the night. Walking around with the torches on their helmets lighting the Chilean flag that bore all the miners names. Not spooky, but a lesson in attention to detail & topicality.

Chilean Miners 1, 2 & 3. Quality players…

Dragon girl. Yet another cracking participant. Majorly good on the wings…

Dragon girl spooky close up. Excellence in the eyes too, but there’s a point lost for the gap in green paint on her hairline…

80’s Zombie Mayoress. Nice 80’s shoulderpad work here, but we’d expect clothing to be a tad more dishevelled from a zombie. We cannot (& must not) tolerate inaccurate protrayals of serious potential future inhabitants of this planet. Redeemed somewhat by her wrist wound, which has a finely supporating, ulcerated quality…

Upper Class Zombie. They must be chums & got ready together cos it’s the same caper going on with this lady here. Note to self - Zombies dress in bloodied rags…

Prom Couple. We reckon she is rocking Bride of Dracula… Whilst he appears genuinely relaxed in his ladies evening wear & warming up, ready for the snip…

French Farmer. It’s a bit of a curve ball, a cool concept & one that no one else is trying, it so full marks for originality & execution.

Glitter Eye & Bloodmouth. Just come to enjoy the party & not bothered about winning, but still willing to participate in good cheer…

Homepride Overload. He’s getting there… Cool hand slashes & is that a lobotomy scar we see there..? Really old skool, as these days they go in up your nose…

Mrs Sweeney Todd. All brought together with a simple & magnificent touch, with a little tray of actual sausages! True dedication to her chosen roll indeed!

The Mummy. A classic & always a pleasure to see. He’s going well here, but he’s slipped up with the lowered arms… We shall check all the other Mummies on show, to see if we can’t persuade one of them who has his stance correct, to run an open day for the others to attend for tips.

Zero Effort. This man is a drunken bum… He claims in the comments section below to be Derek Bird, the Cumbrian massacre taxi dude & reckons we all just don’t recognise him… He also reckons he shoulda come as Raoul Moat & so do we. You have to hand it to him for a couple of top class lies, to cover up his endearing love of the ale.

Freddy Kruger. It’s a weak, ill-fitting rubber mask… Nil pwah.

Queen of Hearts 1. The Alice in Wonderland connection does have a spooky element to it, with the shrinking & all that, so the Queen is in the zone. Lovely flamingo croquet stroke too, but in retrospect, the ‘Olive’ from ‘On The Buses’ glasses, serve to slightly detract from the overall effect.

Queen of Hearts 2. Nowhere near as effectively accessorised, but the heart shaped lips just swing it for us.

Slinky Dog from Toy Story. Top drawer! It’s a mess, granted. But the idea is so strong! It’s also a challenging costume, so well done those boys. Your peers are all feeling a warm respect for your endeavours.

Smurf without a hat. And he’s missed inside his ear. On a ‘One for the Ladies’ tip though, he just about scores.

Zombie Toon Cheerleader. Nice try at the darkened eyes, but a stage further into the proper connoisseur sunken zone, added to the regional factor, would have raised the bar for her a notch.

The Sultry Butcher. A really cold Halloween stare, top marks. The hands doing the two finger squeeze thing has metaphoric, sphinctal, Belgian dungeon overtones, which whilst a little last year, seem to add smewhat, enhancing the overall delivery. Nice to see an  old skool, beaten to death, black eye back in the game too.

Dunno.. Andy Warhol? What a fab look! But who is he..? If you know him, get to him let us know, as he has made such an effort with his spookiness, he deserves the correct costume name. Really quality overmake up & the finger is tight. The little wrist glow is also bonafide spooky. Really strong presentation, we can all learn from this.

Ursulla from Little Mermaid. A really classic syrup, but an armpit opportuntiy missed methinks..?  Needs make up lessons from Witches 11 & 18 further down the page.

Sexy Cross Dresser & Ursulla. Ha! He’s really got this looking like a real girl thing locked!  All you young ladies out there, would do well to take a leaf out of his book..!

Monkey. Sweet, but baby face appeal counts for nothing, in the top divisions of spookiness.

Green Two Eye & Dalmatian Cat. This is the start of the night & we expect make up to be complete! Not mentioning any names…  Disappointing nose on the feline (or could it be dalmatian..?) side of things too. But they both seem to be having a lovely time, so who are we to deride anyones look..?

Poorly trimmed Spooks. Ahem, we take that back… Could you two be any more Chefs Larder? Even proper circular eye holes alone, would have doubled your point potential, never mind raising your arms like the Mummy! Little bit of a rush job.

Unscary Clown. Novel, very novel…

Zombie Geeks. Top stare, there on the right & they project a solid groove.

Zombie Convict. Shoulda made more of the hands… Far, far too limp wristed for our liking . Must do better &  it leaves one pondering the fact, that whilst being detained at her majestys pleasure, he was perhaps buggered into total oblivion, turning him somewhat…

I am a Mime 2. Another candidate for make up lessons. You too, need to go & see Witches 11 & 18 further down the page…

Grey Zombie Contacts. Spooky & it’s a nice, camera central, hand placement.

Your Guess is a good as mine… Apparently he’s something to do with the book/movie ‘Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas’.

Evil Fairy. Bit too happy go lucky to be really evil. Sorta spooky, but it’s not an outfit from the top drawer. We think she could do better…

Thought it was a Toga party. Was wrong & now requires urgent spookifying.

The Zombie twins who shop at Next. Nice touch, in choosing the more expensive face paint than many of tonights other more ‘Homepride Flour’ zombies are sporting. Did only the top half of you get slashed & die though..?

Masked Clown. Dunno what it is about him, but he just looks a wee bit too damm, well… we suppose reasonable, is the word we are looking for.

Julius C. Being Brucie F. It’s make your mind up time…

Hillbilly Couple. The quality is back! Original & unique costume selection always wins points. A great look from them both, really excellent posing & a valiant attempt at sunken eyes. You can easly imagine them being called ‘Cleetus & Mary Lou…’  They really are getting very close to the jackpot with this entry.

Wilma Flintstone. Nice bonework & extra point for doing her best to coordinate her handbag material with her dress. Nearly got it!

Betty Rubble. Nice try, but Wilma has more bones.

Miserable Clown. Not sure quite why, but this really works…

Clockwork Orange 3. A better CO than some of the others, but still not projecting much in the  ’Hard’ dept.

Minimum Effort Cat. This look is nice & dark & all that, but where is the spookfactor? How little effort did this take? There can be no doubt she is in the party zone, but I can’t see the winners podium anywhere in sight from here.

Zombie Nun. Absolute Class, this is what we want at Halloween. True posing excellence from what was surprisingly, tonights only actual Nun. Proof that exclusivity, enthusiasm & a bit of Kate Bush lower lip… Go a long way.

The Exorcist Child. Again, pure Halloween quality. A top notch sneer & clear evidence of ectoplasm. She is totally owning that!

Zombie Red Riding Hood with an axe.‘ Sleepyhead..Oh Sleepy head..’ Why bring an axe if you aren’t going to wield it..?! Open your eyes woman, it’s chance missed.

Sewn up mouth. That is a great look ! Really well executed.

Mr & Mrs Dracula. Great to see you both, this is outstanding work. They call him the Prince of Darkness, but we all know Drac is really the King & this is a fitting homage. It doesn’t get more classic than this. Revolutionary pendant work too. Timeless.

Saucy Zombie Sailorgirl. This dapper look & is also a top pose. The precise angle of hat, is a dressie up masterclass to us all.

Skeleton Costume. Scary & with home made elements, but the mask is too shop bought.  Hope to see you in the make up dept next year.

Beetlejuice 1. You can pretend…

Beetlejuice 2. Or you can nail it… Top drawer!

Sliver Fairy. Classy outfit with ace use of Beero flour.

Lady Gaga. One of the top looks of the year… The dress of chops & bacon, with a little piggie under her arm. Doppelgangertastic!

Fake Tan Essex Vampire. Popular with commenters below, this chap has used minimum props to maximum effect. The bitemark on his neck is a delicate lecture in understatment. Very fine work with limited resources.

I’m A Lady Don’t you Know. He’s looking just a little too comfortable in his get up…

Hairy Chested Marigold Puncher. We are perplexed… who is she being?

Spooky Cat. Excellent posing skills on show here. Posetastic!

Incredible. Well, kind of alright…

Hand on Ear & Wolf Ear. Just a hint of spookiness to be found here, in the pointy ear & the laugh of the lady on the left.

Completely Unspooky Top Gun. Can someone please tell us what is scary about Neil Kinnock, dressed up as Tom Cruise..?

Yet another bloody Top Gun. Even more unspooky. Does he know what day it is..?

Jesus, give it a flippin’ rest. At least he’s zombified it a little, but let that be the last Top Gun we see please. We must reward spookiness & deride mainstream convention at all times, in this important electoral process.

Fashion Posse. Assorted spookiness on display here, but you cant deny, or argue that glamour appears to have been top priority.

Little Red Riding Hood. On first glance, seems to have borrowed Mr Wolf’s teeth…

Saucy Puppet. A nice idea but will they be there to help her all night..? If not then there’s a danger she could turn into a walking chat up line after a few beers in the Club.

Crimped Skeleton. A fairly straightforward skeleton outfit hits the next level, due to true commitment to spookiness. An amazing pose… Hands teeth & the eyes. Demonstrating clearly to us all, that dedication & self confidence can raise your whole game. Tyra Banks would be proud.

Kenny. You couldn’t miss him & he gave us all a laugh. Hired it may be, but smack on the money for Halloween, as we all know what happens to him before the show ends…

Muscular Devil. Has done his best & is almost in the zone. Loses points as we can see his pale chest under his hood. Lacks authenticity, would honsetly have prefered skinny, but totally red.

Radioactiveman. The bandage improv ski mask is his top angle. Surprised actually, not to see more stocking & ski masks about tonight, on reflection.

The well turned out Zombies. We like this a lot. We feel it encompasses start of the night freshness, with a cool preppy swerve that works well for them…

Black & White Corpse Brides. Now the left hand bride is just that…There isn’t a single thing corpse about her! The Bride on the right is we feel, far more in the zone spookwise.

Zombie Ronald McDonald. No he just looks like RM, not ZRM… We would deride & label him a charlatan, but he is heavily praised in the comment section below, for his spooky behaviour within the Club. He will be relieved to hear that on this occasion this gets him a pass…

Zombie Morrisey. ‘There is a light that never goes out…’ & you pal, in that get up, should take a tip from it… Tragic.

Zombie Micky Booblay. Was originally gonna come as the Devil, but he used all his red paint up (two handed) wanking… Whilst he was getting himself ready.

Casual Zombie. But a bit too flippin’ casual to impress us Matie… Dearie me! A classic catalogue of continuity errors on display here boys & girls…

The blood on his bandage (…jam), differs from the blood on his shirt (…tomato ketchup). Also, if he’s a Zombie & has been out attacking people & lets face it, was obviously attacked himself to become a Zombie in the first place… Then how come they ripped his shirt, but not his little sleevie T Shirt underneath..? Aha! That is a pure bred, Zombie fake you are looking at right there kids!!

The moral of this tragic underachievers little story is, true spookiness cannot be faked… It takes commitment & attention to detail in all avenues. This unfortunate young chap is only fooling himself.

Mummy 3. Right up there with the best Mummy hands of the night, neat with his eyes too. Could be the one to lecture at the Mummy open day we are planning to hold.

Your Gran 2. A good Gran but not as strong as the stooping Gran earlier.

The Joker 2. Too merry & the wrong hair. I hear few cheers…

The Joker 3. I hear even less cheers now…

Jamiroquai. With those eyebrows..? Surely choosing a Lycanthrope would been a little more appropriate & play more to his natural talents…

Prom Head Injury. Have seen him before & he usually looks like this after a night out… Costume next year please.

Devil without her trident. Needs to try a lot harder, the whole Devil thing is over subscribed this year.

Kung Fu Penguin. Great stance, but a poor overall show. You have certain talent, but you must build the confidence to try to make your costume at home next year. You can do it & you already have all the posing skills you will need to rock it…

Zombie Manageress. She actually is & looked fab on the night too. Slight quibble with the shadows simply under, as opposed to a full on, sunken eye groove, but it’s small potatoes. This is what we call leading from the front…

Giraffe? If so, you need to do some work on the neck thing, as you are missing a few feet. If not, what are you please..?

Redhead Goth. Could have been improved with a little evidence of self harm. The boundaries are there to be pushed Sweetie.

Ultra Low Budget Skeleton. Bit of a Blue Peter job on the ribs, but nice styling with the masking tape & well within the spirit of Halloween… We’d rather see a home made touch fall apart anyday, than a rented costume stay together.

Tin foil heed. Original, striking & alluring…but what’s she meant to be..?

Pirate Skeleton. A strong concept, held back by a pants mask…

Team Zissou. We initially thought they were the Mario Bros, but we were just being a bit lazy commentry wise. They have corrected us in the comment section, pointing out the (hottly disputed, by us) fact, that they are Wes Craven’s finest..

Vincent Van Gogh. Absolute flippin’ 3D genius. Blokes never been near a costume shop in his life… All you off the shelf, costume hiremongers take note. This is how it’s done. He has got to be right there when the fat lady sings…

Medusa. Now that is what you call a tight Halloween look… One of the absolute, pioneering best. She hasn’t scrimped on the snakes or the sauce…  Snake pendant too, totally ozzing attention to detail & making it all look so effortless…  An stunning & exceptional presentation.

The Mummy 4. Looks a bit like Tom the Dj but it’s not him. Really excellent Mummy stance, top drawer. Another potential Mummy open day lecturer.

Properly made up Zombie. Excellent work! Nice skin peel too & sure to be mentioned in dispatches for the arms & subtle hand wound.

The Lady in Black. It’s a well spooky stare she lays on us… No real costume to speak of, just a lady in black, with a mighty spooky stare. She’s never gonna win it, but you can see she has something here…

Purple dude. Nice try matie, but Witches 11 & 18 (below) are said to be running a little make up awareness programme shortly, for some of the other entrants on this page. You should go…

Doctor Death 2. Far better executed than Dr Death 1 further up the page. Plus, the apparent blood on his thumb begs the question…

Well posed Skeleton. A growl & a hiss makes all the difference & lifts her whole groove. See kids, it’s about attitude, commitment & spookiness.

Pumpkin. They were thin on the ground this year, the old pumpkin costumes. Good to see the genre kept alive here.

Only did my eyes. Couldn’t be bothered… Naughty step.

Only did my earings. You too… Naughty step.

Moby the Zombie. This look is on in a lot of ways, but mainly just because he rocks it & is owning the pose.

Blood Spattered Little Red Riding Hood. Another fair effort, but though she is a wee bit spattered, as so often happens with a look (especially with you ladies) she’s quite evidently gone for glamour before gore…

Crimped nurses of death & Cold chum. Crimping is an 80’s goth classic so there are points here for the ladies in white. Not enough actual blood on the bodies though, so they miss out on the point raising benefits of us using words like spatter & splatter. Can’t help thinking that Cold Chum is letting the side down a little in the spooky dept. Another potential case of glamour over gore…

Anybody’s guess… An outstanding mish mash of styles here, all adding up the blatant fact he’s an obvious wierdo not just here, but also in real life. Fantastic faux-prayer hand clasp on display. Make up wise though, you have to wonder if he tore his tights as his last job..?

Baby boy. Now had his bottle been a big fat dildo, we’d be in business spookywise…

Zombie Crocodile. A great look & a fine capture the moment style pose. Look at the way she is curling her fingers & that effortless facial scrunch. Properly living in the moment. Nice touch with the blood on her hand corresponding to the same bloodied side of her mouth too. Proper effort & a top quality entrant.

But why on earth didn’t her chum standing behind her enter too though..? She has one of the best bleeding eye sockets of the night..!

Stripey Something. What is going on here? We have no idea…

The Lord Thy God. An interesting selection… His blood from his eye sockets is a little on the poor side & looks more like some kinda tu’ppeny Cochise vibe, or a druggie Adam Ant, but full marks for his spooky teeth.

Regan in his normal clothes.

Rubiks Pumpkin. Kinda hedging her bets here with a double hitter.

Charva Tiger. Ha! Now here is a fine non spooky look. He’s got something, can’t be sure what it is but there’s a certain skagified, wobbly egg of a groove to the lad…

Misery guts. Take normal clothes & add jam. Not the most creative of formulas. Limp…

The Good Fairy. Is on a hiding to nothing on a spooky night like tonight…

Cobweb Face. Good idea no doubt… But a visit to see ‘The Mexican Spirits’ further up the page is in order, for some face paint application refresher sessions.

Not sure, just a bit f**ked up really. A bizzare look, that obviously only he gets.

Right place, wrong time… The only spooky thing here is the fact that they might actually mate with each other…

Super Evil Donkey (part 2). Even though we all know if you need a sign on your costume that means it’s pants, Super Evil Donkey (part 2) doesn’t seem to care. Having a surname like (part 2) in the sequel soaked horror genre, is really topical, fortuitous bonus & mark of class. Top nonchalant swagger & ill fitting chic. You can even see his underpants, but somehow it all just works…

Over Exposed Devil. At last a tad of Devil freestyle, with the bin bag cape. Better quality horns & trident than most on show here today too. Over exposed, but it’s not her fault.

The Radioactive Brothers. Slacking on the job from number two. His hood is down revealing normal hair… You can’t win this if you don’t pay attention to the bit when you get your photo taken pal.

Anchorman. He’s gone for the whole look, but it isn’t spooky at all. Also it’s a cotton jacket & unless that’s a wet patch down there… a velvet pant. Shocking continuity error. Seems to have somewhat misread the autoque…

Stray Toryboy. They seem to get everywhere these days & the general populations indifference to their current political rise  is actualy quite spooky…

Scary Clown. Repeat costume alert! Same as last year… naughty step!

Affirmative Zombie. No mate, thumbs down… Ears, make up, get it..?

Al Capone minus the scar. He is into his pose but is more fancy dress, than spookified. Once again the assembled crowd of voters scream out… ‘Shoulda gone for the Werewolf..!‘  Check those pure bred silverback arms out. I bet he climbs the f**k out of trees!

The Green Fairy. More of a Springtime vibe we reckon. Could have opted for the snarling zombie thing instead & utilised her gnashers a little better. Maybe next year…

The Blues (yawn) Brothers. Originality bypass. Lose marks.

Ultimate Werewolf. So good, it’s worth a second look… Here is what we have been going on about all through this crazy contest, playing to your strengths. Take a look down near his belt… You see that? It’s a little hairy Wolfman belly, you know it is… The beauty of this is, so does he! And he has made his final costume selection accordingly & with reference to his natural god given gifts…

Ultimate Werewolf in close up. There you have it, spook integrity. He went down exceptionally well in the Club because of that. If you were at the bar & turned around suddenly & he was behind you, you were properly spooked. We know it’s a mask, but well integrated, with a lovely pair of furry pork choppers, all on the back of a naturally hirsute little potlet… Top ten material, no question!

Battered Centurian. What a player! Apparently the story goes that he fell over drunk, on the metro on the way in, bashing all his face & tearing his jerkin breastplate…

Look closely, it’s not make up, it’s a swollen man in actual traumatic shock… Still he makes it to the party.  A real trouper & a credit to us all…

Skullhead John. A 100% improvement on his last years Marcel Mine thing which was tragic. Living proof spook classes pay dividends…

A Wee Bit Cat. Not a lot, just a wee bit…

Billiecat. And her magic clipboard with all the costumes names in numerical order. Yeah right..!

Sailorboy. Looks back at the closet door… Takes a deep breath…

Cabaret Cheryl. With all that clobber to choose from & that’s the best she can do..? Spook classes for xmas is what she’s hoping for…

Zombie Tony Blair. Actually looks quite like him. Tres inventive…

Saw Woman. She has assembled the essentials for her costume well. The addition of the bag obviously loses marks, but she pulls it all back with the cassette…

Well Styled Zombie Princess. She is a spook veteran, you can tell… Work went into that dress, her tasteful centralised chest spatter & overall gory look. One of our stronger pagent based contestants for sure. Love the way she is tending to her hair, even though she is apparently dead. Quality touch from a lady who understands what it takes to do well at this, the top level of spookdom.

Crow Woman. Bordered on the witch category but with no hat, we couldn’t say for sure. We feel she’s more about her striking featherwork, which is nice to see & most encouraging. Wouldn’t be a shock to see more of that feathered caper popping up in next years competition.

Skeleton & Handbag. Triumphant sunken eye work here & attention to detail with the bone gloves & hand drawn tights. Get the arms out, lose the bag & there are prizes possible. But she didn’t, so lets all drown her!

Non spooky, poorly styled attempt, at a Soccer casual. Hand on heart he already knows it.

The Mummettes. A great effort featuring excellent bandage application. Well wrapped, but with a nice loose, dishevled hang. Next time, hands out front for the top marks ladies.

The Three Little Pigs & the Big Bad Wolf. Top flavour. Proof that sometimes route one is best.

The Must Try Harder Cat Twins. A mask & a pose is simply not enough. We all expect more from you next year… Commendable lip & finger work in spite of that, but we hate to see prospective spook potential go to waste. With this in mind we are going to give you both some homework… Over the coming year you must spend as much time on spook practise as you do on fake tan… Do this simple task & the sky’s the limit for next years outfits for you two.

Zombie Lab Technician. He is trying, but there really is no excuse for contminated footwear in a laboratory environment. His messed up beard is scary enough on it’s own. Shoulda maybe  just have come as himself…

Golden Rabbit. She’s got a cool vibe going on there, not outwardly mad enough to ring the terror bells. Symetrical whiskers though, which is always nice.

Little Green Riding Hood. A bit like Little Red Riding Hood, just recycled.

Garth & Wayne. Proof simple can be good when delivered with the correct facial expressions. One of our fave non spooky contenders.

Scary Clown 2. It is very scary, but also very shop bought. Hideous mouth parts could perhaps have been cut out & then put to better use in a self made jobbie, as a sticky on bit…

Not Quite Johnny Depp… But his innovative beard locks rock & are far & away his best component.

Two of Michael Jacksons arms, grafted onto Lady Gaga..? Sorry Dear, but this look has not come together for us.

Zombie Cheerleaders. Surely extra points for the classic Zombie/Mummy stance..? Basic but effective, A-grade head flops complete the look…

Goth Virgin. They always die brutally in horror movies so a brave choice, to accompany a nice cold gaze.

Alice In Wonderland. We are liking the little ‘drink me’ pendant, nice touch.

Zombie Rocker. Classic sunken eye work is the high point here. A good mask, but not the best mask, as the best masks never really look like a mask.

Sinister Abigail. The ‘leafless tree etching’ blood splatter on her neck & chest is a topical, artistic & unique autumnal addition.

The Evil John Terry. He’s a reet bastard, that Chelsea Captain. Looks like one of his News of the World tell all ladyfriends caught up with him at last. Or perhaps his wife…

Well fed Steve Coogan the Monk… Nailed him.

Ghostbuster Logo. We kinda like this.. 3 simple elements put together well.

Stilletto Skeleton. It’s an appropriate leer with excellent teethwork. Arms a bit limp though & a large part of her look seems to stem from all that Smirnoff she had, in the house before she came out.

Roadkill. Classic! Original & very well executed. Should have taken their coats off for the full effect.

The Witches start here…

Princess, Witch 1 & Fairy. Princess is not spooking us at all & seems to be a minimum effort tiara job. Witch 1 is sporting the classic look with a nice shoulder shrug & crushed purple velvet, nice too. Fairy is chilling out between spells & could use some accessories like a visible wand or such like.

Witch 2. The whole Witchy genre is flooded with the same look, so the little things you can do to set yours apart matter greatly in tense, competitive situations. The Hat buckle used to be industry standard, but you rarely see it these days. So she scores with that & uses a cool gathered shoulder vibe, purple & sequins to fully complement the look…

Witch 3. You forgot to say ‘Abracadabra’ Petal, so it’s not a broomstick, it’s still a thumb…

Witches 4 & 5. Ooh it’s close with these two… Stripey tights are a witching classic, there on the left, but her pal on the right has some too & the ultra rare,  little albino, mini finger bat. It’s a hot touch & just shades it for her…

Witch 6. We weren’t sure she was a Witch, but took a chance. No hat, no broomstick… Glowstick? Have we misjudged her?

Witch 7. It’s Game On! Kate Bush lower lip, classic hand gestures, so, so close… Shoulda just lost the purse.Literally inches away!

Witch 8. Is rocking a cool Wisteria Lane thing with feather boa to boot…

Witch 9. We thought they had all forgotten… At last a bloody broomstick!

Witch 10. And Witch 10 knows just what to do with it…

Witch 11. Hold up! The game just got interesting… No sooner do the broomsticks appear, than the quest for the red shoes takes over. What a class Witch! This is amazing make up work. The folded arms & the scowl are all from the premier league of spookature…

Breaking News! It has just been brought to our attention by our comment adjudicator, Ronnie the dog, that Witch11’s knuckles that she has there above, are in fact white..! Scandal!!!! Scratch all of the above complements, then strip, drown & scorch the Witch.

Witch 12. Overshadowed momentarily, by the sudden burst of (at first glance) apparently, pure Witchie perfection above… She’s enjoying herself though & we’re sure even she would have agreed, prior to the earth shattering scandal of Knucklegate…

Witch 13. Witches handbook page 1… Always wear a pointy hat & dress in black and/or purple. Oliver Cromwell hats though nearly there, are not approved Witching uniform.

Witch 14. Nice crumpled cone on the hat, implying that she has been a Witch for some length of time…

Witch 15. Crimping is working well here, but there’s a distinct lack of terror & broomstick. That nice smidge of purple, just peeping over the brim of her hat is a dope look & saves her.

Witch 16. No purple or transport here either, but top grade lacework, an icy stare & a clearly visible shiny hat buckle. All good…

Witch 17. A hint of purple eyeshadow, clever use of silver on the upper arm & a quality seaside postcard look, bring her crashing straight into the upper echelons of the Witch running…

Witch 18. Nailed it! Stripey tights, check. Broomstick, check. Cape, check. Pointy hat, check. Flawless green skin, check. Do you mean knuckles as well..? Check. Then to top it all off she weighs in with red nail varnish & lips, as a counterpoint to all the green!

There’s unfortunately no way to tell from this pose if she has a buckle on her hat for the complete set, but regardless of that, this ultra performance, high grade, premier league witchery, right here in front of your two eyes. Very, very, very strong…

Witch 19. Wait a minute, are you sure…?

‘Yup, I’ve got my wand right here!’ A* posing ability, no question.

Witch 20. A friendly smile is not what this game is about my Dear. Go round & call for Witch 11. She’ll put you straight…

Witch 21. Quality eyebrows & we can’t be certain, but we think that may be a tiny little purple Witches hat on her head..? But it could just be another Witch standing in the background…

Witch 22. Putting glamour before spookiness is not a crime, but it may lose you votes. You really need to stop looking after your skin if you wanna score big next time in this category Sweetie. Get your nose broken, grow a couple of warts etc. Lose the Clarins & swap it for beef dripping, then you might be in with a chance…

Witches 23, 24,25,26,& 27. Are all just sporting hats, none of which have buckles. No purple, no broomsticks. They are enjoying their night, but the winning post at this level of tip top competition is going to most probably elude them…

Witchman. Our only male witch… Not in black, no green skin, no broomstick, no cape. Notice also, his tiny little stick wand he has there, cupped in the palm of his hand… On this tragic showing this could well be a subtle Halloween metphor for his love life.

And Last, but not least…

Emo Dude. He’s poor in all areas with his smudgey makeup & half missed ear. He’s also thrown a wobbler down in the comment section below, where he says…

‘You’re a bunch of idiots calling me an “emo dude” its black metal cock suckers, bit too heavy on the ignorance…‘

Hee hee, flippin’ priceless!  You can’t even pay to hear comedy like that..! What a Character! Que his name change…

Black Metal Cock Suckers.

Phew! That’s it folks, the 2010 line up is complete. We do hope you have enjoyed the costumes, 2010 has been an exceptional vintage!

Now it’s time to vote…

When voting please use the name that we have given the costume so we can be sure who you mean & score them out of ten.

When you vote it comes to the WHQ office & we then have to approve it to avoid getting loads of spam, so don’t worry if you don’t see your vote up straight away, we will update the voting daily in chunks.

You are free to use any hustle you like to get more votes & it’s ok to put links from this page to facebook etc if you wanna run a full on campaign for yourself.

The categories are, Best Witch, Best None Spooky Costume & thirdly, the Most Inovative New Costume Idea.

Lastly there is the ultimate accolade… The Spookiest Costume Of All..!

The winner of this will get  £100.00 cash, 2 WHQ Hoodies, 2 WHQ baseball shirts, 4 tickets for New Years Eve & free admission to the Club, for them & a friend, on every Friday & Saturday for the next year.

There are loads of other prizes too & the competition is open for at least a couple of weeks so feel free to vote for as many costumes as you like. Thanks so much for taking part x.

Scroll down to see what took us so long…

Our Murals are one of the many things that move our Club forward & set us apart from all other places. After a Summer of planning in 2010, work was finally started on our brand new & most ambitious Mural ever…

It was to go on the massive empty wall at the top of the front stairs, just outside the main doors to the upstairs Club, where the Orangutan used to hang before he moved downstairs. the plan was, it should be our finest ever work by miles & it completely blow people’s minds.

We decided to present it in the style of a Victorian war painting, along the lines of a ‘Charge of the Light Brigade’ type vibe. We didn’t however, seek to glorify the dubious & pointless activities of the nonsensical, imperialist, european armies of yesteryear…

Instead it was painted on a similarly massive scale, but was to be a scene from nature, depicting real evolution, meaningful violence & feature only wild animals…

At over 7 metres long & nearly 2.5 metres high it’s a big, big mural & without doubt this would have been be a truly massive undertaking for any talented artist. As with all murals in the Club it was painted by someone who actually works here, as we never use outsiders.

The lucky chappie tasked with this epic mission was Teal Griffin, who had worked with us behind the bar at the Club for yonks.

He is the dude who painted the outstanding, massive Charles Darwin Mural inside the upstairs Club near the space invader. A photo of which you can see here below…

He also did our box office backdrop for us earlier that Summer, incorporating all our logos. That was a very constrained & linear job & was a proper pain in the arse for him to get exactly right. Lining it all up spot on took forever & we may yet tweak it even more.

This one was much more up his street & a proper challenge for him to enjoy, far more suited to a man of his genius artistic eye & skills. The way it shaped up in the planning process it all came together & couldn’t really have grown from scratch, any more organically.

We hung out a lot, plotting the look of it, making the plan & generally talking over the ins & outs required for the creation of this large scale, epic real life animal drama. It was a bit like constructing a movie storyboard & was really, really exciting.

As you can see from these initial sketches we developed, we decided on a view of the Mara River as Zebra & Wildebeast make the annual migratory crossing.

All the other major stars on the plains had a role to play & Lion, Hyena, Leopard, Vulture, Crocodile,  Hunting Dog & all the gang were planned to be in attendance. This was an A-list cast we put together.

We took a lot of time (as you must if you want something like this to come off as a bomb) to research all of the headlining animals, studying David Attenborough DVDs & also a load of old 19th century war oil paintings for the style & fashion of the piece.

You would be surprised just how much background work goes into plotting this kinda mad thing, but we were certain the jaw dropping end result would more than justify it all.

This is a vision of ’survival of the fittest’ on a grand scale. It’s very, very brutal indeed & depicts nature at it most raw, moving, exciting, natural & meaningful.

We aimed to make it even more brutal & violent than any of those 19th century war paintings, whose intricate, detailed, overblown style we based it on.  What we were creating is the exact moral opposite of that Victorian fashion, of using art to glorify suffering.  Our art depicts violence born of hunger, raw instinct & survival. It’s the polar opposite of self righteous imperialists, wanking off on images of war for greed.

Many of those old oil paintings have a really dramatic take on fear, transmitted best on the frantic faces & in the wide, terrified eyes of the charging cavalry horses they depict.

We also worked on capturing that, within the eyes of our Wildebeast & Zebra cast. 

It slowly took shape over the initial few weeks & we had originally planned to have it completed by late September 2010, but as they tend to, things got busy & when that happens, not everything always goes according to plan.

Which of course it didn’t as its now already late 2011…

We can’t imagine why it took so long…? But here is a little snap of a now famous artist, back at Halloween 2010…  As you can clearly see, here is Teal off his rocker at Halloween, dressed up as a little robot, wondering how he hadn’t managed to find the time to finish the picture yet…?!

One thing is certain, now that he has finished it, it’s a total show stopper & almost too amazing to believe.

We whacked some more photos (below) up to show the initial progress over the folowing days… then we realised it was gonna go on for ever & changed folowing ‘days’ to ’ months’ instead & rather than lie.

Three days in…

Head on view…

Five days in…

Head on view…

Early background washes…

Showing the first signs of the bend in the river…

Looking at the middle…

Starting to come together…

Bones….

Then meat starts to go on……

Into the water…

Whoops…!

That’s gotta hurt…

Quality lion dinner action…

 Quality vulture dinner action….

Now all his mates want some…

We even got Ronnie the Club dog in the picture, chilling with some of her distant big eared relatives…

Only a year late, the whole kaboodle is complete now, it’s had it’s coat of varnish & shall now remain forever, what is to date, the greatest of the WHQ murals. 

Below are some extras shots to show you how it all turned out, but to really feel the scale of it all you gotta come & see it in person.

 No one is safe…. 

 Mrs Lion hates the Hyenas…

 He’s really mean…

 All in at once…

 So close..!

 About one third of the action…

It’s a great mural & you can’t possibly miss it, so be sure to check it out next time you visit us for a fun night out.

Next up - Aretha Franklin done in the style of  the Queen on a massive kinda 12 foot high postage stamp, as ‘Queen of Soul’.  This will go up as part of our current renovation of the downstairs Club that is happening now. It will be over in the corner, where the massive window used to be.

At WHQ dreams never end & planning that next epic mural has already started…

Originating from London’s Bar Rumba, The Get Down has been voted the number 1 Urban Club night in the UK .  This is the real deal right here, like Newcastle has never seen before…..! Downstairs in WHQ one Saturday each month.

The Getdown Crew have swept across London’s club scene like a tidal wave with a fresh new sound incorporating eclectic musicality and straight up crowd rocking sets. Comfortable in front of any crowd, from underground Hip Hop nights to the West Ends sophisticated RnB scene, the Getdown Crew are guaranteed to deliver.

Expect to hear party classics thrown in next to Hip Hop gems of old alongside the most upfront Hip Hop, R’N'B, Bashment, Old Skool Garage, Funky House, Jungle, Soca and even various other genres from around the world.

Urban Music Awards 06/07 Winners:
After running the Getdown for over 2 years at London’s Bar Rumba, the crew were not only nominated for Best Club Night at this year’s Urban Music Awards but voted the number 1 urban club night in the UK. The Urban Music Awards are decided purely from public votes, proving that the night is the people’s favourite.

http://www.thegetdown.co.uk/

Vintage roots music from the ‘20s to the ‘50s - big band swing, gypsy jazz, jump jive, rhythm and blues, original rock ‘n’ roll.

Plus:
Full Entertainment line up TBC

* The Beauty Bar!
* Free swing dance taster for early birds!
* Proper vintage cocktails at the bar all night!
* Prizes for best dressed!

Doors 8pm
World Headquarters, Carliol Square, Newcastle-upon-Tyne
£8/£7

Top notch Vintage Cocktails…

 

 

Swung Eight is expanding even the further the wide diversity & depth of music & clubnights that we present…

 

 

The Swung Eight is like nothing you have seen before…

 

 

 ‘This is the kind of night many of us have been clamouring for… our advice: swing by’
- The Crack 

 Free Lindy-Hop taster, best dressed prizes & special guests.

 

 

8pm -1am, downstairs at World Headquarters. 

 

 

The promoters of The Swung Eight are enthusiasts of retro chic & anyone who is really into what they do is cool with us, so come along & see just how stylish & how much fun it is for yourself.

 

 

 We are really looking forward to this ..!!

 

 

Chum up with the Swung Eight gang on facebook…

 

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=322720765275

 

 

or on myspace at  http://www.myspace.com/theswungeight

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

In terms of the music we play, it’s the best & most diverse selection you’ll hear anywhere in the City.

For more on the  music, have a look at the Inspirational Weekends & The Spiritually Uplifting WHQ Groove paragraphs, under the WHQ Club tag in the top header.

Friday is just £5.00 befpore 11.30pm, then £6.00 members & £7.00 guests.

Saturday night entry is just £7.00 members, £8.00 guests.

Our aim is to provide a top notch, cute underground club, that stays open later than anywhere else, at a really fair price. The reason we do this, is so we can be sure that everyone who is into diverse, positive music, racial harmony & having fun at the weekend has the opportunity to come & be part of our uplifting, happening little scene.

You don’t need to be a WHQ member to come, all friendly people are welcomed here.

Membership of World Headquarters is free, all you have to do is drop us an e-mail to info@welovewhq.com with your name, address & date of birth & we’ll get a card straight out to you with maybe a couple of very pleasant surprises to go along with it…

All our drinks are at pub prices & you’ll be surprised at how low things are compared to all other places. So celebrating your weekend with us, doesn’t cost the earth & even when it’s your round, you’re laughing.

We really are the best value for money your club dollar buys & the best weekend party anywhere in the country. Come & see us this weekend & remember, that a night at the World Headquarters Club costs you half as much as going dancing anywhere else.

Feel free to come along & see us this Friday or Saturday, you’ll be really glad you did x.

See upcoming events for full details of these & all our other exciting parties.

The new night in Newcastle, dedicated to all lovers of house. We promise to bring you the biggest and best:Deep House - Tech House - Minimal Tech

Big thanks to everyone who came down to the Opening Party and helped make it the amazing night it was…

If you missed it check out the photos:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.160981364029325.32186.100003523877821&type=3

Saturday 09/06/2012 Nebula Presents

Max Chapman (Hot Creations / Lower East / Kaluki)

In 2011, Max Chapman stepped into the spotlight. Still aged only 23, Max’s quick rise to the forefront of the UK’s underground house circuit has come solely as a result of his own passion, energy and talent.

Now Max is being booked for some of the most prolific parties and venues in the UK, with Sankeys (Manchester), Back to Basics (Leeds), krankbrother (London) and Creche (London) all falling for his crunching basslines and melodic grooves in 2011.

Max’s first EP, the Lost EP on Electronique Digital, won instant acclaim - with “Don’t Go” being featured on Pete Tong’s BBC Radio 1 show, and instantly shooting to the top of the Beatport Charts. Further productions are forthcoming later this year on Jamie Jones’ and Lee Foss’ iconic Hot Waves imprint, as well as more material on Lower East and Kaluki.

http://soundcloud.com/max-chapman

Supported by…
Micky Kendal (Our House)
Simon Claughton
Richard Tubman (Nebula)

Downstairs at World Headquarters, located at:

Curtis Mayfield House
Carliol Square
East Pilgrim Street
Newcastle upon Tyne
United Kingdom
NE1 6UF

Tickets: £6

http://www.notjustaticket.com/events/view/108/nebula-presents-max-chapman-whq-saturday-9th-june

Local ticket sellers available soon!

11pm – 4 AM

For More Information visit:

NEBULA PAGES:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003523877821

http://www.facebook.com/nebulanewcastle